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#1
10-16-2006, 01:11 PM
 crazyjoe Guest Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Farmington, MI Posts: 3,088
Funny mathematical joke about "giving 110%"

I got this from my dad, who probably passed it on from someone else, but it's funny, and apt.

This equation should be taught in all math [and business] classes!

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L- S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top!
#2
10-16-2006, 01:16 PM
 Derleth Guest Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Missoula, Montana, USA Posts: 20,041
That's a good one.
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#3
10-16-2006, 01:31 PM
 AskNott Charter Member Join Date: Mar 1999 Location: Anderson, IN,USA Posts: 14,634
My Christian sister-in-law sent me nearly the same thing in email. However, the punch line was LOVE OF GOD = 101%.

I wonder how many versions are floating around in the webby cosmos.
#4
10-16-2006, 02:26 PM
 tdn Guest Join Date: Feb 2000 Posts: 35,871
Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%.
#5
10-16-2006, 02:30 PM
 Giles Charter Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Newcastle NSW Posts: 12,854
Quote:
 Originally Posted by tdn Ah, but BILL GATES III = 666%.
In which version of Excel?

But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
#6
10-16-2006, 02:50 PM
 Onomatopoeia Guest Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: 小浜国 Posts: 6,452
Quote:
 Originally Posted by Giles But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
yeah, but if you're giving 'your all' you're giving 104%, so you're actually giving more than you thought had in you.
#7
10-16-2006, 03:10 PM
 Telemark Charter Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: Again, Titletown Posts: 20,431
Quote:
 Originally Posted by Giles In which version of Excel? But what I like is that ALL = 1+12+12 =25%. So, if you're giving ALL, you're giving just 25%.
But you don't give "ALL", you give "YOUR ALL" - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104%
#8
10-16-2006, 03:41 PM
 Blaster Master Guest Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Centreville, VA Posts: 6,127
This is an old e-mail I'd seen floating around before... I swear I remember it had more to it...
Quote:
 Originally Posted by Telemark But you don't give "ALL", you give "YOUR ALL" - 25+15+21+18+1+12+12 = 104%
I don't know about you all, but I don't give "YOUR ALL", I give "MY ALL". Unfortunately, that's only: 13 + 24 + 1 + 12 + 12 = 62%. I guess YOUR ALL is better than MY ALL. Hmm... now I'm confused.
#9
10-16-2006, 04:05 PM
 TJdude825 Guest Join Date: Feb 2000 Location: California Posts: 2,505
There's another one that starts from basic equations:

knowledge = power (schoolhouse rock)
power = work/time (physics)
time = money (just generally known to be true)

You can work out the algebra, but basically, those who get paid the most are the ones who know a lot of stuff, but do almost no work, or something like that.
#10
10-16-2006, 04:08 PM
 The Controvert Guest Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 3,757
Quote:
 Originally Posted by Blaster Master Hmm... now I'm confused.
#11
10-16-2006, 04:39 PM
 Mindfield Guest Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Overworked Posts: 6,125
Quote:
 Originally Posted by The Controvert You think your confused? Turns out HEAD only gives 18%.
Yes, but BLOW JOB gives you 79%. If you really want to earn "brownie" points though, you have to give a TOSSED SALAD. 119% baby.
#12
10-16-2006, 05:45 PM
 js_africanus Guest Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Small City, Michigan Posts: 5,162
Actually, it's a lesson about literacy: sesquipedalian gives 152%. It pays to use long words.

Also, I think it's funny that GIVING YOUR ALL will score lower than GIVING YOUR ASS.
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#13
10-16-2006, 06:51 PM
 Hal Briston Charter Member Charter Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: A nice chunk o' NJ Posts: 14,187
Well, heck with it then...if I put NOTHING in at work, I'm still giving 87%.
#14
10-16-2006, 09:18 PM
 Little Nemo Charter Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Western New York Posts: 75,580
I can work HALF A DAY and I'm giving them 58%. I slow down after lunch.
#15
10-16-2006, 09:50 PM
 Shagnasty Charter Member Join Date: May 2000 Posts: 27,230
The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that?
#16
10-17-2006, 12:25 AM
 Snarky_Kong Guest Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 7,377
So if I'm taking a nap and catching some ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz, I'm probably doing alright.
#17
10-18-2006, 02:25 PM
 Little Nemo Charter Member Join Date: Dec 1999 Location: Western New York Posts: 75,580
Quote:
 The Space Shuttle spools its engines up to 104% during launch. If it blows up, at least we know it was trying really, really hard. Maybe that is even why it blew up. You can get injured through overexertion. I wonder if NASA ever thought about that?
How exactly do they do that? Figure out the maximum thrust that the engines can produce and then make them to produce four percent more? Turn it up to eleven?

Presumably what NASA does is test its shuttle by running it at 104% of the power they expect to use during a mission. But for all we know, the engines are capable of 120% of normal mission power and the test is no strain.

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