Inspired by this thread I’ve noticed how little people know about what it’s like to wait tables and deal with people, both customers and other staff.
I’m not intending this thread to turn into a debate about tipping. I’ve also never witnessed anyone spitting in food or any other such behavior, so I can’t answer anything about that.
My table waiting resume:
I started waiting tables at the age of 19 to help support myself through school. I’ve been doing it for about four years now. I’ve worked at five different restaurants, ranging from corporate to individually owned. I’ve worked with Italian, Chinese, American and Carribean.
If there’s any other servers who would like to join in on answering questions or giving their own anecdotes, please feel free.
Do you get hit on a lot? My ex always wanted to wait tables because she had friends who did. That’s all they could recommend about it though, so I made it clear I would not stand for her doing that kind of work. (She quickly got a good desk job at much higher pay, so she soon gave up bringing it up. But she still had a roving eye.)
I am aware that sometimes things aren’t the server’s fault… but I wouldn’t go into the kitchen and scream at them for not having my meal ready. How annoying is it when customers are rude in situations like this?
I used to have a collection of phone numbers that guys would leave me. I’ve never called any of them.
Some of the more memorable ones:
One place I worked had a regular that I started referring to as Sake screwer (well, not in such kind words). He was about ten years older than me and was very open about liking me. I only waited on him once. Everytime after that he sat at the bar and enjoyed his Sake. One day the bartender didn’t cut him off in time and he began pestering me for a date. I politely declined telling him that I wasn’t comfortable with the age difference (I had just turned 22) and I didn’t really know him. He started getting irate, demanding I go out with him and he would give my best friend a security deposit of $1000 to ensure my safe return. I hid out in the kitchen for an hour until he left. For some reason my manager didn’t see what was wrong with the situation and wouldn’t go talk to the man.
I had a regular that would come in about once every week or two that had a crush on me. I knew exactly what he wanted to order most of the time, a glass of water no lemon, pan fried dumplings as an appetizer, if he got steak it was medium rare and his side would always be fries with mayo on the side. He was completely amazed that I remembered all this. He never really hit on me. He actually never mentioned he liked me until he found out that I was leaving town to go back to school. He left me his phone number with an explanation saying that if he knew I had been single all that time he would have asked me out sooner.
A few months ago I had a table with two guys. I didn’t really talk to them since I was busy. Neither of them seemed interested in me either. When they left one of the guys had written on his credit card slip (which I have to turn in at the end of the night) his phone number with an out of state area code and a note saying, “If interested, please call”.
When I worked in a tourist town I was left a hotel room number on a coaster.
It pisses us off and makes the customer look like a complete jackass to everyone else.
Most servers will put that person down on the bottom of the list of priorities. Chances are low on recovering their satisfaction with their dining experience. I don’t want to jeopordize the service I give to my other tables and risk losing my tips from them just to appease that one person who has already made up their mind not to tip or tip me poorly for something beyond my control.
Also, it’s very irritating to hear “Why’s it taking so long?” when the person ordered a well done steak and it’s only been in for about ten minutes. It takes everything in me to not sound like a smart ass when I reply with “Sir, you did order a well done steak. It takes time to cook.”
I find it more interesting that people are willing to be rude to their server before their food comes out. I am a server, and I would never do something to someone’s food, but I do know former coworkers who would have no trouble ‘tampering’ with food in a non lethal way.
The only thing that really annoys me is when people act like something is wrong, refuse to tell me that anything is wrong, wait until they are on the way out, and then complain to the host or manager that things were awful. At that point, you’re not worried about making things better for yourself, you’re thinking about making my life more difficult. It’s a lose-lose situation. Most restaurants are very happy to take care of legitimate complaints. All you have to do is say something. It’s not rude.
I find it more interesting that people are willing to be rude to their server before their food comes out. I am a server, and I would never do something to someone’s food, but I do know former coworkers who would have no trouble ‘tampering’ with food in a non lethal way.
The only thing that really annoys me is when people act like something is wrong, refuse to tell me that anything is wrong, wait until they are on the way out, and then complain to the host or manager that things were awful. At that point, you’re not worried about making things better for yourself, you’re thinking about making my life more difficult. It’s a lose-lose situation. Most restaurants are very happy to take care of legitimate complaints. All you have to do is say something. It’s not rude.
I actually had this happen the other night. I knew something was wrong with my table but they wouldn’t tell me. Everytime I checked up on them the man at the table would give me a cold look and say that they didn’t need anything. My manager eventually went up and talked to him. The man complained that the soup was bad, the crab cakes too garlicy, and he hated his steak. To make matters even worse he had lent the owner a large sum of money to start the place up. After he left he called the owner and let him have it.
The next morning the owner was there trying the food that the man had complained about. I talked to him and told him that that was the coldest, rudest man I ever had the displeasure of serving. The owner agreed with me, saying he was a mean man. After he left I found out it was his father. Oops, oh well. It needed to be said.
I don’t want this thread to be customer bashing, so I’ll throw in a little happy story (well, kind of).
I had one regular who would come in every other Sunday with his father. He often gave everyone a weird vibe. It’s didn’t help that he looked a lot like Stephen King. He would sit there the entire time reading his paper. After waiting on him and his father several times, I struck up a conversation. If they were going to dine with me regularly I figured I’d get to know them a little.
“Stephen” was a loner. He had a hard time communicating with people. He was married to a Korean woman who spent most of her time out of the country for some unknown reason. She left him with one of her daughters, a thirteen year old that he loved as his own and would do anything for. Over the next few months he opened up to me, sharing his problems and life philosophies.
After I would get off of work we would sit in the bar area and talk, just as friends. We would sit and do the crossword. He would never let me do it in pencil and he never let me buy my own beer.
My last day there he brought me a present. He had bought me a carton of cigarettes despite the fact that he hated I smoked. He had emptied one of the packs and replaced it with two watches. He had noticed my watch’s face was scratched to the point that I couldn’t read it. He told me he wasn’t sure which one I would like so he got both. I still have both of them and I wear one on a daily basis. He refused to give me any way to contact him. He told me the only reason he opened up to me was because he knew I was leaving. He said he was going to miss me and he wouldn’t forget me even though I’d probably forget him. Somehow I don’t think I can forget him though.
Yes… yes you do. Whether you are a waitress, a barrista or just work at the 24hr Tim Horton’s…
The last was the worst I found because I worked graveyard shift so we got hit with all the drunks. I got numerous numbers and once was given a hand written thing by this guy, with his number on it, giving me 25% off at a local restaurant! He apparently was part owner in it and wanted to show me a good time…
The waitressing was off and on… depended what was happening and how cold it was outside (I worked downtown in a hotel so we got a lot of weird people coming in just for coffee to warm up, but the weird people weren’t the ones who hit on me. It was mainly the hotel customers…) I had one guy ask me to sit down and eat dinner with him but he set of my CGR and I was glad to have a couple other tables that I had to serve… usually it was pretty slow there in the evenings.
The smartest way is to just be polite. Be aware of the tone you are using. I won’t ignore you if you are expressing any discomfort. I actually appreciate you telling me early on. It’s when a person becomes rude and hateful about things that I begin to ignore them.
Using words like please and thank you make a big difference too.
Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t. There is a growing trend with people drinking water because it’s better for you rather than cheaper for you.
Then there are the people who order ice water with extra extra lemon and add sugar to it. That tends to be a sign that my tip will be 15% to the penny for good service.
Other than that, the biggest way it effects the tip is by bringing down the check cost. The tip from $1.75 might not be much for one person, but if it is a party of 10 all drinking water that could be an extra $3-4 I’m not making for doing the same amount of work.
How much discretion is allowed to the server in the way the actual dishes are presented?
I ask this because we went out to eat tonight, and the waitress put my plate down with the knife handle pointing right, close enough that my son grabbed it. I know that that is the “correct” way to set the plate down, since most people are right-handed, but can corporate servers show a little common sense about things like cutlery and beverage glasses and all?
I’m not trying to be snide, although I am voicing a complaint. But I am genuinely interested.
(and I’ve been known to tip extremely well when dining out with my son to help ease the inconvenience of trips for extra silverware, straws, napkins, crackers, etc.)
I’ve never been taught to place things on the table in a specific way other than the initial setup (silverware rolls, salt, pepper). Then again most places I’ve worked have things like the steak knife already on the table.
Any decent server knows that dangerous and spillible things should be placed as far away from the child as possible. It avoids any trouble and it shows the guests that you are aware and you care.
I try my hardest to cater to children. Most parents are pleased by this. It can be anything from getting them crackers and bread to talking and playing with them. It allows the parents to have a more peaceful meal along with the people at the surrounding tables. Nothing makes a person want to skip dessert and say “Check please” than a screaming baby.
Thank you for taking those extra little trips into consideration when you tip. Many people don’t think to do this. All too often I’ve gotten a “Thank you for the excellent service” with a $3 tip and a mess to clean on the floor.
Does bother you to wait on single person tables? I ask because I eat out a lot, frequently alone because Tucker-babe and I have such different schedules. I’m a cheap customer (my tabs run from 4-13 bucks), so anyone who waits on me is practically working for free. I do leave a $2 minimum (or 20%, whichever is greater) for good service. More, depending. So, as a percentage, I might seem to be a good customer, but considering I might be tying up a table that could seat four people. . . well, that kinda changes it.
(And in an unrelated coincidental note, the gal that waited on me last night was a first-generation American born of Iranian parents.)
Most servers should have a clue about stuff like that, Robin. However, I was regularly surprised by how many didn’t. I was a server myself and trained others for 15 years, and you would not believe the lack of common sense that I encountered. Servers reaching with coffee pots over the heads of children in high chairs, placing dangerous or hot objects within the reach of small children, or even just neglecting to move stuff out of a child’s way!
In every restaurant I’ve worked in, I ALWAYS carried packages of oyster crackers and small boxes of crayons in my apron pockets even though some of those restaurants were not specifically meant to be kid-friendly. A stupidly simple thing like that can make all the difference for parents. If a server has the slightest clue, he or she will realize that sucking up to a kid is the fastest (and easiest) way to a decent tip - not only does it make you as a server look like a caring person, it also frees up the parents nominally and allows them to actually enjoy a meal, a luxury that people with young children don’t often get.
I also want to say that in my many years of serving, I have NEVER seen or heard of a server tampering with a customer’s food. Threats in the back hallway, yes, by the dozens, but never an incident that was more than a verbal release of stress.
I actually don’t mind waiting on single diners, as long as that’s not the only thing I’m getting. Normally the person eating alone is a man. For some reason women don’t dine alone as much. The person usually doesn’t ask for much, so he is easier to wait on. Also since he’s not really talking to anyone, the turn time for the table is a lot quicker.
About a month ago I got a table, a single guy a few years older than me. It was a really slow day (UT football tends to keep everyone glued to the TV screen rather than out eating lunch) and he was my first table. One of my coworkers commented about how it must suck that the only table I got was a single top. He ended up leaving me $15. Just because there are more people at the table doesn’t mean the tip will be higher.
Okay, I know inkysplotchy’s answers to these, but other servers:
What kind of restaurant do you prefer to work at? Massive national chain (Outback, Applebee’s, Cheesecake Factory, etc.)? One-of-a-kind local restaurant? Formal, casual, or somewhere in between?
And what’s your least favorite item on the menu (or off it, I guess) to serve?
One thing I’ve never been totally clear on: Do you have to share a percetange of your tips with the bussers?
And, along those same lines: If I order an alcoholic drink that requires a bartender to prepare it, do you share a percentage of your tip with the bartender?
For someone trying to find work as a server with no previous serving experience, what would you recommend for them? Should they start as a host? Then work up from there?