If all you want to do is get drunk quickly, your Messiah is here: Colt 45 Blast. 12% alcohol (FYI regular beer has between 4-5%) First I tried The Blueberry/Pomegranate flavor:
Pours an electric blue like Smurf cum. The aroma is it’s only weakness. It smells a bit like puke. No head. VERY low carbonation. This goes down super smooth, like freaking Kool-Aid I kid you not. It is a FANTASTIC alcohol delivery system. I paid $1.79 for a 24 ounce can @ Woodmans. 1 can is the alcohol equal to 5 regular beers. Where are you getting 5 beers for under 2 bucks? You can easily slam 2 cans of this in under 5 minutes! This will FUCK-YOU-UP something fierce! Why didn’t they make shit like this when I was in college?
Next I tried the Raspberry/Watermelon flavor. It looks like kool Aid. It smells like Kool-Aid. It tastes like Kool-Aid. It has almost no carbonation like Kool-Aid. It has no characteristics of malt liquor in the least. it has a very pleasant fruit flavor.
Aahh, I’ve done it. Along with a certain tea made out of something illegal. Quite interesting results, including getting married in the church of peyote and winding up in the middle of nowhere with a psycho and having to walk several miles to call my aunt and uncle to release me from the psycho.
It will be a cold day in Hell before I ever look at that stuff again.
Never heard of this stuff. For a quick, cheap drunk I get Steel Reserve. 8.1% alcohol and just $1.29 per 24 oz. can. A lot of people think it tastes nasty, but after a couple of swallows I stop noticing, or perhaps caring, about the taste. I don’t know about flavored malt beverages though, I would probably get sick of the taste after half a can.
Your Blast costs $1.79 per 24 ounces at 12% alcohol. That means it costs $0.64 per ounce of alcohol.
Now, assuming that the vodka is 80 proof Finlandia, costing $20 per 34 ounces, plus $4 for decent OJ, that gives you $1.75 per ounce of alcohol. However, crappy vodka (the equivalent of Blast in terms of quality) and artificial OJ would total roughly $6 for the same volume, meaning that it would cost one quarter the price of the Finlandia - $0.44 per ounce, roughly 2/3 the price of the Blast.
(It’s been a while since I’ve done any sort of math, so feel free to check my calculations. Prices are from cursory Google searches).
I thought the bigger problem with Four Loko was that it also had caffeine (well, in addition to having high alcohol content, cheap, enough sugar to drown out all the booze, packaged to look like soda/energy drink, and the case that stores had them in always seemed to be the case between the beer and energy drinks, etc…)
Of course, this stuff satisfies all those other qualities…but no caffeine!
