If you think that’s bad, try growing up in a Presbyterian church where 85% of the members are over age 65. It was like attending god’s waiting room every Sunday.
And they made “Amazing Grace” sound like a dirge.
I stopped going when I was 15 or so. I realized my mother couldn’t physically make me go, so I just refused. Best decision ever.
How about since then?
I have the sense that the OP is in college; and that during summer, winter and spring breaks from college, he comes back tot he old homestead; and that as a condition of letting him stay rent-free in his old room, he is required to participate in the family’s church-attendance routine.
How’d I do, OP?
I’d consider going to that church.
Actually, you only need one reason:
I’m not the OP, but yes, you did a pretty good job guessing what was explicitly written in point #8 of his original post. Are you psychic? 
Oh, crap. Well, you know, ya see enough of those clickbait-type posts, you’re bound to skim one once in a while. :smack:
OP, why don’t you volunteer in the Sunday school, or babysitting toddlers in the nursery? That’d get you out of waker-upper duty, anyway, and you wouldn’t have to sit through the sermons…
Convert to Judaism and sleep in on Sundays.
I doubt it. That at least might be interesting enough to keep everyone awake, if only by angrying up the blood.
To clarify: don’t go. If you’re worried about God, I PROMISE you that God doesn’t care one way or the other.
I was wondering the same thing. If it was auto-correct, can’t argue with the accuracy of its results, though.
I could see where the OP might find that stuff less than likable, but I can’t see it being the sort of service where his whole family would have trouble staying awake.
Or does he juggle live geese?
The neat thing about paying the bills is that you can make the decisions.
Convert to atheism and embrace your inner sloth.
There’s a church where members handle live poisonous snakes. I’m betting they don’t sleep through the sermons. Perhaps a change in denomination is in order.
Then your kids get into organized soccer leagues and you lose your weekends again. You just can’t win.
All of those words are English, and yet they make no sense together.
The only thing I truly hated about visiting my Dad back when I was a teen. He would force me to go to church with him. Nothing more boring than church, NOTHING.
He also forced me to recite rosary prayers with him every night. I think this is a catholic thing? You repeat a series of prayers over and over again while moving down the rosary beads. I wanted to kill myself half way through that stupid ritual.
One weekend, I waited for him to get in the shower, got his rosary, cut the cord, and started removing beads, in the hopes that the prayer session would be shortened.
He noticed.
Does Geritol make a product for angry blood?
I’m with you. Church makes me uncomfortable. I can’t really explain why. It just does. Maybe I’m the real-life Damien. :eek: