Black Helicopters

I know what some people think Black Helicopters are, but I’d like to hear an explaination from someone who isn’t convinced that the microchip the Government/Alien conspiracy implanted in his ass is making him mutilate livestock in the middle of the night.

I know they exist. I see them traveling along the coast (Calif.) all the time when I’m surfing. I also remember a TV news report a couple years ago when one was forced down (apparently by engine trouble) on the beach. The crew were wearing black flight suits with no insignia and chatted with bystanders and news crews while they worked on the problem. They were friendly and tactfully side stepped any inquiries about their military branch, unit or mission.

Who are these guys? Air Force? Marines? Delta Force? I know they must belong to the military or the FAA would nail them for not displaying their call-sign-number-whatsitz.

Um, Pappabear, I hate to tell you this but there are no mysterious fleets of Black Helicopters. We repainted them all blue so as to be able to do daytime missions.
(I would love a citation for this news report you vaguely remember. I’ve been on the fringe for years now and I have never heard of that one.)

Dr. Fidelius
Charlatan and Font of Questionable Knowledge
Associate Curator Anomalous Paleontology, Miskatonic University

I’ve heard of them, but never seen them. Supposedly they’re found along the Mexican border, so maybe they have something to do with INS. However I’m told that if you ask the government about them, you get a form letter essentially telling you to that it’s none of your damn business who they are. Not exactly the best way to placate the “fringe” groups, I’d say.


“I had a feeling that in Hell there would be mushrooms.” -The Secret of Monkey Island

Response to DrFidelius (Sorry, I’m at work and can’t seem to C&P with this browser):

Although I SPECIFICALLY remember the news report all I can remember about its source is that it was on a local LA news broadcast several years before the BHs were adopted by the Dreamlanders. This was during the Reagan years when this country had a few more secrets than it does now.
The last time I saw one was less than a year ago. Just because some wackos have created a paranormal myth around BHs doesn’t negate their existence.

did anyone consider that these choppers may be test beds for new developments out of “skunk works” or similar institution.
Just a guess…

Just because you cannot make out the insignia on an aircraft doesn’t mean there is anything clandestine about its activity. The best disguise for the gummint sooper-seekrit air force would be to look completely normal.
If there were a broadcast of a landed "Black Copter"at any time since the invention of the VCR the copies of the tape would be available at every fortean psychic faire.
I live within spitting distance of Sikorski’s. I see manny copters every week, and for most of them the insignias are unreadable because of lighting conditions.

Dr. Fidelius
Charlatan and Font of Questionable Knowledge
Associate Curator Anomalous Paleontology, Miskatonic University

I agree with the previous post in that a lot of helicopters look black but actually aren’t. I had a freaky little experience driving to work one morning - I saw something in the sky, stopped the car (rural area, no other traffic) and there were three “black” helicopters hovering in formation above the road. Since I don’t partake in any activities that government agencies, secret or otherwise, would care about, I was more curious than scared, but it was still a bit unsettling. There’s a military base about 20km south of where I live so I figure they came from there, but what they were doing hovering over a rural neighbourhood at 8 am, I don’t know. And come to think of it, 8 am in mid-November isn’t very bright, light-wise, so they could have been dark green helicopters.

Not terribly illuminating, but there you go.

No C & P

I’ve thunk fer some time that the whole “Black Helicopter” phenom was bullshit, until my brother, a fairly credible fella (to me at least, but what the hell do I know?)talked me up about them. I figure now that they’re DEA, as I’ve heard of them in rural areas (where clandestine marijuana growers like to plant their crops), and border and coastal areas (the first line of defense against smugglers).
These BHs may not even be truly “black” as Army helos in the standard olive green skin job appear “black” from even a short distance.

<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”>ExTank</FONT>
“Paranoia! Paranoia! Everbody’s comin’ to get me!”

I’m sure that if there weren’t black helicopters before, there are now.
One of the best ways to hide something is to show it to the village idiot and when he’s done telling everbody about it noone has credibility when they talk about it.


<insert witty sig here>

I was surfing a few weeks back myself and indeed saw some that were black. At least on two days I saw them. They were here for that Marine Urban Invasion of Monterey, California. Shuttling the Marines from Monterey Bay to the Naval School cuz they weren’t allowed to use the land-water things cause its a Marine [funny pun] Sactuary.

They were black. Now if they were blue, the ocean reflecting on them would show that.

So Papa you are not imagining things, oh and,
cowabunga! PS: Check www.surfline.com for some video surf video feeds.

That’s probably what the ones I saw were looking for, except since I live in Canada, it wasn’t the DEA, it would have been RCMP. However, southern Vancouver Island IS a great place to grow dope, and I’m sure there are at least a few people out my way who do so. On the other hand, it was in November, when all the marijuana would have been harvested already. So maybe it is a mystery after all…

Thanks, Handy. Leave it to another surfer to vindicate me. Your ID as Marine copters is convincing since I do seem to see them most often down near Pendelton MCB (Trestles, San Onofre, San Clemente.)

One more thing though: Is there anyone else in the LA area that remembers the news report about the black helicopter landing on the beach?

This is much more important than doing the laundry.
http://www.hightimes.com/ht/mag/9606/blackhel.html
http://thenewamerican.com/tna//1994/vo10no22.htm

I think this would be a good topic for the great unca Cecil to investigate! If he cant do it no one can!


“Boy, wouldja get a load of the cloaca on that one”? -Cecil Adams, october 8 1999

PapaBear, how exactly did you determine this?

Good God, Beatle! How deep did you have to dig to resurect this long dead thread?

android209: I think it’s a safe assumption that the US military had more secrets during the Cold War than it does now.

I tend to agree with handy that the BHs belong to the Marine Corp, but I still don’t know why they are unmarked and secret.

Good to see you, er, Ursa Major. Wink, wink.

Oh god. It’s Night of the Living Thread!

As far as the BHs go, I suspect they’re probably DEA. I’ve only heard of them being in border states, particularly along the Mexico border. OTOH, supposedly marijuana is Kentucky’s number one cash crop (illegally, of course) and we have to make due with the local sherriff’s department.

sly, PapaBear/UrsaMajor isn’t sneaking back onto the board. He boldly proclaimed (or admitted) his return a couple of days ago:
http://www.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum4/HTML/002471.html

As always, the last to know. I guess I should read MPSIMS more often, then.

It was pretty good deductive reasoning, though, was it not?