Your opinion on this piece about food service professionals

In My Humble Opinion
1

A friend of mine is a server who says he’s “gotten so sick and tired of people not realizing that restaurants do things for a reason and that patrons being dicks doesn’t speed up service, it slows it down”. He wrote the original version of this as an e-mail response to a food critic who majorly pissed him off for slamming the restaurant where he worked for, among other things, not seating him immediately when there were empty tables available and not letting him push two tables together as he was with several other people. Due to length and profanity it was (as he knew it would not be) never published.

Since he doesn’t have regular I’net access he asked me to post it to ask for any suggestions or criticisms other servers or restaurant patrons may wish to add or dispute. He wants to melt it down into a far more concise and polite version to distribute via email and flyer so that people will understand things that are evidently not common knowledge.

Here it is from my friend “Earl”; any comments welcome.

(The distribution version will be much shorter and without the profanity.)

2

Its basically all correct although I will throw in a plea for this not to turn into a tipping debate. Aggressive and rude customers (who are usually female BTW. Just figure I would throw that in for context, truth, and outrage potential) certainly don’t gain anything. Even if the server doesn’t openly shun them, it still discourages the server from being friendly, polite, and going the extra mile. Restaurant staff aren’t always right but they do know how the place works and people should just find a new restaurant if they don’t find fundamental procedures to their liking.

3

I’ve read this before – or at least something very similar. My only real comment to it is this: tipping is NOT mandatory. If it says $35 for a steak on the menu, then that is what it costs me to eat that steak, at that restaurant. I look at that $35 like this:

$4 for the meat and $31 for everything else (ambiance, utensils, plates, seating, overhead, etc.).

With that $31, I am already paying the server to serve me. I am paying the chef to cook my meal.

If I pay exactly the cost of the bill, then the deal is legally closed; the transaction has been completed. Whatever I leave extra is just that – extra. If the server is slow, rude, or incompetent, then they’re deducted anything extra. I rarely run into these negative attributes with restaurant servers. The service usually dictates a tip of 15%-20%.

But then I’ve been at IHOPs or TGIFridays where the service has been dreadful and the food barely edible. I am supposed pay 15% MORE than what I’m already paying? For that? No. I have left these restaurants without tipping, more than once. I supposed it’d be different if I were paying $10 for a dinner for two. Since it’s $30, sorry, waiter at TGI Fridays, you lose. Find a better waiting job.

4

Having never been a server, I will add this: I will reduce the tip from 15% for dreadful service, but the only circumstance under which I will stiff the server is for rudeness. I can forgive incompetence but there’s no excuse for bad manners. (Actually even then I don’t stiff them: I leave a little bit of change, though that’s an insult as opposed to a compensation- if I leave nothing then they can think “Dumbass forgot” or “somebody stole it”, but if I leave a nickel and 4 pennies it says “I intentionally left $.09 because you suck”).

Also, at a Waffle House or IHOP I don’t expect the food to be as good as at a more expensive place, that’s why it’s cheaper, so I give them some slack. I also usually raise the tip to 20 or 25% at such places because 15% of a $5.00 check is ridiculous. I tip extra if I take up a lot of time- even if the place is dead- just because it’s a business and I owe them for their space- so I’ve actually tipped more than 100% at such places when I only had coffee and a piece of pie or whatever and stayed for 2 hours working on my laptop.

And it’s rarely the server’s fault if the food is slow or not cooked to your satisfaction. It’s the fault of the kitchen staff/cook usually (usually from being too busy rather than incompetent) which, while not the customer’s fault, also isn’t the server’s. If the service is good but the food is lousy, the server still deserves a tip. If the meal is comped but the service was good, the server deserves a tip.

A big one: if the server is your favorite nephew or your godmother or your closest-friend since conception, the server still deserves a tip. I’ve known several servers who said friends and family think it’s not necessary to tip them because “We know them”. Thereagain, they make just over $2.00 per hour in salary, their income is tips, even if you’re talking to them as friends you’re actually making them work for free if you don’t tip them.

5

This seems reasonable. I’ve heard other waiters say something similar. So what is an appropriate way of getting the waiter’s attention, particularly when you’ve waited your turn for 20 minutes or so and nothing has happened? Is it OK to interrupt once a waiter has finished talking to the people at another table?

6

I agree with most of it. The “mandatory tipping” isn’t exactly accurate. You go to a restaurant with the *intention and funds * to tip 15%, but that figure is subject to change depending on the service, food, and expected accommodations.

My standard tip is 20%, but if you don’t earn it, you don’t get it.

7

I only had to read the first couple of paragraphs in your friend’s diatribe. Your friend needs to find another way to make a living.

8

My standard tip is 20%. And I don’t mind paying it.

Here’s my reasoning: Let’s say a law was passed that outlawed tipping in restaurants. Would the price of every meal stay the same? No. The prices would increase about 15%. This is based on simple economics. Tipping or no tipping, you’ll pay about the same (on average).

So here’s the question I ask myself: Would I rather pay a tip to the server, or would I rather pay more for my meal? I choose the former.

9

He has one actually. He now just does occasional waiting for extra money.

10

Why? Most of us complain about some parts of our job and we may even have a point. Everything the friend wrote is pretty generic and any service worker would say pretty much the same thing. That doesn’t mean that they don’t give the best service possible when customers are reasonably polite and follow the expected conventions. I haven’t done service work since college but most people are perfectly decent and make it an enjoyable experience for everyone but that 1 in 20 or so really screws the whole thing up even for themselves but they never realise it.

11

Good topic for discussion, ** Sampiro ** , and a good way to bring it up, as opposed to a rant posed by a disgruntled waiter or an indignant customer.

Having made two attempts at two seperate times in my life to be a waitress and failing miserably at both, I know what a difficult job it is and have great respect for those in the food service industry.

Though we don’t want to turn this into a tipping debate, I’m afraid that’s inevitably where a lot of folks are going to take it. In my opinion the only thing that will make me tip poorly is rudeness on the part of the server. I’ve gotten incorrect orders, cold food, food that I’ve waited an inordinate amount of time for. You know what? All it takes is a smiling face to aknowledge the problem and do their best to make it right and we’re square. I would never dream of stiffing the wait staff for a problem that lies in the kitchen or with management. In fact I have complained to said management many times after a poor dining experience, always prefacing that “waitress X” was awesome but . . .

I think the disconnect in diner / server relations lies with the former’s sense of entitlement and the later’s (in some cases) burnout from working in a sometime less that rewarding job.

So, to all the wait people out there, I promise not to *be * a pain in your ass if you promise not to make me feel like one.

12

If the food or the service is so bad you don’t want to leave a tip, you need to speak to the manager. If the food is bad or incorrectly prepared it is most likely not the server’s fault, and they don’t deserve to get stiffed because the kitchen made a mistake. If a server is incompetent or rude, the manager needs to know it. Some folks are just not cut out to be servers - I’m one of them. I like people and do well in the jobs I have had dealing with the public, but for some reason there are people who think a server is the lowest form of life and treat them accordingly. I have often said I would have to be in deep financial trouble before I would waitress again - and I’d rather be a whore. Whores make more money and get more respect.

13

Yeah, that’s the big question for me, from reading that rant. On the one hand, it’s totally inappropriate to interrupt the waiter at the next table over because it’s just occurred to you that you’d like some fat-free mayonnaise with your cheesecake. Wait until he’s done at the next table before making your horrifying request.

But what if you finished your dinner fifteen minutes ago and you haven’t been able to catch your waitress’s eye since then, and you’re ready to leave? That’s happened to me more than once, and I don’t know whether it’s because my eyes are terrifying to behold or because I really need to take a bath or because the waitress is overwhelmingly busy with ten thousand other tables or what. No matter what, it’s pretty irritating; there have been a couple occasions where I’ve wanted to get up and hunt the waitress down so we could get our bill and settle. What do servers prefer we customers do under such circumstances?

Daniel

14

I do think the quality of the food weighs in on the tip.

My logic is that I am a customer at an eating establishment. The establishment has many moving parts, including cooks, table bussers, waitstaff, hosts, managers, and bartenders. If one of these screws up, it is the establishment that is at fault. I don’t care who it is; they should be critiquing and supporting one another to deliver the best product they can. If a patron said, hey your service is great, but the food is awful, I’m not leaving a tip on something that I’ve already paid 1000% of its actual cost. I expect if the waitstaff is unhappy with this, then they have three courses of action: 1) Tell his manager, 2) Tell the cook, 3) Find a better place to work. Keep me out of it. I’d rather the establishment solve this type of stuff internally.

Like I said, though, I rarely run into any problems at all when dining at quality restaurants, but we have to draw a line here: casual waitstaff vs. professionally-trained waitstaff. There is a big difference. By casual I mean the waitstaff job anyone can get – low-quality family chain restaurants, greasy spoons, etc, and professionally-trained waitstaff working at restaurants where the minimum cost is $50 a plate. The latter know their craft, and they know how to handle badly prepared meals – without the customer getting involved.

15

I have to wonder if your friend thinks that people behave in the ways he described because they honestly don’t know any better. I think most of those people realize the way the servers would like things to work, and don’t care a whit - either because they’re rude, or because they have sincerely considered these issues in good faith and come to the conclusion that he is wrong and they, the patrons, are right. Venting is all well and good, but I think his expectations are too high if he thinks it is instructive.

16

I don’t base my tip on the quality of the food. It’s too indirect because from the server’s point of view it’s just Random Bad Stuff happening to him (or her.) If your server has done a reasonable or better job, but the food was awful, how is he going to know that’s why you didn’t leave a reasonable tip? I would complain to the management or, more likely, never go back to that restaurant. Even with awful service I would leave at least 10%.

I don’t particularly care for the tipping system, but that is what we have. I’d rather pay more for my meal and see servers be paid a good wage by the establishment. In the past I have heard people moan about the “I only make $2 an hour” thing but when I suggest that we abolish tipping and let them get $20 an hour from the restaurant for waiting tables they have all exclaimed “But I can make $50 an hour with tips!” At which point I roll my eyes (privately) and stop listening to the bitching.

17

Most servers, who work in a decent establishment, make considerably more than they would at a fixed wage job and most of them cheat the taxman. I tip according to my total experience and I believe it’s legitimate to adjust the tip up or down depending on that experience, whether the server has control or not.
There are always going to be a few people who undertip, or stiff the server for one reason or another, but that’s to be expected, I don’t hear anyone bitching about the ocassional big tipper.

18

Reading it makes me want to eat out less often, or not at all - in case I get brutally mauled by an enraged waiter for accidentally breaching some point of etiquette. Is that what your friend was aiming for?

19

First, I’m surprised to read that sometimes customers aren’t seated at empty tables because of customer flow problems. Surely this is something the management could handle better–contingency plans, swapping servers, SOMETHING. Or have restaurants generally found that refusing to seat customers makes them less angry than sitting at their table waiting for attention? If that’s the case then what they’re doing is right… except maybe the boss should consider hiring more servers.

Secondly, we’ve all been “forgotten” by our server at least once in our lives. I think we all live in horror of it happening again and will engage in whatever behavior necessary to prevent it (tongue in cheek).

20

I thought it was a reasonable rant (can rants be reasonable???)

I’ve also always thought that before people can be allowed to eat in a restaurant or shop in retail establishments, they should be required to work in them for at least 3 months - preferably throught the Thanksgiving/Christmas season (retail) and Mothers Day/Valentines Day (restaurants). That would possibly cut down on the number of jackasses in said establishments.

VCNJ~