100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do

In My Humble Opinion
61

As a bartender, I often refill rather than replace my customers’ glasses…but that’s because I’m within eyesight. (And a lot of older drinkers are very attached to their “already seasoned” ice and glass.)

As a waiter, however, I always brought a fresh one, just because it’s one less leg on my journey back to my section. (And the health dpt. has no issue with refilling a glass within the customer’s eyesight…it’s when the glass wanders off into the back that they have an issue with it. No, I don’t recall why–been awhile since I was a waiter!)

And as for the lipstick on the glass–sorry, but I’ve never seen a commercial dishwasher that can remove all-day lipstick, I don’t care if the damn thing gets up to a billion degrees. That stuff just won’t come off.

In a perfect world, each glass would be hand-inspected and polished, of course. And maybe that happens in the type of restaurant this guy plans on opening. I’m sure it happens in the kinds of places I never eat.

In the real world–in the average restaurant–somebody’s screaming for ranch and their check and their kids’ dinner and another margarita, and their waiter isn’t looking at the stacks of glassware for lipstick. They’re just shoving ice and Coke into them and running as fast as they can.

There’s a reason I always avoided working fine-dining. I don’t really like the people who like fine dining. :smiley:

62

So a waitress at my local shouldn’t have poked me in the midriff like she did the other day? I thought it was a cute gesture. :wink:

OK, I’m not a native English speaker, but I wouldn’t have any problems with “No problems”. “It was my pleasure”, on the other hand, reminds me of the slick waiter at a semi-posh restaurant in Columbus who greeted us with something like “Good evening, my name is xxxx, and I will be you waiter tonight” and then started to introduce some item that wasn’t on the menu. I found him very intrusive.

A barman I know once told me that what customers order while waiting for a table is a big part of the income of the restaurant he works at.

63

Darn, everyone was doing so well spelling it restaurateur and then this. :wink:

64

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who never ends a sentence? Or where there is no gap between people’s sentences? It’s been my experience that in most conversations, there is NEVER a convenient time to break in. I’m now in the habit, if I’m in a social situation like a party or bar, to just walk up to a group and introduce myself. Hovering near a group hoping they’ll notice me and stop talking never works at best, and is creepy at worst. If I was a server, I’d learn that my first night.

65

A no-snark-intended, serious question for you: what if the server asks permission before sitting down? I travel pretty frequently for business. I usually ask for a booth so I can quietly do my book-keeping, make notes, etc. while I’m waiting for my food. About half the time (especially if it is a male server), the server will ask if I mind if they sit down while taking my order. I don’t mind. I’m by myself and enjoy a little bit of company (no interest in making a Friend For Life, or anything). But I always get the impression, from their tone, that they wouldn’t be (or at least act) in the least offended if they said “Do you mind if I sit?” (usually gesturing the opposite side of the booth), and I said “Actually, I’d rather you didn’t”.

Do you still consider that rude? I can understand how it could be construed as intrusive. Doesn’t bother me a bit, especially if the waiter is an attractive, charming male. Yes, I know he’s not really flirting with me (I’m happily married anyway); but it makes a fun little “escape” for a few minutes.:wink:

66

I have worked in service most of my adult life and I have found that restaurant owners who create a long list of hard and fast rules are shooting themselves in the foot and it always ends up working against them.

You may have noticed that people come in endless varieties, as do their needs. The servers job is to know when it’s appropriate to refer to people as ‘fellas’ or as ‘gentlemen’. To know when people are in a hurry and not interested in interaction and when people are into a little fun back and forth with their server. When to flatter, when to be overtly formal and restrained.

When you stop your servers from exercising the skills you hired them for you are not helping, you’re hurting!

Lipstick on a glass, server’s fault, they should have seen it.

Food looks like crap, server’s fault. The rule is ‘looks good, tastes bad - cooks fault, looks bad, tastes bad - server’s fault!’

A whole lot of things are out of the server’s control in a restaurant, these two are not.

Meals get forgotten from time to time, in restaurants, especially easy with a large party. Stuff happens. The server’s job is to appease the customer. Tell them a lie if need be, but make them aware, don’t just leave them in the dark. “I’m so sorry but…it was dropped by the busboy, I noticed the plate was dirty, I noticed it was burned on the edge, so I sent it back, please accept my apologies. Can I get you anything while you’re awaiting the replacement, some rolls, a salad, again my apologies, there is a rush on it and it should only take a few more moments…” Like that.

There are not hard and fast rules, or, there shouldn’t be, because customers come in every imaginable stripe. The server’s job is to give them what they came for, both food and service wise.

67

Amen, elbows.

68

Very much agree. I worked for a family owned restaurant while in college.

A large number of my customers were regulars. I knew who to flirt with and who not to. I knew who had a fit if you gave him sour cream with his baked potato. I loved serving regulars, whether or not I liked them, I at least knew their habits. I had one cantankerous old couple. He liked things a certain way. I made sure that I remembered his habits and made sure we saved an end piece of prime rib for him on Friday nights.

When a party with small children came in, I always asked if they wanted me to serve the children first. I can easily put a rush on a grilled cheese and fries and have it served with the salads if it makes a parent (and child) happy.

Everyone has a different expectation for their meal when they enter a restaurant. It is up to the server to tailor their services for each customer. Good servers are able to do this.

69

Yes because it is a highly presumptuous question. There is never a reason, short of a medical emergency, for a server to sit at a customers table. I don’t care if he is gods gift to women and gay men.

70

elbows, Minnie Luna, and whoever else spent a long time as a server, I like your ideas of being able to intuit a group of patrons. When to flirt and when not to, for instance.

Serious question – are you able to predict when there will be a natural break in a conversation? I’m interested in your take on interrupting.

71

In all my years of food service, I never saw a server sit down to take an order. That sounds really bizarre to me. And it’s completely inappropriate to ask.

I agree that most of the list in the OP just sounds snotty and classist and entitled. Some of the items on the list are really nitpicky (“Don’t serve the wine in an ice bucket?” “Don’t talk to other servers?” Go fuck yourself). Some are outside the servers control (“Don’t serve anything creepy?” WTF does that mean, and how is the server responsible for it?). Some are things that wouldn’t happen anyway.

The level of social superiority some people feel entitled to over the promise of a 5 dollar tip is ridiculous. The guy who wrote this list is begging to have his drink stirred with somebody’s dick.

Somebody should write a list of rules for the customers. THOSE are the real assholes.

72

OK, I can understand this. It doesn’t bother me, personally, but I can see where it could upset someone else. :slight_smile:

73

See other thread.

Waitstaff asking to sit down? That’s so outside of my experience that I’m having trouble even picturing it.

74

Me too. I don’t get it. But seeing people get apoplectic over something so innocuous is hilarious. It’s like getting pissy over “Good day” because someone somewhere is having a bad one. I do get a sense of satisfaction out of using, “No problem” because there really is nothing wrong with it but I know someone somewhere is pissed.

Oh, come on, if asking, “Are you waiting for someone” is making them feel bad, then they shouldn’t leave the house without smelling salts. I suppose you could say, “Table for one?” but if someone says “Are you waiting for someone” who cares?

75

Edit window over, sorry.

Maybe at a super high end restaurant, but…I don’t know. Lots of times I see waiters/waitresses who are off duty but are eating a meal. At the Chinese place I go to a lot the woman in front who seats people or takes the orders does that…and lots of other times I’ve seen this.

This whole thing feels so gross. I agree with Dio. It reeks of, “You are here to SERVE.” Maybe I’m overly sensitive since I just watched a bit of Edwardian Manor House (the PBS show) this weekend, and am smarting from all the creepy “Servants should impale themselves rather than do anything that MIGHT offend their masters” vibe.

76

The best way is “How many?” That’s about all I ever hear.

77

If it’s rockin’ busy, like at lunch, I really don’t have time to wait for a natural break in the conversation. And, truth is, I’m not there to ask if everything is okay so much as present myself at your disposal if there is anything you forgot to ask for, find you need, have a question regarding, etc.

Customers largely can see you’re rockin’ busy. Big smile, when they look up, whether or not they are still speaking, “Sorry, everything okay?”, they nod, and I’m gone, they resume their conversation without pause. With a little practice it’s not that hard.

If they clearly find this interruption untimely, it will be evident, they won’t make eye contact or pause their conversation, if I can’t wait around 'cause I’m too busy, I will look to see that everyone has tasted their food and disappear. Like I said, I’m giving you the opportunity to speak up if I’ve missed something or you need something.

Sit down at the table to take an order? Sorry, that would get you fired from any restaurant I’ve ever worked in, pub to swish fine dining.

78

Not eating in front of the customers is another good one. Most places I’ve worked would prefer you don’t, some had a hard fast rule.

And I can understand it really. The customers have no way of knowing that you’ve been working 10hrs and just need food. This, understandably happens when the restaurant is very busy, Christmastime etc. It is possible/likely somewhere in that restaurant a customer is looking for their very busy server, or waiting at the door to be seated.

You can see why this would rub them the wrong way. Or, you’ve just been told there is no more spaghetti, but you just saw a server scarfing down an order, (you’re probably mistaken, but you see my point!).

And, in all honesty, working in service tends to train a person to scarf their food back like a starving person, (you’re only getting 10 mins to eat, or, when you come back it’ll be cold!), and that’s not attractive at all.

Owners are right to think that it’s better to provide a server a spot they can scarf down their food unobserved. It’s better for the restaurant and their servers deserve a second away from the hustle and bustle, even if it’s only 10 mins and it’s in the back of the kitchen, it’s more of a break.

Also Murphy’s law says if you sit down at the bar to enjoy your meal, one of your customers will spill their drink or light themselves on fire, trust me.

79

If it’s a place that takes reservations, they WILL ask for your reservation. If they ask if you’re waiting for someone it’s because they DON"T take reservations, and don’t have any other way to find out if anyone will be joining you (and not all restaurants have bars).

The thing is, I have the feeling the guy who wrote this list is the kind of person who would become irate if he was waiting for others, and the host/hostess seated him at a small table without asking.

Incidentally, I can say with some confidence that restaurant staff doesn’t think twice about people dining alone, doesn’t snark on them, doesn’t think a damn thing about it. They snark on customers who are demanding assholes, no matter how many people they’re with.

80

Tells me something about the type of restaurant that you work in.

And it’s not one I’d go to. It’s not about you, it’s about the customer.

Clearly. For most people, though, sharing a meal is a very important social experience. The reason that all plates should be cleared at the same time is to avoid calling undue attention to those who are still eating. I am a slow eater and I hate to be finishing my meal when there are three other people at the table with cleared places. Empty plates I can deal with, but when the table is clear I feel like I’m imposing on everyone.

The better restaurants know what you ordered. At one of the top three restaurants I have ever been to, we were seated next to a table of eight, and when the entrées came there were four servers that came out with eight plates and they all hit the table at the same moment in front of the appropriate diners. Now, that was a very expensive restaurant, but there’s no reason that a server at TGIFriday’s can’t consult a note as to whether it was my wife or me who ordered the ribs.