Can you just imagine this guy going to a lower tier restaurant, telling himself he needs to mix with the hoi polloi once in a while, wincing the whole time?
While I agree that a server should never ask if the guest wants change, I’m a bit iffy on waiting for the guest to ask before bringing the check. If the table is cleared of dishes, the dessert is eaten, and they’re sipping on coffee and have declined refills, I think it’s okay to bring the check. That way the guest has it. They may take their time paying it, but at least they don’t have to hunt the server down.
Surprisingly, the 2nd list isn’t all that bad. Only one really ridiculous item on this list, as opposed to 5+ on that first list.
*97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her. *
Having the customer know the recipe so they can make it at home helps the restaurant how?? (or they could spread it around to other restaurants.)
Where I work (cook, not server), I’ve had people ask me for recipes before, I’ll tell them all the ingredients except 1 or 2 things so that it “just doesn’t taste the same as when we go to <blank>”. Repeat business is CRUCIAL for restaurant success.
Also, who expects the server to know the recipe anyways? That’s not what they do.
I put this up there with steaming off wine labels in the :rolleyes: category.
Yeah, the recipe thing is odd. That UL about the Neiman Marcus cookies always struck me as odd because why would a customer think that a company would just give up their special recipe?
I agree with you and want to add that when a guest has asked for the bill it means that he is prepared to leave so take his money and return the change as quickly as possible.
The recipes from restaurants (especially high end restaurants) are, more often than not, not going to be that easy to reproduce in a home kitchen anyway. A lot depends on having specialized equipment and ingredients.
The second list, I agree with just about everything, except perhaps the not bringing the check until asked. I think it’s perfectly fine to bring the check when it’s pretty clear they’re done, with, of course, the pronouncement of “No hurry, of course; I’ll get that whenever you’re ready”. I’ve eaten at certain restaurants that stand the check up when they put it on the table and advise us to lay it down when we’re ready to pay.
Definitely agree with not asking “do you need change?” Grrrrr, that chaps my hide.
Can’t really disagree with giving a recipe to a patron who gushes over a certain dish. I’d like to have certain recipes from certain restaurants. Just because I know exactly how to make Wonder Bar’s lobster bisque, does not mean I’m going to stop patronizing the restaurant since now I know how to make the bisque at home. I’m going there for the lobster bisque, yes, but also for the service, the ambiance, to get away from cooking for the evening, to enjoy time with my husband, etc.
IME this is something of a European vs. American** etiquette difference, the European etiquette is that it’s rude to bring the check before the customer asks for it, it’s akin to rushing them out the door. Especially if they are still having their drink. The American etiquette is what you’ve said, the check should come before the guest has to ask.
And I agree with madmonk28, you have to consider the context. This is his list for his restaurant, it’s not supposed to apply to every restaurant anywhere.
**I’ve never lived in Europe, but I’ve traveled there a bit. And ‘you have to ask’ is what I’ve observed in NYC and Latin America, and I’m told both operate a bit more like Europe. If you know what I mean then pls let me know if you have a better way to say it.
I always get asked, “Are you still working on that?”
I hadn’t realized how annoying that is until now. And it’s always at some place that serves their food in a plastic basket. I know you’re not running short on napkin-lined baskets, and it won’t take you any longer to bus it with the rest later , so leave me alone to finish this pile of food that’s clearly in front of me.
I get asked this a lot, but I don’t see it as rude. I usually don’t finish everything in front of me because I have something of a small appetite (I’m little!). So I just figure it’s just them not aware if I’ve finished or if I’m taking a break or whatnot. It’s a lot better than, “Whatsamatta, you not like-a the food” or “Eat, eat, you’re nothing but skin and bones.”
Yeah, I’m a pretty slow eater, with a somewhat-smaller-than-normal appetite, and I often get asked “Are you still working on that?”
I notice, in the list, the blogger doesn’t suggest an alternative. Not saying there’s not a better one out there, but I can’t think of one that’s not more offensive than ‘are you still working on that?’ I’d like to see what this would-be restaurateur thinks the server should say? Maybe he thinks they shouldn’t say anything until the diner signals that they’re ready for the check? That might be fine. It would be fine with me. But you’re going to have a percentage of customers who feel ignored if this is the approach. . .
Bottom line, no matter how long your list, someone is going to be offended by something the server does! (Including people who will be offended by the server seeming to have too many ‘rules’ foisted upon him/her).
When I’m done eating, I’ll leave the silverware on the plate and push it off to the side. A good server should take that as a clue to say, “May I clear this away for you?” which is more polite than “Are you still working on that?”
I guess that works, ivylass. I suppose the “Are you still working on that” might bug me if I wasn’t finished and I was just a slow eater but since I’m a fast but just small portioned eater, it doesn’t. I don’t really see “Are you still working on that” as rude in any case. But then, I’m one of those people who doesn’t see “No problem” as biting sarcasm and "Do you need change?"as an example of an impudent young scrap needing to be put in his place.
As norinew points out, there’s probably no way of not offending someone. You just know that old dowager or old guy with the monocle will come in and then you’re screwed.
I don’t get what’s so bad about this. Ok, yes, when I see a $100 bill sticking out of the check presenter and you have a $30 meal, I’ll just say “be right back,” but most of the time the money is hidden inside, so I have no idea how much cash is there, or if it’s a card.
I ask if they want change because if they don’t, it saves me the hassle of having to MAKE change. You can not believe how frustrating that can be. When it’s the start of my shift, and everyone pays with nothing but large bills, I have no way to make change. We have no real cash register (you’ll find this is true in most restaurants.) The bartender has one, but that’s it. Everyone else just keeps all the money they get and makes change from it, and then “cashes out” to the manager at the end of the night. So when I can’t make change from what I have, I first beg and plead to the other servers, none of whom want to give up their small bills, then I ask the bartender, and again, same principle applies, then I have to find the manager (not always easy to do,) and have him open the safe and make change for me from the cash box.
So you can understand why I’d rather know right up front if I need to go through with all that crap.
It means you assumed that there was the possibility that you MIGHT be getting a tip. You need to be put into your place, you rascal. How dare you assume that your betters would reward you for the privilege of waiting on them? Just for that, you get nothing. 
No, really, I don’t get it, but that’s the vibe I get from a LOT of people.
Reading through the second section, I think I see the problem: the way he’s worded the “things”, combined with the wording of the headline, is inconsistent with his statement in the intro that he’s just talking about his own restaurant. I’ll concede the possibility that some editor rewrote things, but I find that unlikely since this is apparently supposed to be a blog.
Actual Headline: “100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do”
Better Headline: “100 Things My Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do”
And the ambiguous wording of some of the rules:
“56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)”
“Whether tips are pooled or not”? Is he planning to let his servers decide amongst themselves from one night to the next whether or not to pool the tips? Because that kind of thing should be decided at the management level, and should be the same from one day to the next. This statement removes the “in my restaurant” intent and implies that he is talking about any restaurant. That said, this particular rule really should be in place in all restaurants; I’m just using it as an example of wording that negates the “in my restaurant” specificity. The parenthetical bit is unnecessary.
“72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.”
Again, nothing wrong with the rule. Given the high-level type of restaurant he’s opening, I would guess that all of his salads are going to be prepared fresh to order. But “it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared” again brings other restaurants into the equation. A better choice of words would be, “the guest may get the impression that the salad was not freshly prepared.”
Rules 91-94, dealing with the music being played.
If his restaurant is going to play background music, then he should be the one deciding what music is approved, and how that music is going to be piped in, and what the source of the music is going to be. Again, given the nature of this restaurant, one can assume that broadcast radio stations are not going to be part of the equation. So why mention them if this list is specific to just his restaurant?
Yep. Never assume there’s going to be a tip. (Of course, I would say, "I will be right back with your change, leaving the guest an opening to say either “Thank you” or “Nope, keep it.” But I never asked if they wanted the change.)
Always good advice.
I’d like to add another: Do not take away the guest’s drink before bringing them another one.
I don’t eat at high-end restaurants often (and even then, my version of a ‘high end restaurant’ is something like Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse) so maybe free refills aren’t an issue there, but if I’m halfway done with my soft drink and you ask me if I want a refill (or even if you don’t ask), leave me the one I have until you’ve replaced it (unless it’s already empty). I don’t like being beverage-less.
Yes, or “May I take your plate?” I too don’t care for the implication that eating is a chore, or that I’m a four-year-old who must finish before I can have a cookie. It also has the benefit of making no comment on what may or may not be left on my plate.
I also assume in high end places (the most high end I’ve been to is Emeril’s) is that it is considered gauche to ask for a doggy bag?