Dogs, on the whole, bark for reasons. Some breeds are mouthier than others, but they all still do it for a reason. Attention (yap yap yap), pain (yelp), territorial disputes (gruff), alerts (bark), or because they’ve been trained (woof).
Whatever their reason, they continue to bark because they get something out of it, something other than hearing themselves bark. Humans pay attention, or they ‘scare’ off ‘intruders.’ If there were no reward in barking, they wouldn’t do it.
So I put forward the considered opinion that they’d bark until they learned that it didn’t do anything. To keep them barking, you’d have to continually ‘set one off’ or otherwise reward the behavior.
And I apologize for giving a serious answer, it won’t happen again.
My position in this debate, as I have indicated above, is that Chihuahuas are a breed apart, in that they bark for no other reason than that they are Chihuahuas. They “get” nothing out of it. They bark in the way that other creatures breathe or crawl–in the way that humans blink.
Oh, this is a serious matter–it deserves serious consideration.
After discussing this matter with a friend, we have come to the conclusion that you are indeed correct. The chihuahuas would create an eternal cacophony.
Allow me to explain.
First, we considered the difficulty of calculating the inherent yappiness of such creatures. Anecdotal evidence was spotty, but completely unanimous in conclusion. The little buggers do tend to go on.
Obviating physical needs was a key element here. As they have none, we surmised that the wee beasties were indeed immortal. This must be, of course, an integral part of your argument, as otherwise you would be forced to concede the argument. Dead chihuahuas, after all, can be quiet a very long time.
Finally, we had an epiphany. You, Guizot, are in a sealed room with 100 Mexican rat-dogs for what may well be an eternity (so as to measure the results of the experiment). Considering the supernatural existence of ill-tempered, immortal lap dogs, one may also consider the reason for such nasty little noisemakers to be brought into being. Our conclusion? You have committed some horrible and dastardly crime against the universe and the result is your hypothetical imprisonment. As such, any lull or cessation of barking would provide relief to your eternal torment, and therefore be contrary to the very nature of the scenario’s existence.
Seems to me if they are essentially immortal, they will eventually achieve a rudimentary language and cease barking per se. Eventually, they will sound like news anchormen.
Well, I didn’t say it would get better.
If they don’t need to eat, sleep or urinate it stands to reason they would not bark but would communicate telepathically, probably in one of the lesser used romance languages. I’m guessing Rumantsch, but can’t really provide a cite.
Scott Adams in The Dilbert Principal referred to something as “about as useful as a truckload of Chihuahuas”, a line that I have borrowed with or without attribution many times over the years.
Well, if there were enough chihuahuas*, they would add ballast and keep a rear-wheel drive pickup from slipping in winter weather. That’s utility of a sort.
*man, you actually have to type that word, and you start thinking it’s some kind of prank on you that it even exists.
You’re flying an airplane. In the cargo hold is a treadmill, and upon it are
ten trucks in tandem, each containing 100 chihuahuas and a [hopefully large]
vial of poison gas. All the trucks move at constant velocity thanks to the
excellent rear-wheel traction imputed by the weight of the chihuahuas.
Inside two of the trucks, the chihuahuas have evolved into news anchormen
who communicate with each other telepathically.
This is the important thing right here. Who would even care about the noise? Assuming they could breed, we could quickly move to a Chihuahua-based energy system. Are the little buggers carbon neutral? What if we matched each one with a Chia Pet?