Loosely disguised as a survey, this is, in fact, the opportunity for all current and former waiters/waitresses/servers to come clean. I have no desire for revenge or recriminations, but I have to know the truth!
There’s a secret code, isn’t there, that requires you to watch me eat, waiting till I’ve just taken a bite of my dinner before you descend on the table and ask: “How is everything?” - secure in the knowledge that I can’t do anything but nod or chew furiously in order to say what I need to say. Naturally, since I don’t make an immediate request or comment, you feel free to pounce on the next diner lifting a full fork to his face.
I’m not going to reduce your tips. I’m not going to be surly or unpleasant. I’m not going to leave a mess at the table for you to deal with. But I must know the truth!! How do you time it so perfectly? How are you able to read my posture, even from behind, and know when I’m chatting and when I’m dealing with a mouthful of pasta?
And another thing, how is it that our food ALWAYS appears from the kitchen when my husband is in the men’s room? Are you monitoring him too?
I want the truth. I can handle it! Really I can. Merely confirm my suspicions and we can get back to business as usual. Thank you.
You’re in a restaurant, and you’re there eating. The chances are just pretty darn high that when the server comes along, you’ll have food in your mouth.
Although I have heard rumor that there are a few servers that do take perverse delight in doing this to customers.
You’re in a restaurant, and you’re there eating. The chances are just pretty darn high that when the server comes along, you’ll have food in your mouth.
Although I have heard rumor that there are a few servers that do take perverse delight in doing this to customers.
Mwah ha ha!
That’s the first thing we learn in waitressing school.
"If a customer has food in their mouth, they can’t complain!" I think at one point, we had to embroider a sampler with this on it.
No, really, we just happen to ask you as we walk by. I’ve always picked on customers, in a friendly way, and told them that I ask them while they have a mouth full of food on purpose. It runs along the same lines that, no matter how long ago a person ordered food, if they light up a cigarette, food will be at the table within a minute. Or as soon as the customer finishes sucking up the last bit of Coke or Pepsi from their glass, the fountain will run out of syrup. It’s just one of those Murphy’s Law kind of things.
It frequently comes down to one of two choices: interrupting you while you’re talking to tablemates (very rude) versus interrupting you when you’ve got a mouth full of food (less rude). What diners really need to do is have long pauses in the conversation during which they don’t put food in their mouths so that the server can come by politely and ask how you’re doing.
And a minor highjack: Are you trying to conserve coffee? I think lesson number 2 in waiter’s school must be "ask if they want a coffee refill approximately 30 seconds after you first gave them the cup, when they couldn’t have possibly finished it yet, then don’t ask again for 20 minutes.
And lesson 3: If a customer is trying to get your attention, avoid eye-contact at all costs. I know you see me staring at you with my empty cup - don’t pretend like you don’t see me.
[Disclaimer: That was all tongue-in-cheek. Actually, most servers I encounter do a fine job. The rare times I’ve had problems were usually at a certain coffee shop that starts with a “D” and ends with a “enny’s”.]
I spent a summer waiting tables at one of the “crazy crap on the walls family restraunt” type establishments. Let us call it… Emerald Thursdays. Anyway, there really is a policy which necessarily causes the problem you speak of, FairyChatMom. You see, we had this checklist of things that would presumably ensure customer satisfaction. My memory is a bit fuzzy, but it was something along the lines of “Check back in two bites” or something like that. This is a clear case of good intentions screwing things up. The idea is that we can identify/solve the problem (if there is one) as quickly as possible. w/o the patron having to flag people down because something is wrong. As you are no doubt aware, more often than not, the server returns during or before those first bites. I quickly realized this policy was flawed and began to disregard it altogether. Instead, I would pace around off in a corner somewhere waiting for the right time to check up on patrons. After a while, I developed my “server-sense” which afforded me uncanny abilities to anticipate the needs- or lack therof- of the (demanding) public and earn numerous server-related honors. Also I feel it neccessary to point out that “serving” has one of the highest turn-over rates of any job available and that it is quite likely that the problems you experience are brought about by inexperience rather than spite.
[hijack]
The federal minimum wage for serving staff is $2.15/hr. Think about that next time you decide to withold a tip.
[/hijack]
I would actually call this one the opposite way. It’s far easier for me to pause my conversation to answer your question than to do so with my mouth full of food. If two people are so engrossed that they don’t even see you approach the table, it would probably be best to come back later, but I’ve really not had that many dinner-table conversations that were that intense, and in a restaurant, I expect to be interrupted by the server now and then.
I was commenting on this while eating out just last week. It’s all about paying attention. I noticed our waiter that night was exceptional, and saying that too many people really don’t realize how difficult it is to be a really GOOD server. He paid attention, glanced at our table every time he passed by, so he came to check on us at exactly the right moment, refilled our glasses without our having to ask, those myriad little things that go into making it a good experience. I’m not tough on servers, but I am very aware of of the service I am getting, and tip very well for good service.
Having been a food server for nearly 20 years (and I’m thankfully retired from THAT now!) I can tell you that I worked my butt off to ensure that my customers got good service, and my income always reflected that. Now that I am done blowing my own horn, I can tell you that the food-service industry is FULL of idiots. There is an unfortunate assumption that pretty much anyone can wait tables; thus, the industry simply attracts a disproportionate number of morons. Granted, most of the morons weed themselves out pretty quickly once they realize that while you don’t need a master’s degree to sling hash, it does help if you have a COUPLE functioning brain cells (I think the average career life-span for these people is two weeks). Still, there’s another five morons submitting job applications for every such opening. Turnover in the restaurant industry is ridiculous and sometimes it takes a stroke of extreme good fortune to get good service. Some food servers are only WORTH 2.15 an hour.
Now that I have completely hijacked the thread and taken the OP WAYYYYY too seriously, I think I’ll go out to dinner.
Of course, I’m just being a smart-aleck here. My youngest sister has been a waitress and bartender for many years. I asked her the same question and got similar wise-acre responses from her. Actually, she’s very good at it - she’s good at reading people, knowing who she can schmooze with and who wants to be left alone. And she said sometimes she deliberately waited till people just took a mouthful of food.
I’ve never done the job, nor would I - I haven’t the patience. However, I appreciate attentive service and I rarely have a gripe. In fact, when I do, I stop eating and wait for the server to come back to take care of things. To my mind, any meal I don’t have to prepare and clean up after is a good meal - and it takes effort to ruin it for me. And I’ve taken over the tipping duties because my spouse is a cheapskate!
OK, I’ll admit it - I once walked up to a table where the people were chatting over lunch and stood there quietly. When they turned politely to see what I wanted, I said, “I’m just waiting for you to get your mouth full so I can ask you how everything is.”
Also, though, is that quite often youre just too BUSY to notice the exact right time to approach and ask if the food is alright. Often, the though comes along the lines of:
“Get salad to this table, refill water, get bartender to deliver Epensive Wine to this table, oops, check that one, all good, great, ok now reset another table, are they done their salad? Good, clear, seat another table…two cokes…two cokes…two cokes…anything else? No? Todays specials are yadda yadda and yadda with shrimp, serve table, take order, what kind of salad dressing, we have 12? Oh, you want to hear them all, great, they are 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12, you want #3? Ranch. Good, how would you like that cooked, other table check if its all good, ok…get drinks…”
Sorry. I’m having flashbacks. Gotta go lie down…
