I Was a Bottom Feeding Boar Tit

Or, I’ve been temping.

Two weeks ago, I see an ad in the paper for a machinist’s job, so I call up the number listed in the ad, and it turns out it’s a temp agency and they’re doing the hiring for a machine shop. I go to the agency, fill out an application, and all the other necessary paperwork, then the next day I go for an interview at the machine shop (I don’t get the job, and neither does anybody else who applies for it). When I get home the lady from the temp agency calls me up and says she’s got a job for me, working for one of Nissan’s subcontractors at the Nissan plant in Smyrna. She doesn’t have any more info on the job than that and that the position is “indefinate.” Now, of course, this could mean that I’m only going to be working one night, or I could be a “perma-temp,” but I don’t care since I’m having to appeal my unemployment claim, and haven’t heard anything from the state as to when I’ll be having a hearing on that, so I really need the money. A little while later she calls me back and says that she needs to tell me that the reason the job is paying $10/hr is because they want me as a “supervisor” for some reason. The company wants two temps there, and one of them is to be the “supervisor” by luck of the draw, that’s me. She tells me I’m to meet the guy from the company at the front entrance of Nissan at 9:30 PM that night, along with the other guy who interviewed for the machinist’s job.

Now, I really don’t like temping, but I figure that if I’m actually going to be in the Nissan plant (which pays big money), then there’s a chance I can slip my resume into the hands of someone at Nissan and actually get a job working there. I catch a nap, and then head down to the Nissan plant.

When I get there, I discover that the front entrance of the building isn’t open. I park my car and walk up to the front of the building, figuring that dude is probably waiting inside with a security guard to let me in. Even if he’s not, I figure that by walking in front of the building that I’ll attract the attention of the security guards who’ll be able to provide me with more information.

I would like to point out that Nissan has approximately $150,000 worth of vehicles parked in front of their plant as displays, with no security cameras! Now, I’m not saying that an enterprising car theif could pull up with a rollback, load up with some brand new, fully loaded Nissans, and pull away with no one noticing, but it sure looked that way to me.

Eventually, the guy from XYZ company (the one that called the temp agency) shows up. He gets out of his car, and I quickly realize that he’s the unholy love-child of Samwise and Forrest Gump. He has no idea of what’s going on, where we’re supposed to go in, and what we’re supposed to be doing. He tries to give me an explaination of what I’m going to be doing, but it’s utterly rambling and incomprehensible. All I can make out of it is something dealing with HVAC. I’m not even going to try to duplicate what he said, because it was just so much jibberish.

Since SamGump doesn’t know exactly what’s going on, and since Joe Camel hasn’t shown up yet, he decides he’s going to head over to the gate where we go in. He asks me for my cell number so that he can call me and let me know what’s going on if he gets it all figured about before Joe gets there. He tells me that if Joe shows up before he gets back or calls, to send Joe over to the gate where he’s going and then follow him over.

SamGump leaves and a few minutes later, Joe Camel shows up. I relate to him everything that SamGump’s told me, and he hops back into his car to head over to the gate SamGump’s at. As I’m walking towards my car, SamGump pulls up and asks if Joe showed up. I tell him that Joe’s just left to go to the gate. SamGump freaks out, because it’s the wrong gate. SamGump tells me the right gate, and to head on over there while he goes and tries to find Joe.

I head on over to the other gate, and as I’m walking up to it, Joe comes up and starts telling me that he was originally waiting for SamGump to show up at this gate before he went over to where I was. SamGump, meanwhile, is nowhere to be found. So we wait outside of the security office at the gate for SamGump to show up. When SamGump finally makes it, we go into the security office.

Before security will let us in the plant, they need to know where we’re going and who our contact person inside the plant is. Of course, SamGump has only the vaguest of ideas where we’re going and has no idea of who our contact person in the plant might be. The security people are nice and helpful, but there’s not a whole lot they can do without knowing who we’re supposed to see in the plant. By this time, it’s 10 PM, and SamGump is obviously tired, and is having trouble figuring out what the hell he should do.

Eventually, he calls someone at XYZ company, and they tell him what he needs to know, he passes this information on to the security guard, who makes a call back to the department, and then tells us that they’ll be sending someone up to escort us back to where we’re going to be working. Joe Camel tries to get an explanation out of SamGump as to what we’re going to be doing, but fails in getting a coherent answer out of him.

Finally, a guy shows up to take us back. We walk inside the plant, and there’s an electric cart sitting just inside the doors for us. The guy explains that since there’s only two seats in the thing, he’s going to have to take us one at a time back to where we’ll be working. I hop in (since this guy seems to have a clue, and I want to get the hell away from SamGump as soon as I can before the stupid start’s rubbing off on me) and we zip off.

Now, I’ve been in a car plant once before. When I was about 12 or so, Honda opened up a plant in Marysville, OH, and since my mom was working at a Honda dealership, we got to take a tour of that plant. I don’t remember a lot about it, but it was absolutely spotless, spacious, and well laid out. Nissan’s plant has been open for about 20 years now, and while it’s a huge plant (where we ended up was a half mile from the door we came in at), it’s pretty crammed full of stuff right now, but it’s clean and well maintained. I’ve been in warehouses that were far newer that weren’t in as good a shape as the Nissan plant is.

As we’re zipping along in the cart, I’m looking around and grinning like an idiot, because it’s pretty easy for me to figure out what everything in the place is. It’s all well laid out, and at a glance, you can tell what’s going on in a particular area. This a marked contrast from some of the places I’ve worked, like Amalgamated Moron Manufacturing, where things were just randomly piled up everywhere. I’m also trying to spot where the HR offices might be, so I know where to slip a copy of my resume, but I can’t spot any.

Dude drops me off at the line where I’m to be working, and takes off to get the others. A guy who’s obviously some kind of supervisor walks up to me and asks if I’m from XYZ. I tell him I am, and he says, “Good! I’ll show you what we need you to do.” He takes me over, and quickly explains that the foam on the heater ducts they’re trying install in the dashes of Altimas is loose. I’m to adjust the foam on the ducts so that they can install the ducts correctly. A piece of cake.

SamGump and Joe Camel finally arrive, and eventually it all becomes clear as to what’s going on, and who works for whom. XYZ company makes the foam for PDQ, who makes the ducts, PDQ, in turn, supplies the ducts to DEF, who installs them in dashes for Nissans. Nissan found that the ducts with the improperly seated foam tended to rattle, so they complained to DEF, DEF called up PDQ and reported the problem to them. PDQ called XYZ and bitched them out about it and told them to get someone into the plant to fix the problem. XYZs solution was to hire temps to do it. Confused? Reread the paragraph again and you’ll get it.

So, instead of any the companies involved sending their own employees into the plant to correct the problem (thus enabling them to get a handle on the problem and correcting it in their plant before it got shipped to Nissan) they hired temps to do it for them. Once again, I have a job thanks to idiots not knowing what the hell they were doing! :smack: Og bless America!

Now the ducts are delivered to the assembly line where I’m standing in large racks that hold 12 ducts to a layer, with a total of 36 ducts on each rack. It takes me a couple of seconds a layer to fix all the loose foam. Then I get to stand around and watch the people at DEF install the ducts into the dashes. Yep, I’m a supervisor all right! :smiley:

So once SamGump figures out that I know what the hell I’m doing, he takes Joe Camel down to the line where he’s going to be working. One of the DEF supervisors asks me if XYZ knows what’s causing the problem with the foam coming off. Now, I’m torn for a moment. Should I be honest and say that I have no idea what the hell XYZ’s doing since I’m only a temp? Or should I give him some kind of BS answer that sounds good, but covers everyone’s ass? I quickly decide that it’ll make my life easier if I just come clean and say I’m a temp who’s just been hired to fix the foam and I don’t know anything else about the matter. That way, if something goes wrong, they’re not going to be on my ass about it.

Sometime later, SamGump comes back to check on how I’m doing. He starts saying that it’s not really his company’s fault that the foam’s coming loose, which is true. It’s pretty obvious that when the foam was installed at PDQ, they didn’t apply enough pressure on the foam for it to adhere to the surface. SamGump also tells me that he thinks that they’re only going to need me tonight and tomorrow night. Which is bad, since at what they’re paying me, two nights pay is just going to insure that I won’t be able to draw unemployment for a week, even though I’ll be earning less than what unemployment would be paying me. (Frankly, I fail to see the logic in how the unemployment is set up in this state. By law, if someone offers me a job which pays roughly what you were making, then you have to take it, even if it’s merely a temporary position. The max you can make and still draw unemployment is $68/week. The max unemployment you can draw is $275/week. So, if you take a job for a day, and it pays you $69, you don’t get to draw unemployment, but if you turn that job down, you’re in violation of the law, since someone’s offered you a job. Nice to know that Catch-22 is alive and well.) What’s worse, though, is how SamGump is phrasing it. Instead of saying, “We’re probably only going to need you for a couple of nights, but we’ll keep you on as long as we need to until we get the problem solved.” He’s saying things like, “Hopefully we’ll only need you tonight and tomorrow night.”

SamGump’s still pretty confused about everything, and talks about coming back by in the morning before we leave, and just rambling in general. I’m desperately trying not to throttle him while screaming, “I need a fucking job, you moron! I need to know how long this job’s going to last so I can plan my finances!” He tells me to keep on eye on Joe Camel (without ever telling me where the line Joe’s working on is) and then wanders off in search of the exit.

So, once I get the rack by the line fixed, I start watching and helping the DEF folks do their job. It keeps me busy and I figure that it might help me get a job with DEF. Besides, it’s not like it’s hard work at all. Grab one part of a duct, set it on a stand, grab another part of a duct, fit it to the first part, run a screw into a hole, then set the thing on the conveyor and wait for the next open slot to appear, before doing it all again. Compared to working for Amalgamated Moron Manufacturing, hell, compared to most of the jobs I’ve had, it’s freakin’ gravy. The night goes fairly smoothly and I eventually find Joe’s line, where he’s got it even easier than I have it. His line moves at half the speed the one I’m on moves at, so he’s got plenty of time to goof off. He’s also got better looking women on his line, so I’m pretty much jealous of the bastard.

The next night starts out almost the same as the night before. I arrive at the security office to find Joe Camel there waiting. He states that he’s not going to be walking back to the line and he’s going to wait until SamGump shows up and we get a ride back. Me? I had been planning on signing in, and then heading back. So I join Joe in waiting for SamGump to show up. He does, and we all walk back to the line (getting lost in the process).

When we finally make it back to the lines, SamGump pulls me aside and tells me to make sure I keep an eye on Joe. Why, and what the hell he expects me to do if Joe fucks up or off is beyond me. The DEF folks are not going to install the ducts if there’s problems with the foam, so Joe’s going to have to do the work. He also tells us that he’s got no idea of how much longer the job’s going to last, so just plan on showing up tomorrow night as well.

This night goes pretty much like the night before, but I do manage to leave copies of my resume, with a “We need this guy!” message written in handwriting that looks suspiciously similar to my own in the margins, in a couple of the HR offices in the plant. :smiley:

On Thursday night, SamGump still doesn’t have a clue as to how long the job’s going to be lasting. He mutters incoherently about how much this is costing his employer, and how it’s not really their fault. I try and tune him out, concentrating on getting to know the people who work for DEF, in hopes of landing a job working for them. SamGump does give Joe and I instructions to write down how many ducts we find on each rack with problems and what the problems are. He leaves and Joe and I go to work. Well, I do. Joe doesn’t have much to do, so he reads the book he’s brought when he’s not fixing foam.

We don’t work again until Sunday. SamGump doesn’t even bother to show up (him having something better to do), and Joe and I discover that the problem’s been partially corrected. Only half the racks have messed up foam on them. This sends Joe into a tizzy, since it means that he’s got even less to do. (He, BTW, isn’t helping the folks on his line.) Me? I don’t care. I need the money, plus it gives me another opportunity to drop off more copies of my resume. :smiley:

Monday night turns out to be more of the same, only this time SamGump shows up and collects our accounts of what alls gone wrong with the foam for the past couple of nights. I don’t know, but I suspect that SamGump just threw away our accounts since he didn’t really seem to be concerned about them. Joe at one point wanders down to my line and bitches about how he doesn’t have anything to do, and tells me that after they drop off the next rack on his line, he’s going home (since SamGump has no way of knowing how long we actually work). Me, I’m going to be a good boy and stay all night, just in case.

Tuesday rolls around and the lady from the temp agency calls me and says they won’t be needing me any more. Well, fuck! Now, I’ve got to get myself back on a day schedule so I can go look for a job. I couldn’t really work thirds at Nissan and go look for a job during the day, since it’s about an hour’s drive each way to the Nissan plant, and by the time I got home, I was dead tired. (Came close to nodding off at the wheel a couple of mornings.)

On Wednesday, the temp agency calls and says that they’re going to need me back at Nissan. At lower pay, since it’s just going to be me working and not Joe and I. Since some money is better than no money, I agree. When I get to Nissan, SamGump is there and explains to me that he’s going to need me on Thursday and possibly Sunday, but that’s going to be it, he’s positive. He also tells me that Joe got a real job. That night, I have almost nothing to do. Only one of the racks is messed up, and once the last possible racks get set out for the night turn out to be okay, I pack it in and head home.

Thursday, SamGump tells me that he’s going to need me on Sunday, but that’s it. He’s certain of the fact. I, of course, have nothing to do while I’m at work. All the racks are fine, and I try to keep myself occupied by helping the DEF folks with their job. That way I have something to do, and the DEF folks don’t have to deal with a bored asshole all night long. Again, I bail as soon as I’m certain that there’s no danger they’re going to get a rack with messed up foam. (I have managed to do a little job searching in the daytime, but so far haven’t had any luck in landing a job.)

Sunday night, it get’s about time for me to leave and I’m thinking that I really don’t want to drive all that way just to twiddle my thumbs all night long. So I call SamGump on his cellphone to see if he needs me to show up or not. He doesn’t answer, so I leave him a message saying that I’m heading out, and telling him that I didn’t run into any problems the night before. I then think, “Fuck it. I’m not going. There’s going to be nothing for me to do, and I can sleep tonight and then get up early in the morning and go job hunting.” So that’s what I do.

Monday, I go apply for a job at an engine rebuilders, the first interview goes well, and they ask me to come back Tuesday morning for a second interview. Great! I think. Later on that day, SamGump calls me up to ask how thing’s went that night. I decide to try and bluff him and tell him that everything went fine (technically correct, since I didn’t have any problems sleeping). He thinks that’s great, and tells me that he’s going to need me to work that night as well. I explain to him that I can’t since I’ve got an early morning job interview. He asks me if I called the lady at the temp agency and told her that. I say, I didn’t because he’d said that he wasn’t going to need me after Sunday. He mutters something about it being now too late to call the temp agency and hangs up.

I go to the interview on Tuesday morning, and everything seems to go well, until the end, when they tell me they’re going to keep looking. Damn it. On my way home, my cellphone rings and it’s the lady from the temp agency asking me why I didn’t go to work the night before. So I explain the situation to her, and judging from her reaction, she finds SamGump to be as big an idiot as I do. She asks me if I’m available to work at Nissan that night. Since the interview went to hell, I’m of course free. In my explanation of what happened with me not going to work on Monday, I tell her that I honestly can’t see why they need me, but if they’re going to pay me money to sit on my butt, then I’ll just have to take it. She seemed to find that funny. I try to get some sleep before I go in, but I’m not able to, so I go in, and put in half a night’s work. SamGump calls me this morning and asks me how thing’s went last night. I tell him that I didn’t find any problems at all. He says that’s what he figured and tells me they’re not going to need me any more. Ah, well. Just have to hope that I find some idiot soon that needs my help.

Glad to see you’re back at it anyway. I’ve done crappy temp work myself.

Just hang in there and I’m sure someone will pick you up.

I swear, if a person is so incompetent that even a job at McDonald’s is too much to handle, they can rest assured they’ll be able to work in the office of a temp agency so as to really screw things up.

Congrats on getting something you enjoy doing, no matter how long it lasts, but pity you have to deal with those people at the agency.

I assume you’ve seen “The Shawshank Redemption” - if you really want to work at Nissan, I suggest you make it your life’s mission. A resume a day, until they call you and tell you not to send resumes anymore. Then send themtwo a day. :smiley:

(I’m back temping again, too - I started at the City of Calgary today. It just amazes me how the biggest bunch of whiny complainers is always the unionized folk with the best, cushiest, highest-paying jobs. They seriously need to get some perspective.)

Brilliant! Next time I’m looking for work, I’m gonna try that!

I guess I missed the thread where you lost your old employment… sorry to hear it. I hope you’re off to greener pastures, though. Good luck getting your foot in the door!

Tuckerfan, I have never been to the Smyrna plant, but you have described automotive work at its best. I have had to go in for complaints at several plants. Everyone is in a panic and noone knows what the Hell is going on.

At Corvette, in BG Kentucky, I got to watch a woman take a nap in the Vette while the line was down. We make the gasket around the headlamp and it wasn’t fitting properly. So we were all in a dither and there she was…snoozing away.

I would try like Hell to get a job there, Japanese OEM’s are good places to work.

Also, if you go back to Nissan Smyrna, take a look at the rear window in the Pathfinder. On the Center High Mount Stop Lamp (CHMSL) there is a rubber gasket that encloses the lamp and seals to the window. I helped in the design on that :slight_smile: (Well ok, I told the engineer that my plant couldn’t make the part, but our sister plant could, I was a big help!)

[hijack]What agency are you with? I’m looking for work and the place I got a card for didn’t explain anything and their website is shit so I wanted to look for a different one.[/hijack]

Tuckerfan good luck on the job hunt.

Tucker fan, actually the way the unemployment works in TN is if you make $68 in a week it doesn’t affect your benefits if you make $69 you would get $1 less than your total benefit or $1 less than next to nothing. So if your benefit for the week is $275/week and you make $169 dollars at such a job you should still receive benefits that week of $175. Also, another suggestion is check out if Nashvilel has a career centeras part of TN dept of Employment security. We have one in Memphis that had several seminars that I found to be very helpful when the company I worked for went bankrupt a few years ago. You may be eligible for retraining where they will pay for you to go to school to learn a new trade. I was skeptical that I would benefit from the time spent but I really did.

I keep ending up back at Diversified. I guess as agencies go, they’re no better or worse than any others.

I’ll check them out. Thanks.

Hmm, the way I read the paperwork, if you made anything over $68 you were SOL, but maybe I misread it.

And I’ve been to the local career center, and they’re not much help at all. There’s plenty of people there, working, but you don’t get to talk to them, for the most part. They either want you to do things by computer or via the automated phone system. I guess it’s all part of the budget problems the state’s having.

Maybe they have the best, cushiest, highest-paying jobs because they’re whiny complainers? :stuck_out_tongue:

I hate it when my asshole gets bored.

eat more fiber?

GD&R

Well, that’s what worked for me. :smiley:

:smack: THAT’S what I’m doing wrong - not whining and complaining enough. Silly me.