The quick back story: divorced female; small, remote town far from siblings; empty nester. It’s also my first birthday since my mom died last winter; she always called on my birthday and reminisced about the day I was born. My friends usually get together when one of us has a birthday, but they forgot mine this year–everyone’s busy. I’m not taking it personally. My birthday is Tuesday, and I’ll be working that day, then working out. Then what? I’m not someone who feels comfortable eating out alone–especially, for some reason, on my birthday. There’s no place around here to volunteer my time on a Tuesday evening, and I don’t know any shut-ins I could visit.
What are some fun things I could do on my own that night? I want to keep busy enough so I’m not focusing on my mom’s absence or just being pathetic. (You know, playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey and yelling, “Hey, I won!” or wearing a birthday hat and singing, “Happy Birthday to me.”) All suggestions welcome.
I’ve spent nearly every birthday since my 18th alone, because I don’t have many friends, and I don’t like to tell people my birthday is coming up and obligate them to do something about it. I also am not the type to throw my own birthday party.
I like to get a cookie cake and do whatever I want. Which is pretty similar to every other non-birth day, except for the cookie cake to make it a little special.
I treat myself to an indulgent meal (either cooked at home or ordered for take out). I eat at home and have a nice bottle of champange on hand. Candles too.
Call in sick at work, and do something you wouldn’t usually do. Go see a play or a concert. Go for a drive to some local point of interest (museum, monument, national park). Climb a mountain or hill in your neighborhood and see the world from the top. Think of what your favorite meal is and make it for yourself at home (if you’ve never made it before, learn how to make it.)
Love these suggestions, but I live in a small town–one museum only (I have it memorized), no plays or concerts, not even a shopping mall. I do love to hike mountains but out here, only idiots hike alone–bears and mountain lions abound. If I had someone to go with, I’d do it in a heartbeat–though I love my job and hate to miss a day. It’s the part of my birthday I’m looking forward to, actually.
Carve into two separate candles symbols for: all the things that you’d like to have, achieve and feel in the following year; and all the things you’re grateful for - including all that make you the fabulous person you are. If you know what time you were born, light them then.
Light them every day until they’ve completely burned out.
Spend the day being aware of the beauty in things. Something delightfully surprising will happen that will make you laugh out loud, and it will be a great day.
This year, my mom ended up spending her birthday on her own. She spent the day getting her hair done, a facial, nails…and tattoo. A pretty little star on her foot.
Yep, either cook a nice meal or get something you like take-out. I would either buy a new book to read, some yarn to knit myself something nice, or rent a movie that I’ve been meaning to see.
I’m quite a homebody so being alone that way wouldn’t bother me much but I would do something that I enjoyed. (As opposed to a) nothing, or b) chores like cleaning the toilet or something).
It’s been years since I’ve had to celebrate a birthday alone. But from what I remember, I treated myself to a special meal and then went to a bar that would give you a free pitcher of beer if it was your birthday.
Or was that volunteering to serve soup for hobos? I can never remember.
I live in Philadelphia. My family lives in Florida. My friends have become too scattered to gather together. So, every January twenty second I put on my Cthulhu helmet and walk to the local convenience store to buy some junk food. I’ve been doing this for a few years now. I never explain why I’m wearing the helmet, or what it is. So far, only one person has bothered to ask. The employees at the store treat me just like any other customer.
This might sound dorky as all get-out, but if you have a Facebook account, I think it’s wildly underrated how pleasing it is that so many “friends” wish you a happy birthday. You can always reply back and maybe you won’t feel quite so alone.
I was in Paris watching a fireworks show at the Eiffel Tower on my birthday (which is Bastille Day) and I swear I got more fulfillment out of the Facebook wishes.
Wow, I’m feeling dorkier and dorkier as I write this!
When I spend my birthday or a holiday alone for whatever reason, I generally make something nice for dinner and create a little film festival of a bunch of my favorite movies.
You spend that birthday like a man! Er, woman! I hate birthdays in general – mostly mine but I tolerate others politely and with good cheer – but friends or family always want to do something, so I say, “no, no, no.” Have a nice quiet night in, maybe go for a walk or to a zoo, watch some movie you always wanted to watch, maybe open up some top-shelf hooch and get maudlin if that’s your thing. Write a letter to somebody you’ve wanted to write for a while but never got around to it. I like buying yourself something nice – doesn’t have to be fancy. Just something you normally wouldn’t get yourself. Also, call some of your peeps on the phone.
Or go out to a nice restaurant solo – some kind of food you haven’t tried before. Or go to a movie in a theater by yourself. Something must make you happy on some level! Find out what that is and go do it!
I would, arrange to pick up something yummy from a restaurant, on the way home from the gym, pick up some fancy mags I don’t usually buy, rent a couple of lighthearted movies to maybe watch, have a long hot shower and put on my, somewhat expensive ish, new pajamas. Have my favorite sweets and crisps on hand for movie snacking. Just shop up the pj’s and snacks ahead of time, fresh flowers and beverage of choice would round the whole thing off nicely, to my mind.
