Waitaminit, it's a Mockbuster! Curse you, Asylum, you fooled me again!

Cafe Society
1

I was at the gym, enjoying the dual pleasures of exercise and entertainment in the cardio-theater, a place where I often get to see (parts of) movies that I might not otherwise have sufficient motivation to seek out.

They were showing Green Lantern starring Ryan Reynolds. But I had to go before it ended and later I thought I might like to watch the rest of it. So I went on Netflix but couldn’t track it down. I thought, okay, why not try another superhero movie that I haven’t seen yet?

Tried searching for a few titles, nothing. Then I remembered that there was recently a Thor movie, so I did a search, and there it was, so I started it up.

Only minutes in, I was aghast. What is this nonsense? It was laughable. The acting was out of a 1970s porno. I nearly came onto the SDMB to post a “Thor movie: Are you fucking kidding me with this shit?” thread.

But then, I thought, Hm, not, Marvel can’t possibly be this crazy, so I did some searching, and, sure enough, I was watching not Thor (2011), directed by Kenneth Branagh and starring Natalie Portman, Anthony Hopkins, and Stellan Skarsgård, but instead the made-for-television mockbuster Almighty Thor (2011), starring Richard Grieco as Loki. (Richard Grieco, when did you become such a bad actor?)

Ya got me, Asylum! Ya got me good!

And, you know, this is the second time in a span of several months that I’ve been had by the Asylum.

A few months ago, my friends were talking about going to see an alien invasion movie, Battle of Los Angeles, and one Sunday I was flipping channels and came across it. Hm, isn’t this out in the theaters now? Oh, well, maybe it’s one of these new business models and they’re trying to release it in theaters and on television at the same time.

Watched a bit of it. Awful. Saw my friends. “Yeah, I saw that movie you were talking about. Terrible!” What? Wait, I saw not Battle: Los Angeles starring Aaron Eckhart, but rather Battle of Los Angeles starring Nia Peeples. Nia Fucking Peeples!

Got me again, Asylum!

2

Couldn’t be any worse than the version of Thor in that one Incredible Hulk TV movie, could it? Could it? Please tell me it couldn’t. Oh damn… Asylum… it could be worse, it really could.

3

Looked at the Wikipedia link in the OP. Wow, they’re not trying very hard to conceal their ripping off. Among the titles, “Snakes on a Train,” “Transmorphers” and “Sunday School Musical.”

4

Their entire ‘thing’ is creating ‘mockbusters’ - movies specifically designed to ride on the coat-tails of bigger flicks, or even trick people into grabbing them thinking they’re the blockbuster. Hiding the ‘rip-off’ (though the connection between the mockbuster and blockbuster are generally pretty tenuous) would be counter-productive.

5

Ah, Asylum – they are tinkers aren’t they? Rapscallions, even.

And yet you can’t help admiring their gall.

6

I see another term for it is “knockbuster,” which I think more precisely identifies what the Asylum does.

7

I like to imagine there’s a whole department there devoted just to figuring how close the title can get to the original without them being sued.

8

It’s working for them, too. I watched a trailer on IMDB the other day and I still can’t tell which one of the Battleship movies it was for.

9

Well, you can’t copyright a title, so unless it’s a trademark (like Superman or Spider-Man, for instance) they could quite legally use exactly the same title as the movie they’re riding on the coat-tails of.

The fact that they don’t suggests that they have some sense of fair play – or, quite possibly, a slightly twisted sense of humour.

10

Somehow I doubt a sense of fair play has anything to do with it.

11

Bah. In many of these cases, it wouldn’t be hard to argue that the title should be considered a non-registered trademark.

12

I rather liked their “War of the Worlds.”

13

I have heard that their Sherlock Holmes was halfway decent. Both word of mouth and according to Wikipedia. Granted it might not be great, like you’d feel ripped off it you paid $9.50 in the theater, but not if you got it off Netflix. I felt similar about Postal; if I was unaware that it was an Uwe Boll film, I might consider it somewhat fun if dumb.

14

Instead of Mjollnir, Thor wields an Uzi. You tell me if that’s worse.

15

Just my opinion, but the actual Thor movie kinda sucks too.

16

I’d never heard of this before, but after reading this thread I was delighted to find some The Asylum titles on Netflix streaming. I’ve watched the first half of War of the Worlds and enjoyed it so far (though yes in a campy way, including the gratuitous but pleasant nudity).

And certainly it’s intended to be a little campy, yes? When a women says a meteorite “smells like ass”, there’s got to be somebody smirking in the background somewhere.

17

Is that a T-Rex I saw on the cover for Sherlock Holmes?

18

Definitely campy. The Thor dialogue was making me laugh out loud. I didn’t get ti the Uzi because I stopped watching at the point he appeared in the present.

(Nitpick: “some Asylum titles” – the article at the beginning of a proper name is dropped when there’s another adjective or when it is otherwise unidiomatic–“a Times reporter” not “a The Times reporter”)

19

Yes, yes it is. There’s also what look like a dragon and some kind of giant octopus. I haven’t seen this one, but I really, really want to. I’ve heard that the ending involvesHolmes in a hot air balloon fighting his brother’s giant mechanical dragon while Watson rushes to stop an android suicide bomber from destroying Buckingham Palace.

20

Obligatory Uwe Boll joke, which becomes a brick joke 13 strips later.