11 Reasons I'm Not Cool. Jump in and join the fun!

In My Humble Opinion
21
  1. No matter how short I keep my hair, I am unable to control it.
  2. I frequently mismatch the various parts of my clothing- a day when pants, shirt, socks and shoes all match is a red-letter day indeed.
  3. I rearrange my schedule when a new episode of Buffy is airing.
  4. My ‘classics’ section is bigger than the one at the local bookstore. (Addendum: I know that ‘classics’ really should refer to Greek and Roman, and the bookstore doesn’t. But if it did, my collection would still be bigger than theirs.)
  5. I love being in school, and would much rather be pursuing my PhD than working.
  6. I belong to the Society for Creative Anachronism.
  7. I was kissed by a stranger who mistook me for someone else recently, and it was the first time anyone had kissed me in a decade.
  8. I own flattering contact lenses, but frequently wear the pop-bottle eyeglasses just because they’re more comfortable.
  9. I think They Might Be Giants is the best band in the world.
  10. I love my Toyota Echo- because I think it’s attractive, and doesn’t look at all like someone stepped on a Beetle.
  11. I actually took time to write this list. And to proofread it carefully.
22
  1. I write fanfic.
  2. I smoke, drink, eat red meat and cook with lard.
  3. I drink a lot of coffee, and it’s plain old American joe.
  4. I think thongs look horribly uncomfortable and would never wear a pair.
  5. I am fascinated by dollhouses and miniatures.
  6. I cook, clean, bake and sew.
  7. I like to polka.
  8. I have a hat collection.
  9. I lust after the unabridged OED.
  10. I detest sushi.
  11. Pasta, schmasta–they’re noodles.
23
  1. Owns many Billy Joel cd’s
  2. Still has the Nirvana Poster up
  3. hates shopping for clothes
  4. is extremely pale
  5. likes her job
  6. Collects Dolls
  7. likes quite a lot of the music of the 80’s
  8. but wishes that Chicago alternative station Q101 would play"Industrial Zone" again
  9. likes the rain and thunder
  10. does not drive well
  11. finds it great fun to take the train
24

  1. Winning the National Spelling Bee was a dream of mine until 8th grade.

  2. I watch C-SPAN.

  3. I get giddy on Election Day.

  4. I get choked up during the national anthem. Always have.

  5. One of the coolest presents I ever got was a leather briefcase my sophomore year in high school.

  6. I worry that my music is too loud and might disturb people.

  7. I love talk radio.

  8. I never acted out or did things just to anger/annoy my parents.

  9. I give all peace officers the benefit of the doubt.

  10. I ran a serious campaign for class president my senior year of high school. I even had a real platform. :rolleyes:

  11. My dad thinks I’m cool.

25
  1. I have not had any sort of relationship with any woman ever.
  2. That includes kissing.
  3. I am the only student at my university not to own a single article of Abercrombie and Fitch clothing.
  4. I spend my weekends reading the History of Middle Earth series instead of partying and talking to girls (see #1 and #2)
  5. I have downloaded Tengwar fonts onto my computer
  6. I cannot come up with any more reasons why I am uncool
26
  1. I still wear Izod shirts.
  2. Queen is the coolest band in the world.
  3. I dress for comfort, not style.
  4. I am so a mama’s boy.
  5. I have yet to see LOTR or AOTC, but I did see HP.
  6. I keep my socks pulled up at all times.
  7. I care, dammit.
  8. Back in 5th grade I was the “Fire Prevention Chief” for the school.
  9. I was in the National Honor Society.
  10. I married a high-school teacher.
  11. I still don’t get Tenacious D.
27

  1. Reading these other lists makes me envious about how cool you guys are.

  2. I say “you guys” when referring to a bunch of people regardless of the actual gender of said people.

  3. I hate shopping for clothes for myself but have no problem shopping for clothes for my husband.

  4. Because of #3, I still have underwear from 6 years ago and I wear my husband’s socks regularly.

  5. When I do go shopping for clothing (for myself), it is generally at a thrift store. Shopping at Target or T.J. Maxx is a big splurge for me. I go into sticker shock very easily.

  6. Despite # 3, #4, and #5 I really wish I had a cool wardrobe. I know good style when I see it, I just have a hard time emulating it.

  7. I hate wearing bras and did not wear them for several years in my 20’s. I also rarely wore underwear during this time. I still have days where I will not wear one or the other (or both).

  8. I’d love to look all girly pretty but frankly am baffled by all of the methods girly-girls use to get that way. When I look at a fashion type mahazine (i.e. Cosmo) it is like reading National Geographic. I feel as though I am reading about a different culture.

  9. I like an embarrassing number of Journey songs. In general my musical tastes run towards “Alternative” so this is especially embarrassing when hanging out with certain people I know.

  10. I sing in the car. Loudly. Even when other people are in the car.

  11. I dance around like an idiot when certain songs are played (like Queen “Another One Bites the Dust.” ) I can’t help myself.

28

You got the cows? Well, now I need the pigs! Matchies!

And speaking of the OP:

  1. I think it’s groovy to have matching PJs with my friends.

  2. Seventh Heaven used to be my favorite show. (Then when the kids got all dumb and obnoxious, I tried to watch Touched by an Angel instead, but I couldn’t take it. I just couldn’t take it.)

  3. I like Level 42 (yep, sidle, it was me).

  4. Same as alice_in_wonderland’s #4 (and why is that, BTW?).

  5. My song for the dogs this morning was:

I sing the puppy electric
I celebrate the dog yet to come
I toast when puppies go potty
and poopies come out of their bums…

  1. I’m not nearly that creative once I’m fully awake.

  2. One of my best friends is a 15-year-old kid (we do not have matching PJs).

  3. Auntie Mame (a la Rosalind Russell) is my idol.

  4. I love the number 9, so I’ll stop here.

29

OMG. I invent silly songs for my dogs all of the time. My favorite:

She’s Proxy, the dog that loves to hop (and hop and hop and hop).
She’s Proxy, the dog that never stops (don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop).
She’s Proxy, beloved friend of Ping.
She’s Proxy, the dog of which we sing!

The words in parenthesis are for the (imaginary) back up singers. The song is sung in the style of a musical with an almost marching band like tempo.

I am a big dork.

30

But Octavia, you know what’s funny? My aunt just sent me a newspaper clipping about how knitting is now so very “in” and listed celebrities like Julia Roberts and Russell Crowe as avid knitters!

Dude, we are cool! :slight_smile:

31

auntie em, this is another reason I’m not cool…I dragged Don into Kohl’s with me over the weekend so I could purchase another pair of those pj pants. Now I have cows and pigs and it took all of my being not to buy cats and some dog ones too.

32

Well, if it’s any consolation, I will probably be dragging my mother (sometime during our weekly sleepover) to Kohl’s to get the pigs!

That would be #10 for me:

I spend every Friday night having a sleepover with my 72-year-old mother… and I like it. We stuff our faces with fatty, greasy, and sugar-filled foods, we watch four straight hours of television (we love Reba) and then get up and make breakfast together in the morning. The dogs each get a piece of bacon.

Shit. That’s like #10, 11, 12, 13, and 14! :eek:

33

Wow. After reading this thread I’ve decided I’m so cool.

And that, my friends, is why I’m not cool.

34

OMG! You have imaginary backup singers? You are the coolest person EVER! :smiley:

Doubly so, in fact, because apparently you make up your own tunes for the dogs as well! I just rip off songs that already exist, and change the words a little.

35

  1. I love my winnie the pooh p.j.'s

  2. still call them pj’s

  3. I like country music.

  4. i crochet and decoupage.

  5. I sleep with a teddy bear.

  6. I sing out loud… EVERYWHERE… even to elevator music.

  7. my first concert was Belinda Carlisle.

  8. Can put together a computer.

  9. Love comics, buffy, reading… proofreading

  10. I believe my rabbits understand me

  11. Can think of AT LEAST 11 more reasons why im not cool :slight_smile:

36

This thread is great! I’m finding lots of women to add to my little black book… :slight_smile:

37
  1. I love deeply love Trek. ( I could probably stop right there)
  2. I could count the number of sexual encounters I’ve had on one hand (make that the palm, you get my drift)
  3. I dress for comfort. Hey I’m the one wearing them.
  4. I hate soap operas with a vengance (If you think “real life” matters so much, why watch a poor imitation of it on TV?)
  5. I detest night clubs, discos etc (If you can talk to or hear anyone whats the point)
  6. Knock on effect from 5. I hate dancing (So you want to throw your body about at random, cool I’ll be away getting pissed)
  7. Spectating sport interests me little (Great, some people are physically exerting themselves, I’m away for a walk)
  8. When our cats were alive I talked to them and made up silly names for them
  9. I deeply desire to have a techy geeky knowledge of computers
  10. I get annoyed at people who cant see the point of SF
  11. I’ve done none of the things young people are supposed to do like travel places and meet lots of new people
  12. The people on this thread sound quite ok to me
  13. I hate trashy whiny pop and stupid thumpy dance music jeTHro tUll rULeZ (uh, I think)
  14. **I want my first car (any car I ever own in fact) to be a 1960-1970s British saloon - Triumph Dolomite mmmmmm :slight_smile: **
38

  1. When I have to do boring chores (in other words, all chores) or I’m in a funky mood in general, I wear my special hats (in private) to make myself feel better. In heavy rotation are my pirate captain hat, and my Little Bo Peep bonnet.

  2. I am a total Star Wars geek, and all that entails. I have a special “Star Wars best friend” (whom I met on the internet, natch) and we have special secret Star Wars things that we say.

  3. I have an elaborate fantasy involving me being the owner of an NFL team. Now, on the surface, that might actually be cool (in the world of sports geeks, not the real, actual world), because certainly I have lots of ideas about personnel and policy and league governance and things like that. However, in the further adventures of “I Was the Love Child of John Madden and Martha Stewart,” the fantasy also involves things like what I would wear to the various games, and what menus I would create for my owner’s box and how I would decorate it.

  4. I don’t think I’ve purchased any music that was created after about 1987 or so, which was the year I graduated from high school.

  5. I think Neil Diamond rocks.

  6. I memorized the periodic table of the elements, because it seemed like a cool thing to know.

  7. My proudest moment from the last few years was when Monsignor said that my cat was the BEST BEHAVED PET of all the pets at church on the Feast of St. Francis. To me, this was a religious moment akin to having a talking bush go on fire in my front yard. In fact, I picture myself arriving in heaven, and before St. Peter has a chance to look me up in his book, I’ll get a snarky look on my face and say in a stage whisper “oh, you can probably skip the book. After all, my cat was the BEST BEHAVED PET of all the pets! Excuse me, Mother Theresa, you’re in my way.”

  8. I get very excited about finding the new state quarters.

  9. I have a charm bracelet, and buy charms for it when I go on vacation.

  10. My favorite thing at work is a stapler that I got in Italy (a Romeo Maestri Primula 6), and it only takes one kind of special Italian mini-staples, which I have mailed over from Florence. Whenever I have to staple something, I pause for a moment and think about how much I love my stapler. It’s the little things that get me through the day.

  11. When I need to make 246 copies of something at work, on yellow paper, and I grab a stack of yellow paper and it turns out to be 246 sheets exactly – well, let me tell you, I get such a high that I have to sit down and think quiet thoughts.

  12. I am obsessed with Theodore Roosevelt.
    Geek bonding moments –

trishdish, omg, I LOVE Pet Miracles! Pet Miracles is the best show ever!

squish, I have a dollhouse and I spend many happy geeky hours making stuff for my dollhouse and re-arranging everything, only to always put it back exactly the way it started out.

New geek moment – I thought it was beyond cool that the two people with whom I found a special geek connection in this thread have names that rhyme.

39

1- infinity: I’m cool.

40

  1. I was incredibly addicted to that show “The Bachelor”.
    For the finale, I bought a new silky bathrobe and lounged on the bed with a glass of red wine.

  2. I am afraid of butterflies. They really gross me out. Don’t even start on stingrays.

  3. My bra and panties have to match, or I will not be so happy.

  4. I don’t own a single pair of shorts, and only 3 pairs of pants, all black. I wear skirts ALL THE TIME.

  5. I adore V8 juice.

  6. When I see something really adorable (puppu, baby, SO, etc.)
    I will clench my teeth, giving myself a headache.

  7. I know virtually zip about pop music culture, and listen to am radio or NPR almost exclusively.

  8. I got fired from my first job at the Record Bar-was always late.

  9. I think that I have lots more rhythm than the average person. Apparently this is not true.

  10. I got in a fender bender last September, and am continually too cheap to shell out the deductible to fix the hood, which is slightly crumpled on one side. My car looks like Billy Idol coming down the highway.

  11. I’ve been here almost a year, and I’m still not sure if Cecil Adams is a real person.