-> Toby Keith - ‘Courtesy Of The Red, White and Blue’
-> Budget Girls - ‘We’re Tight’
and, by a neck the dubious honour of worst song I’ve ever heard:
-> Doctor Orange - ‘Taco Taco Taco’
Admittedly, the first and third ones I downloaded after hearing how bad they were. The second one as on a lo-fi punk compilation. The singer can’t and it has an entire verse about needing to “take a great big crap”. Doctor Orange seemed to make his lyrics up as he went along–he stops and says “Oh crap” at one point, but the lyrical lowlight: “I eat tacos because I’m stupid and I, I like them”.
I can’t remember the name of the song, but the band was called The High Lows.* Their name was quit apt, as the entirety of the song seemed to be the main singer going from a bass “buuuh” to shrill yells “waaaaaah” for three minutes. If there was anything more to the song in terms of something like music, it escaped me.
Of course it was in the top five for a couple of weeks.
Loving you by Minnie Ripperton. My flesh crawls when I here it.
Happiest girl in the whole USA by Donna Fargo. Puke, puke, puke…
Muskrat Love by the Carpenters. I HATE every song every done by them but this bit of drivel is the worst. Muskrats don’t make squeaky noises when they screw, they shreak and make a bunch of noise.
We Are Family and I don’t know or care who did it. We are not family, we are running away screaming when that crap is played. I left a Seattle Sonics game in the 2nd quarter after they played that shit for the third God damned time in 15 minutes.
Brand New Key by Melanie. Hey Cindy, (my younger sister that bought the 45 years ago) yeah, I broke your freeking record. Too damned bad. I don’t feel sorry for it either.
And I would like to add every rap song every recorded. Rap is not music, it is crap. It makes my ears bleed. And anything by KC and the Sunshine Band. Pile of dog poop. And the Village People? I would rather get a root canal. And that twingy twanging country music. Ughh. Shania Twain looks hot but her music S.U.C.K.S.
I would rather listen to Lawrence Welk. I could go on, everyone from the Jackson 5 to Brittany Spears. Needless to say my music tastes follow a very narrow path but I am passionate about the music I do like.
My answer has the disadvantage that the song in question has (hopefully) never been recorded.
A few months back, I heard a singer perform one of her own compositions at an open mic event in Camden in north London. A composition she’d written on the bus to the pub. About writing a song on the bus to the pub where she would sing it.
Opinion was strongly divided amongst the listeners as to whether she was merely a spoof act or whether she was blithely unaware of how bad she was. I’ve since heard that the management took the latter view and has banned her from ever appearing again, even on similar occasions, on the grounds that she was so terrible.
It was so bad that it’s unavailability ought not to be taken as a disadvantage.