No, it’s not a medical condition. It’s a kind of fruit.
I’ve wanted to try these for a long time, but never enjoyed the opportunity - until I visited an eco-themed attraction last week, where they had a deal to PYO fruit from their orchard, which happened to contain a medlar tree in heavy fruit.
Now I just have to wait for them to start rotting, so I can eat them. 
eeeew. they look gross AND you eat them rotten.
Medlars?
Red Slam?
Ram Sled?
Mrs. Deal?
DLM Arse? DLM = Del Monte Foods Co.
There is a Breton proverb that goes “With time and straw, the medlars ripen,” meaning “be patient.” I don’t remember the Breton… “Gant plouz hag amzer e tarev ar mesper” or something like that. It means, essentially, “good things come to those who wait.”
ETA1: They used to cover them in straw to rot / ripen.
ETA2: Found part of the proverb in google, I think it’s right now.
This may be the first time I’ve encountered the word “medlar” outside of the shepherds’ chorus in Amahl and the Night Visitors.
I saw a recipe for medlar wine once. Think I still have the book. 
I’m probably the only person on the Dope that actually thought it was a disease. I was hoping it wasn’t something you ate that caused the problem…
BTW, one of the common names for the fruit is dog’s arse (because of the puckered appearance of the blossom end, not the flavour, I’m sure)
Apparently they make a very nice quince.
Please explain. To me a quinceis a fruit (or the plant that bears the fruit).
I’m jealous – always wanted to try one…
I will be sure to report on the experience…
I see why Mercutio calls them “open-arses.”
I didn’t have to wait as long as I expected. A couple of them ripened this week - changing from hard, golden russet to wrinkled purple-brown and soft to the touch.
I sliced them open - the flesh inside was a sort of tawny-brown paste containing five hard seeds. The flavour is like a combination of apple, pear and some sort of dried fruit like dates or figs. The texture is finely grainy and fairly dry - quite nice just eaten with a spoon, but they’re quite rich - I can’t imagine eating more than one at a sitting.
They’re not pretty, but they’re alright, and it was well worth trying. Here’s a picture of the ripe, opened fruit:
Neat! I love archaic plants. Or more like ‘forgotten’ plants. Those flavours sound perfect for autumn as well.
When I saw the subject line I thought you meant MEDLARS and wondered how you could say you have it.
Well, he could have a computerized biomedical bibliographic retrieval system. That’s something to be proud of, I guess. I also thought you had a disease. Or possibly meddlers and you didn’t know how to spell it. The wiki says you can freeze them instead of waiting for them to rot too. Freezing bursts the cell walls and makes fruit really soft when it thaws.
I have a whole basket full of them, so I’ll try that.
I have never heard of these… when I saw the thread title, I thought it was one of those archaic disease names that are also used as normal words, like ‘shingles’.
Learned a new word, I did…Bletting.