Ask the Server

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Both corporate and independently owned places have their advantages. I like that corporate has more money. They can advertize more and are generally well known. There is more business, therefore more money.

Where I work now is an individually owned local business. It’s very laid back and we have more direct contact with the owner. It makes it a lot easier to voice my opinion on things and be heard.

When I worked for Ruby Tuesday I always hated serving fajitas. We didn’t have trays and the hot skillets were heavy and splattered grease all over my arm. It didn’t help that tables were too small for the three plates this meal required, especially when more than one person ordered it.

Once I was helping another server run out their food. I was the lucky one to carry the skillet along with another plate. As I was setting down the other food, I accidentally tilted the skillet. All the sizzling juices ran down my arm. One person at the table noticed this and quickly made some room for me to put it down. As soon as I did he said to me “You can run back into the kitchen and scream now.” That’s exactly what I did.

22

Where I work now we have a percentage of our sales (2.5%) that we tip out to both bar and host (they wipe down our tables). It comes directly out of the money we owe at the end of the night. The manager splits it evenly between the two positions, and then evenly between the people who worked it.

Other places I’ve worked have had you determine an amount that you tip out, normally about 10% of what you’ve made. I’ve never worked any place where the server isn’t required to tip out the busser.

Some places require you tip out by the amount of alcohol you sell, either a small fee per drink or a percentage of your bar sales, normally 10%. Other places require you to tip out the bar whether they’ve served you or not.

Most places won’t give you a chance unless you’ve had previous experience. It takes a lot of time and money to train some one how to serve in addition to what to serve.

I’ve seen a lot of people start as a host and work their way up. The pay sucks, but it’s a way to learn the food and observe how others take care of their guests.

Also, if you do get into serving, just remember that most people suck at waiting tables at first. I was horrible at my first job, but one day something clicked. I figured out my own method to doing things. With my second job and all those after, I was always considered a strong server.

23

I’m a woman who often dines alone. Why do servers always spread my plates and dishes out over the entire table? And always move the salt shaker to the other side of the table? I have limited mobility, so I have to get my staff, stand up, and pull everything closer to me again. There’s enough room to put everything within arm’s reach of me…why do servers insist on spreading stuff out?

24

Honestly, I’ve never noticed this. I try to place everything in front of the person. It makes no sense to put it out of reach. I may move the salt shaker to make room for your plate if it’s in the way, but I never move anything across the table.

Can any one else answer this?

25

I think customers forget that most servers do just about everything habitually. They’ve developed a method that works for them, and often they aren’t aware enough, due to to workload or just poor attentiveness, of any special cases that table may create.

Customers often take this personally, thinking that server has simply chosen to be inconsiderate to them when in reality they are simply doing things as they would for 90% of the customers.

In Lynn’s case, its certainly normal to rearrange the table to suit the number of diners at it. If there are 3 at a four top, the fourth utensils are taken away andthe condiments and other table settings are placed in the place of the missing guest. When there are two, the stuff is moved from the middle to one side. When there’s one, you’ll usually arrange the table to allow the customer the maximum amount of space to spread out. This is personally how I prefer it when I dine and I believe that I’m the majority. As a result the server is trained and in the habit of moving things to open as much of the table up for plates and drinks when its a one person table, often its done before the waitstaff even arrives by the bussers or the host. Its certainly ideal that they’d be attentive enough to notice that you are a special case and set things up accordingly, but I don’t think it’s entirely fair to consider it a major faux pas. It’s not clear exactly how obvious these limitation are, and a server certainly would be unwise to ask in many situations.

This is just one example, and I think it also applies to the child situation as well. They set the table by habit, and the fact that one diner is a child may not seem apparent to a person, nor some of the obvious issues you’ve raise my not be common sense to someone that has never spent alot of time with children. I can personally say that I’d have no idea what the proper tactics are in dealing with a child are, and the danger signs you see would often be totally invisible to me.

Its not to say that these details and oversights are to be expected, but it probably shouldn’t be a flash point of serious animosity either. Waiting is a job, like many others, and its very rare that a server is able to treat each customer as a special individual in the course of a long and repetitive work day. Each occupation has its shortcuts and nearly automatic and instinctive steps in completing it. These steps might not always be ideal, but I think it’s pretty harsh to take them personally or to judge the entire service on those mistakes.

26

Experiences here differ, so I’ll add mine to ShadiRoxan’s.

  1. Wherever I’ve worked, servers tip out to bussers. Some places have a set percentage, others leave it to the servers’ discretion. If you have a good busperson working with you, your job becomes approximately ninety kabillion times easier. In the last place I worked, I had the busser from heaven, and resorted to bribery on many occasions to ensure that he was working in my station.

  2. Bartenders get tipped out, too, usually under the same guidelines as bussers - either a set percentage or servers’ discretion. We also had a barback, a busperson assigned solely to the bar, and the bartenders tipped out to him.

  3. Rarely have I personally seen someone go from hosting to serving. It’s a different kind of training. Generally, new servers are trained by senior servers. IME, it’s usually a day or two familiarizing oneself with the menu and house policies and getting introduced around, then two shifts following an experienced server and two shift with an experienced server following YOU in a small station (maybe three tables). The, you get a small station solo, and get your station enlarged as you prove yourself able. Servers being trained are generally paid a training wage, and turn their tips over to their trainer. In some places the trainer also gets paid a training wage.

For someone just starting out, I would recommend starting in either a small local family restaurant or a large national chain. Fine dining restaurants often have entirely different standards of service, and the finest ones simply do not hire “newbies.” Fine dining here means silver service, which requires servers to handle dishes in a particular way They may also require extensive general food prep knowledge and sometimes even sommelier experience.

27

I’ve found myself on autopilot many times. It’s very repetitive work. I say the same things over and over again throughout the night.

“Hi, my name is Maryam and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. What can I start every one off to drink with?”
This is often answered by calling me Mary. At least they were half listening to my name. Drink order is taken.

“Can I start you off with an appetizer, maybe some artichoke crab cheese dip?”
This is the appetizer I almost always use. It appeals to most and sells well. I go and get their drinks.

“Have y’all decided yet or do you need a few more minutes?”
I live in the south. Y’all unfortunately has become a part of my vocabulary and sometimes stops people from asking me where I’m from. If they’re ready I take their order, if not:

“I’ll be back in a bit. If you have any questions over the menu, just let me know.”
If they do, I answer the questions, sometimes up to four times per table.

I take the order. If no appetizers are ordered I put it into the computer right away. If an appetizer is ordered then I wait until it is done or near done before I send the order to the kitchen. If there are salads, I bring them either right before or right after the order is sent, all depending on the cook time and how backed up the kitchen is.

As each thing comes out I check back up on my table. “How’s the crab dip?” “Can I get you more dressing?” “How’s your meal?”

The entire time I’m keeping an eye on their drinks and refilling them.

About midway through the meal I ask about dessert. “Have you saved room for some key lime pie or coconut cheesecake?”

If they seem interested I remind them again when they are almost done, if not I try to tempt them again as they’re finishing up. That works more often than you’d think. If they seem like they want to kill me just for bringing it up, I’ll make a joke about it saying that’s it’s part of my job, I have to ask.

I take plates away as the person finishes. When the last person is done I present the check and take away the last plate. As soon as they are ready for me, I grab the check book. If it’s a credit card: “I’ll be right back with this.” If I don’t see anything sticking out or if I see cash: “I’ll be right back with your change.”

The latter is answered either by okay, which signifies they either need change or have a credit card hidden in the book, or keep the change/ it’s yours/ I don’t need anything back.

Everything is finally ended with a “Thank you. Have a nice night and come back and see us.”

I say this about 20 times a night. Many times, if I’m behind and some one else gets a tables drinks for me, I’ve greeted them and asked for their drink order before I realized what I’m saying. I’ve offered dessert five minutes apart, forgetting that I’ve already asked them. Normally they respond by laughing at me or giving me the “You’re an idiot look.”

28

Here are some of the questions I’ve been asked by my tables that I’ll share.

“What time do you get off of work?”
We don’t have a specific quit time. We are cut according to how much business we have. If we stay busy until ten, that means that every one is taking tables until ten. If it’s a slow night and business dies off around 8:30, then first cuts are made then.

A person is cut according to when they came in. Doubles are normally first cut, then the people that were scheduled early in, then the next set, so on and so forth.

Even after I’m cut, it doesn’t mean I’m going home right away. I still have to wait for my table to finish and I have closing work to do. This normally includes Front of House, Back of House and silver.

FOH is cleaning and resetting my tables, refilling salt and pepper and sugar, and cleaning the floors in my section.

BOH can be something as simple as restocking to go items to something as time consuming as breaking down the beverage station.

Silver can include polishing and rolling. Some places have you roll enough to cover your tables. Where I work now, the servers have to have all silverware rolled at the end of the night. This means I can be doing anywhere from 25 to 75 rolls.

“You get paid well, right?”
A lot of people have heard that servers make good money, but they don’t realize that it’s not coming from the restaurant. Many people have been shocked to find out that we make $2.13 an hour. Most places I’ve worked don’t give servers raises. If they do, it’s something along the lines of ten cents more.

Unless I’ve trained, my paycheck is a joke. All the taxes from my tips are taken out of that 2.13. I've seen paychecks for .04. I have one that is completely zeroed out that I used to have taped to my computer. That was for 31 hours of work.

“How long have you been here today?”
My shifts can span anywhere from three hours to ten. I’ve worked many double shifts (both lunch and dinner) either without a break or with only enough time to eat a quick lunch and maybe smoke a cigarette.

We aren’t guaranteed breaks throughout the shift. Most smokers get to take a little five minute break here and there to get in a quick cigarette. I’ve know a lot of people who started smoking just so they could sit down for a few minutes.

“Are they trying to kill the cow?” or “Where can I cash the check?”
Or any other jokes along these lines. They aren’t original. I’ve heard them a million times. They are no longer funny. It takes everything in me not to respond in a smartass way. If you use these lines, please stop. Think of your servers sanity.

29

Do any good servers like to work in places that pool all your tips and share them equally among all the servers and other staff?

Do you like it when customers ask you for recommendations about the food, or is it just annoying? I’ll often ask the server’s opinion once I’ve narrowed my choices down to two (or maybe three) options. Many seem to like answering the question, but a few seem slightly annoyed.

30

The question came up in this thread: Do you prefer to be tipped in cash, even when the diner pays by credit card? It’s easier for me to put the whole thing on credit card, especially when there are a bunch of us eating and we don’t feel like piling cash on the table. But until reading the linked thread, I’d never given any thought to paying just the check by credit card and leaving a cash tip.

Also, your “Stephen” story made me think of another question: In a smaller, family-owned establishment, how much more likely am I to be recognized as a “regular”? I usually assumed that the servers saw so many people in a night, and that I was innocuous enough not to be remembered. But obviously, there are a few people that have stuck in your memory.

31

I’ve never worked in a place that has a server tip share, so I don’t know exactly what it’s like.

I prefer to keep my tips for myself. I feel that I’ve earned that money. There are also some of my coworkers that I would never want to depend on to make me money.

Asking for recommendations is fine as long as it’s narrowed down to a few things. I tend to describe the meals a little more and the person can make a better suited decision.

Asking what’s good on the menu is annoying. I have no idea what your likes or dislikes are. I don’t know if you want a sandwich, salad, or full meal.

If you narrow it down a little, telling me your dietary restrictions (allergies, vegetarianism, religious diets, or dislikes) it makes it a little easier. I can point you in the right direction or tell you what to avoid.

32

I prefer cash tips because I’m not charged a fee by the credit card company and I it’s not automatically claimed for me. However I don’t mind credit card tips. They’re easy to handle and I can keep track of what I’ve made throughout the night.

When you see the same people over and over again, they tend to stick in your mind, especially if there is something unique about them. (Not necessarily a bad thing.) In the case of “Stephen” it was because he spent his entire meal looking through the paper rather than talking to his father and his eerie resemblence to Stephen King.

It’s also a matter of frequency. If you only come in once a month, then I’m less likely to notice you. But if you come in every week or two your face will become more familiar, along with your habits. I’ll get to know what you like to drink, where you prefer to sit, how you pay and how much you tend to tip.

Tips are another way I remember a person. Average tips are easily forgotten, really good tips (20% or more) tend to stick in my memory. Really poor tips when they are not justified stick out too. Those are often the tables we try to give away. There’s nothing more discouraging than knowing that no matter how hard you try it won’t be noticed or appreciated.

33

I was under the impression that tips were exempt from credit card fees. I remember my dad asking a server that very question once many years ago.

In fact, at the BBQ place where we eat a lot, when I use my credit card to pay, I watch the cashier take the cash out of the till and set it aside for the server.

Now I’m confused…

34

There are some places that charge the servers and some places they don’t. The past couple of places I’ve been has. It’s normally not much of a fee, about 1-2%, so the servers don’t really notice it right away.

I worked at one place where I didn’t realize they did this until the night I had all credit cards. The amount I had in credit card tips and the amount the store owed me were off by about $.75.

I’m not sure if tips are exempt. Some one who works with a credit card company would have to answer that. I just know that I’ve been charged for it before.

35

Are you required to wear at least 15 pieces of flair? :smiley: [sup]*[/sup]

Has anyone here ever worked in a buffet-syle restaurant? When I go to one I still tip as if I had gone to a standard-service restaurant, but I have a feeling waitstaff tends to get stiffed more in these kinds of places since people feel that since they got their own food, they don’t have to tip, while forgetting that the waitstaff still has to pick up plates and check up on diners, and in some places, refill drinks.

What are those light bars with the numbers on them used for? You often see them mounted to the ceiling or on a post or some other fixture. I always thought that they were for table numbers, but most of them only go from 1 to 10 and most restaurants have more tables than this.

What is the best shift to work? The worst? If I were a waitperson I’d dread Sunday mornings more than anything else. Sure, there may be a lot of people and therefore, more tips, but I’d lose my sanity if I had to deal with so many people at once. Oftentimes these places seem to be short-staffed on Sundays and the servers have to really hustle. I imagine they lose out on tips for longer service times in spite of doing their damnedest to server everyone.

[sup]*[/sup] If you don’t get this reference, rent the movie Office Space

36

Do some restaurants have a policy that requires the servers to get chummy with patrons? We went to a place once where the server sat down at our table to take our order. At another, when I was hugely pregnant, the server looked at me, looked at my husband, and said “Oooooh, you naughty boy!” :rolleyes:

I wonder if these servers think they have to be friends with their customers or if it’s a management requirement. Personally, I wish they’d just be efficient, competant, and mostly invisible. After all, I’m there for a nice meal out and they’re at work. I don’t say this to be snotty. But when I go out, it’s to socialize with my dining partner(s), not the person who’s getting my food.

Is this something I should mention to management?

37

How do you cope with tables that are eating at two different speeds? For example, my aunt is elderly and eats much more slowly than I do.

Do you have a formal transfer for comfort breaks?

38

Thank goodness I don’t have to wear flare. But I have had to wear men’s ties, bow ties, and most recently a really bad shirt with sail boats all over it. (I love Office Space- Oh the amount of times I’ve wanted to use Jennifer Aniston’s 16th piece of flare.)

I have no idea what you’re talking about with the light bars. Any specific place that you can think of that has it?

****** Warning*****
The rest of my post is going to deal with patterns I have noticed. Not all people fit this, but majority do.

Sundays suck for one big reason: The church crowd. Most servers take this day out of their availability because of the people.

Sunday crowds tend to be the ones who treat the server like the servant. They cut you off before you can say your name. Rather than ask for things, they demand. They often have small children with them who make huge messes. Overall the people just seem rude and cranky.

The meal is normally ended with about a 10% tip, a huge mess on the floor from both adults and children and a little piece of paper that says something along the lines of “Jesus loves you”.

It’s just not a very pleasant shift.

Friday and Saturday nights are the best shifts to work. People are laid back, not in a hurry to really be anywhere, and are more willing to drink. More people go out to dinner and the tabs are higher.

39

I’ll clear the plates of those who are through. If the people who are finished want to have dessert or coffee while the other person finishes up what they’re eating then I will bring that out. Other than that there’s not much else I can do.

If you are thinking about the time between finishing salads and when the entrees come out, as soon as the food is prepared by the kitchen and garnished by the expo it has to go out. If not it will die in the window (get cold, change colors, dry out, etc).

What exactly do you mean by comfort breaks?

40

I consider myself to be an above average tipper, usually between 20 - 25 percent with 30 percent not uncommon. Of course, this is assuming that the server is pleasant and helpful.

My family and friends think that I’m mad for tipping so much, but I always say to myself “Well, this extra few bucks isn’t a whole lot to me, but it may make someones night.”.

Does it? Do you and your fellow servers notice an above average tip and feel good about it, or does it just get scooped up with a shrug the same as a 10-15% tip? I’m just curious and I’m not going to change my tipping habits based on your answer, so feel free to answer candidly.