I can think of one situation where it would have been useful.
I went for a quick breakfast at a local place, and when I got there the place was almost empty. By the time I finished, there was not one available table. I tried to get my waitress’s attention, but couldn’t. I tried eye contact, I tried “excuse me”, I tried chasing her down. Nothing worked.
I finally brought my check to the host station, saying that I needed to pay and get out. The host asked me who my waitress was, and I said “the blonde one.” He argued that there were no blonde waitresses on that day. We then got into a debate about what constitutes blonde.
We finally got it sorted out, but man, that bordered on surreal.
People should just show up at restaurants with placards announcing the things they would like and not like the server to do. That really seems to be the only way that everyone who eats at any restaurant will be completely happy with their server.
I wonder if Rule 51 will tell the maitre d’ how to explain to walk-ins that there’s a four hour wait for a table because the waitstaff are under orders not to bother customers by getting their order in and making Precious Restaurateur some money.
Overall, sounds like a place I’d like to eat. There are certainly some rules on there that I wouldn’t bother with, but there are some (“don’t touch the customers”) that I heartily approve of.
Zippy’s got a point there. Nonetheless, I disagree with you, Gus. When my server is standing or walking nearby, facing in the other direction, I don’t want to loudly say, “Excuse me,” and have half the restaurant turn and look at me. I’d rather be able to say, “Excuse me, Sarah” to get her attention.
There is a way to get my attention without interrupting me. Simply come to the table and make eye contact. DON’T simply start talking over me.
I’d like to add to the list, don’t address two grown women as “girls.” This happened just the other day when I took my mother out for lunch on her 65th birthday, and from both the man who seated us and the waitress. Presumably it’s status quo there. (She chose the restaurant.) Talk about condescending.
(I’m not a fan of “no problem” either. I know it’s idiom, but it puts a bad taste in my mouth to suggest that a simple request could somehow BE a problem. “You’re welcome” is just a tad more classy, yes?)
I think you miss the point. Just because you’re paying $30 for tilapia, you don’t get the run of the house. At all caliber of restaurants I go to, I expect courteous service, but I also don’t fool myself about the realities of the business or that the $30 rents me a table for the night.
Frankly, these rules sound exactly what I would imagine a Broadway producer qua dilettante restaurateur who’s never seen the business end of food service would come up with. Somebody ought to tell him that in these sorts of arrangements, the producer lends his fame and fortune, and the GM takes care of everything else.
Hey I got a better idea… instead of this list, why doesn’t the “Restauranteur” who compiled this list just neuroprogram a bunch of mute, eunuchs Clockwork Orange style and insure that all of his customers get a homogenous, personality free, automaton service.
I didn’t say I expected the run of the house. I simply ask that the waiter not come to the table and start talking over me. At least let me finish a sentence, for Christ’s sake. That’s just basic courtesy.
And before you accuse me of it, no, I don’t linger if the place is busy. I’ve worked in restaurants too, and I understand the economics just fine. I have, however, wondered if I was going to have to eat my lunch standing up in a small, crowded cafe with all tables occupied while at least three parties lingered, chatting over long-empty dishes and coffee cups, oblivious to their surroundings. In similar conditions in the same cafe, we eat and get out.
Write the info down, sure. Dig up a device to steam a label off a bottle? What a waste of time unless your restaurant is Very High End and has the appropriate equipment Right There - as in about as difficult to access / use as the coffeemaker.
I am not defending this, but lipstick can last on a glass through a restaurant-quality dishwasher. It probably was otherwise clean. Actually, I grew up with a dishwasher, and if it left a spot of food on a plate, I always told myself, “well, if it didn’t come off in the dishwasher, then it won’t come off when I’m eating.” (I’m more picky now.)
:rolleyes:
This pisses me off to no end, because I’ll drink whatever is in my glass, so if someone else refills my wine glass, I will probably drink more than I mean to.
I like most of the list, but I think the ‘no name’ rule is just plain wrong.
Every source I know of, to do with good rapport, good selling or good marketing practice, suggests that the move from anonymous roles (me salesman, you customer) to first names is a step in the right direction. It’s warmer, more human, and it conveys a sense of personal responsibility.
Let me make a distinction. I’m not talking about the way a TGI Friday’s worker droid will recite a set speech with a rictus grin. That’s just fake.
But if a staffer actually talks to me like a real human being, and includes his or her name as part of the ‘I will be looking after you this evening’ speech, I think it’s a good move. It suggests to me that he or she is taking some personal responsibility for making sure my experience is a good one.
It’s also how I want to relate to servers. I want to treat them like people, not just anonymous slaves doing my bidding. I like them to know that I’m aware how hard the job is, that I appreciate their work, and that I am more than happy to tip generously in return for good service and to mention to the manager on the way out that they did a great job.
I also like how this was was directly opposite a photo of the author Bruce Buschel who himself looks creepy and runny and wrong.
Overall the list seems fine to me, but one thing I always wondered as a server was what I was supposed to call people. Women hate “you guys” or “girls” or “ladies,” men also hate “you guys,” and “gentlemen” is weird to say, and there’s no plural for mixed groups (except "you guys"or “folks”). Other than excising the plural entirely what’s a server to do?
Blech! That’s such an OBVIOUS thing, at the very least the server should have noticed it when he was bringing it!
Some years back, there was a sit-down restaurant at a mall near us. One of several locations of a small chain. We had several decent meals there over the course of a year or two, but we could tell it was getting less and less traffic. The last time we went there… you know the kids’ drinks a lot of chains like Ruby Tuesday etc. have? the plastic cup with firmly-snapped-on lid, with a hole for a pretty robust straw (as in, not a 1.49 for a hundred disposable)… Well, the waiter brought my kid such a drink.
Which would have been fine…
except the straw had clearly already been used, and had been CHEWED UP.
I made them bring me a replacement, and that was the last time I ate there. It was gone a month or two later.
That list is clearly written by someone who not only has never worked in food service, but deems the “lowly waitstaff” to be beneath them, at that. The little gem about not wanting servers to give out names is fucking ridiculous.
And some of those things on that list servers are required to do. Where I work, we get weekly “shoppers” who come in and evaluate the service. We don’t know who they are, but we have steps we have to do, and those steps include:
Say our name
As if they’ve been in before
Suggest a drink, appetizer, entree, and dessert by name
Check back within 5 minutes of them getting their meal
And some more things, too, but those are just the ones that are in direct violation of this guy’s little “rules.”
A lot of people, and I notice it here a lot, have unrealistic expectations when they go out. The fact is, you’re not my only table (usually,) and I have other shit I have to do, like roll silverware, or make sure the salad dressing station is clean, etc… I don’t have time to sort of hover close by, hoping someone will look up from their food/conversation to make “eye contact” indicating that I can go over. And I guess it’s good that everyone here has psychic powers, cause there are a lot of people out there that make eye contact for no reason and are still deep in conversation.
i try to be as polite as I can, but at some point I’m probably going to have to interrupt you, and talk to you when you have food in your mother. Get over it. If that’s the worst thing that happens to you, then it sounds like you have a pretty good night.
I’ve never had any issue with “no problem”. Plenty of other languages use similar phrases in response to “thank you”. Spanish de nada, “it’s nothing”; I can’t remember the corresponding Japanese phrase, but it too translates, “it was nothing”. I’ve actually always wondered what, exactly, does “you’re welcome” mean? I’m welcome to what? Ask you to do it again, I guess? Personally, if saying “no problem” is indeed a problem, a better phrase would be “It was my pleasure.” It makes more sense than “you’re welcome”.
Interesting that several people in the comments misunderstood the bit about “don’t call a woman ‘lady’”. In the context (“don’t call men ‘dude’”), it seemed clear to me that it was referring to addressing a woman with “Hey, lady!”
I’m on the fence re: taking one person’s empty plate away before everybody is finished. My personal preference is, “I’m done with this — get it out of my way.” Once I’m done eating I’d like to be able to fold my hands on the table in front of me if I feel like it, something I can’t do with a dirty plate in front of me. Part of my reason is a minor back problem - my back gets really stiff if I’m forced to sit in one position for too long, so I like to be able to lean back in my chair or lean forward with my forearms (not my elbows!) on the table as necessary.
But then, I strenuously avoid eating with other people as much as I can. That’s really just a personality quirk on my part; I like to eat my food while it’s still hot, so when my food is placed in front of me I shut up and eat it. Plus, I’m one who eats for nourishment, not for the social experience. I find myself endlessly frustrated by dining companions who get their food and then leave it practically untouched while they yammer on and on. Trying to eat and converse at the same time is an exercise in frustration for me, since somebody always says something I’m expected to respond to just as I’ve taken a big bite of something. So I’d rather suspend the conversation for the time it takes to eat, then pick it up afterward.
I never “auction off” ( as well call it) the food for my own parties, with a few exceptions (if it’s a large party, like over 8 people, I probably won’t remember everything.) Or if there are similar orders (same steak, different side) and I can’t recall if I placed the plates on my arms in the “correct” order or not.
But if I am running food for someone else, I often auction them off, since people might have moved around since the order was placed. What I don’t ever understand, though, is how quickly people forget what they ordered. i can’t tell you the number of times I am standing there, arms loaded up with four heavy plates of food, asking who had the salmon, and have everyone stare at me like I grew a second head. Finally, since I always try to put the food for “seat one” by itself in my right hand, I just place it there and hope for the best.
Seriously, if you can’t be arsed to remember what you ordered, is it really fair to expect the server to?
“Bruce Buschel — an author, magazine writer, co-creator of an Off Broadway musical, and director/producer of jazz films — writes about his latest venture: building and starting a seafood restaurant.”
Yeeeaaah… clearly fully qualified to enter the restaurant business :rolleyes: One of the changes I’ve noticed in my 2+ decades in the business is that, where local restaurants used to be owned and run by actual restaurant people — cooks/chefs/waiters who spent years working in the industry before starting up their own, nowadays more and more restaurants are being opened by people who were successful and made their money in a completely unrelated industry, and now they think it would be cool to own a restaurant. And too many of those people have a fantasy idea of how a restaurant works. The ones I’ve seen have success in restaurants are the ones who are clever/non-egotistical enough to accept that they don’t know the business, and so they hire people with experience and let them do their jobs. The failures are the ones who think their success in another industry will automatically translate to success in restaurants, and try to micromanage everything.
Continuing from above, most of these rules/procedures are devised by corporate bean counters and marketing people, not actual restaurant people.
True. I’ll dispute the “no reason” bit, though.
<creepy old man>
I may not be ready to order, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ogle the waitresses!
</creepy old man>
