The problem is all inside your head, said Dick Cheney
The answer is easy if you think imperiously
I can’t afford to have him talking about me
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Dick said, It has become my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won’t be lost or misconstrued
So I’ll repeat myself, since I’m talking to a boob
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free
Don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free
don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Dick said, It grieves me so think I’ll be in pain
You know there is something you could do to make me smile again
geirge said, I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways
Dick said, Why don’t we both just sleep on it tonight
We’ll act on it tomorrow when the news cycle is right
No one cares about due process when the fireworks are bright
There must be fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Fifty ways to pardon Scooter
Just take it all back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need a discharge, George
Just set the man free
don’t talk to Justice
You don’t need to discuss this
Just commute the hard time
And let him Scoot free
Happy Independence Day, everyone.