50 Ways to Pardon Scooter

The BBQ Pit
1

The problem is all inside your head, said Dick Cheney
The answer is easy if you think imperiously
I can’t afford to have him talking about me
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter

Dick said, It has become my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
So I’ll repeat myself, since I’m talking to a boob
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter

Fifty ways to pardon Scooter

Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free

Don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free

don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Dick said, It grieves me so think I’ll be in pain
You know there is something you could do to make me smile again
geirge said, I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

Dick said, Why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
We’ll act on it tomorrow when the news cycle is right
No one cares about due process when the fireworks are bright
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter

Fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free

don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Happy Independence Day, everyone.

2

Oop - a couple of typos in the 3rd stanza. Shoudl be:

Dick said, It grieves me so to think I’ll be in pain
You know, there is something you could do to make me smile again
George said, I appreciate that, and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

3

Nice, but do we REALLY need THREE threads on the same topic?

Or did you make this new thread because you couldn’t decide which of the two still-open threads to put it in? :slight_smile:

4

It’s cute, but why is it in the pit?

5

That is certainly deserving of its own thread!

I wonder if Leaper and appleciders are familiar with the original.

6

It is in the PIT because that is where things should be posted that intend insult. It is in it’s own thread because it is nto a continuation of anyone else’s argument (in fact it is no argument at all) and had a chance to derail someone else’s thread had I placed it there. And if there actually are 2 other threads using whimsical song parody to address the onging hypocrisy of powerful men, well I must have missed them. Please provide links.

Or not. Frankly, I don’t really give a damn.

7

Hey, I liked it.

8

This is the only line I could come up with to contribute:

You can unclench your butt, mutt

9

You’ll be a Fox commentator, Tater.

10

Brilliant! I think this ranks with the best of the SDMB song parodies. Bonus points for rhyming George with discharge. :smiley:

11

Let’s give him a pass, Ass
He should never do time, Slime
Forget about the stir, Cur,
Just keep Scooter free–

Ya just gotta to stay cool, Fool
Ya don’t have to have guts, Putz
Scooter won’t drop the soap, Dope,
'Cause he won’t rat on me.

12

Welcome back, Spiritus! Where the devil have you been hiding yourself?

And great song parody, btw.

–RTF, posting from rainy Florida

13

I certainly liked it!!

14

Well, any number of factors have been competing for my time (new job, relocation, ill parents, infant son, etc.) but really I found that my enjoyment::frustration ratio for message board exchanges was tilting heavily in the wrong direction so I took a break for a bit and found other uses for my free time. Started to feel the itch again, though, and when the combination of watching Lyle Lovett at Paul Simon’s Gershwin Award ceremony and endless barrage of Scooter Libby news stuck this song in my head at 1:00 in the morning, I figured this was the right place to post it.

It is nice to see that some of the old guard are still active, though. I hope life has been treating you well.

15

Just chomp on my dick, Dick
Yeah, suck on my dick, Dick
Gobble the monster, Dick
Just suck on my dick!

OK, its not real clever. Kinda redundant. All right, very redundant. But sincere.

16

Brilliant! I could hardly breathe from laughing.

17

From another fellow rainy Floridian, I applaud you.

18

Keep your day job.

19

It lacks the obligatory fuck.

Other than that, it has a good beat and I can dance to it. I’ll give it an 85.

20

Excellent!