Hi today I was showing my 5 year old niece Barbie and she was touching my hairy legs a few times. I eventually just got up and said she can sit out the chair and I found another chair. BTW at her house she is sometimes walking around naked. My wife said that she went around naked at least until she was 8 years old or so. Any thoughts?
Just ask her not to do it? 5 is old enough to be able to follow simple instructions. Next time it happens just say something like “Please don’t touch my legs, I don’t like it.” And if she keeps it up just reiterate and if she refuses to listen, do as you did and leave the situation. I’m not sure what her being naked has to do with your legs though. She’s probably just curious about the hairy legs and, as young children are apt to do, is investigating them by touching.
I’m not understanding why this is an issue. Curious kids fondle and touch all kinds of inappropriate things. You simply need to tell her to stop because you don’t like it or whatever wish to get her to stop.
Her wandering around her naked at 5 is a completely separate issue. It is on the edge of inappropriate with respect to current western social mores, but possibly the parents are comfortable with causal nudity in kids around the house. Naked till 8 is pressing the envelope pretty hard.
You seem to want to tie these incidents together for some reason. Why?
In both situations I feel like a border-line pedophile…
Shave your legs. Problem solved!
On a more serious note, if you feel almost like a pedophile just because SHE is touching YOUR legs, (which I think is what you meant), I would suggest that you consider seeing a psychiatrist. Such a feeling is most emphatically not normal.
Because she’s touching your legs..? I don’t get it. I mean, little kids touch me in inappropriate places on occasion and I just feel a bit of embarrassment. I myself haven’t done anything inappropriate and they’re usually too young to know any better. I’ve had to have talks with my 4 year old daughter about not using my breasts as drums. Kids don’t know about private areas and personal space until they’re taught it. Just do as has been suggested and ask her to stop, explaining that you don’t like being touched there.
As for the nudity part, I agree that 5 is really pushing it but is she nude when you’re around? If so I can definitely understand feeling uncomfortable but again…I find the comparison to a pedophile to be…odd. If she is nude around you, then you need to talk to her parents and let them know you’re not comfortable with it.
In this social climate, I’d say it’s at least a little disingenuous to pretend not to know why a (childless?) man might be uncomfortable around a naked five-year-old niece who’s in the habit of touching his bare legs. JohnClay, I think it’s perfectly understandable that this makes you feel uneasy, but none of it sounds like abnormal behavior in any way, either on her part or on yours.
I’ll give you the same advice I gave my own brother and brother-in-law, neither of whom had children and both of whom my two girls adored: if something the child is doing makes you uncomfortable, just tell her directly what it is you do or don’t want her to do. It’s okay, and you don’t have to be tactful or delicate about it, as long as you keep in mind that you’re talking to a five-year-old. You’re helping her learn social boundaries.
“Hey, Susie, please don’t touch my legs like that.”
“Wow, kiddo, I’d like you to put on some clothes when I come over!”
When she inevitably asks why, just tell her that’s how you feel. “I don’t like having my bare legs touched by anyone but Aunt Emma” or “It makes me more comfortable when the people I’m visiting are wearing clothes” are perfectly fine answers.
You might express your concerns to your niece’s mom, too, especially about the naked thing. Even though there’s nothing wrong with the child’s behavior, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, it’s perfectly all right for you to set boundaries. You want to be able to enjoy your time with your niece, and that’s not possible if you’re worrying about whether you look like a child molester.
Hint: You would only be a pedophile if you were the one trying touch her and not the other way around.
I am a single father of a 10 year old and 6 year old daughters. Little kids do that stuff just because they are curious. There is nothing sexual about it and I think it is inappropriate to impose your adult views on the way they see the world unless you have some reason to believe someone is going to accuse of something terrible.
My 6 year old wants me to climb into bed with her every night and read her a fairy tale to put her to sleep and I do. My 10 year old once asked for that as well but she is too old for it now.
You just have to judge what is age appropriate and five is fine for a child being curious about why your legs are hairy and other people’s aren’t.
Because you get aroused? 
:(You should have climbed in her bed and read her a a story, It makes me sad to think pedomania has parents afraid to be in the same bed as their kids.
This is what I was thinking.
I think he meant that there was a time when his 10 year old asked him to do this (when she was a 5 or 6 year old), but now she doesn’t because she’s too old and doesn’t feel comfortable withing having Daddy climb into bed and read to her anymore.
He did not say she’s naked in his presence while touching his legs, only that she touched his legs and (as a separate point) sometimes walks around her house naked.
kids running around naked is not unusual. You yell “nudy butt” loud enough and their parents run them down.
As for the leg thing, I use to pull the hairs out of my uncles arm. It wasn’t sexual or anything. He had hairy arms. he would say “ouch” in an exaggerated way and I laughed. If it annoyed him my mother would have found something for me to do to occupy my time. My nephew did the same thing to me when he was a toddler. He pulled on my leg hairs. I’ve had my scalp hair and ears and nose pulled on by a variety of toddlers. It’s what they do.
No I don’t think JohnClay has to see a psychiatrist. Society and media have gone overboard on pedophilia. It does exist and it’s horrible but it’s only a small segment of the population that are pedophiles, constant barrage of this affects some people and they react accordingly in order not to be even considered a threat to children. Defensive measure.
Maybe try wearing some pants?
And it’s only a smaller percentage of pedophiles who actually act on their urges.
But, it seems pretty clear to me that the OP has some issues if he is immediately linking his niece touching his leg, and seeing his niece nude, to feeling like a pedophile. I am thinking that most people would not feel like a pedophile if those things happened to them.
Having said that, even if he feels that way, it doesn’t mean he’s a pedophile, and even if he is a pedophile, it doesn’t mean he’d ever act on his feelings/urges.
Either way, only JohnClay knows if he needs to see a psychologist and it’s a little silly for us to be suggesting he go see one.
There we go. Problem solved!
I disagree. Kids talk, and eventually the OP’s wife is gonna hear and be pissed about him and Aunt Emma.
But yeah, put on some damn pants.
FWIW, my daughter is 5. She loooooves taking her clothes off and running around naked, and she’s autistic so she doesn’t really understand that she’s too old to be running around in her birthday suit.
I instituted the “minimum baby uniform” rule for my house. She has to have at least a top and underwear. Pants are optional, as long as she is indoors.
And yes, naked children running around is creepy and gross. When she was 1 year old it was cute, but that stage has passed.
I would look into the link of physical touch to sexuality as you view it. You may have a strong link in your mind that such touch should only be in a sexual context. So when she does it it triggers that link to sexuality and you feel slightly pedophilic.