There is a thread around here somewhere with instructions on “How to Quit”.
See you at the Post Office.
That was autocorrect. It was suppsoed to say rapist.
Hey! That is unfair. They’re child rapists and child rapist supporters/enablers.
St. Peter: Hold up there, Kinthalis’ Dad. Looks like you did pretty good in Arena Earth, but you fell a bit short on the rosary prayers. Afraid we can’t let you in. Your case has been remanded to Satanic Services. We’re very sorry.
I pretty much hated church, too. Not so much the HVAC because Mormons pretty much have that bit down. But I really hated the hypocrisy in both doctrines and behavior of the church members. Our ward president lived in a humongous house with his wife and 3 kids–fine, he was reaping the fruits of his labors, and who knows what sort of charity work he may have done on the side. But his job was in management at a local bank. Not deposits & withdrawals, but mortgage foreclosures. In short, the ward president was in charge of getting poor people to be homeless people. Sure, business, contract law, all that…but still pretty far removed from Jesus I thought.
Here’s how my sister handled that problem: She found a job and asked her manager to schedule her for every single Sunday possible. She never had to go to church again. She moved out and lived on her own on her 18th birthday, thanks to all those extra Sunday hours.
(I believed she scoped out apartments and put a deposit on a place but could not legally sign the lease until she turned 18. The morning of her birthday, she went and signed the lease, paid the first month’s rent, and started loading up her car. My dad was scratching his head, “Where is she going?” “She’s moving out dad.” “She is?” “Yes, she’s been telling you for months that she’s moving out first thing after she turned 18. You didn’t believe her? She hasn’t changed her story once.”)
ETA: I’m also a survivor of mormonism. I handled the problem (and the OP sounds suspiciously like mormon services, but I may be projecting) by trotting off to college a week after high school graduation. I got a summer school scholarship and boom, I dipped right outta there. Moved from my mormon parents’ house to my nonmormon mom’s house by spring break of my freshman year, so I too, did not look back after I turned 18.
Hmmm, what if my godlessness and deviousness DID 'cause him not to get into Catholic Heaven?
You’re welcome dad! Miss you!
Volunteer to do something during the services that requires you to be there half an hour before and half an hour after services, and make your mom get out the door early and sit on her heels for an extra hour when she doesn’t want to be there.
Go on Wednesdays.
Go to bed earlier.
Your mom sounds like a bitch.
Find a new church where people are nice.
Ok.
Wow, what a bitch.
Super bitch.
Super duper bitch.
Find a church with air-conditioning.
Sounds like you have crabs. You should see a doctor.
Read the Old Testament where all the fun and neat stuff happens.
Did you read the parts with the rape and incest?
Great advice for the OP!
The OP is living with his parents during the summer for “obvious financial reasons.”
Perhaps he should consider how many hours per week he’d have to work to pay his summer room & board. The job will probably not be “interesting.” Then he can weigh the hours spent at a boring job versus the hours spent at a boring church service & make the decision.
Of course, if they are underwriting any of his college expenses, it gets more complicated.
Maybe the OP can hide a good book inside the Good Book.
Go to church = go to heaven. And/or go to church = be one of us. Being bored has probably become part of the sacrifice. It’s not a nuanced theology.
Devious. This has possibilities. Does your church have a child care room or sunday school classes that you could help out with?
Or a smart phone.
That is not the holy spirit, that is you standing with your knees locked.
Serious question. I don’t do church, but I do bars, cafes, etc where most people occasional or constantly check their phone. So, do people in church seriptitiously check their messages/email/Facebook/Untapped?
Not that I’ve graced the inside of a church in the smartphone era, but for Christians I’d imagine it would be quite easy under the guise of looking up a verse in your Bible app.
Depends on the church. In evangelical churches with a lot of youth, maybe - every once in a while (if you do it too much someone will notice - I mean its different than a bar or cafe in that you are supposed to pay attention while there, like being in class in school). In mainline Protestant churches, there would be no way to get away with checking your phone as there still tend to be hymnbooks and printed Bible readings, so no reason why you would need your phone out.
As an Atheist its a strange situation having self professed Christian friends who don’t try to habitually save me. Either they don’t care I will burn in hell fire, or don’t really buy the schtick. There I no middle road.
If they’re forcing you to go, go. And ask lots of difficult questions. Preacher preaching about morality? Bring up the Euthyprho Dilemma. Act like you just stumbled upon these things, and that they’re bothering you and hurting your faith. Don’t disturb the lectures, but ask. Sooner or later, they’ll stop making you come.
Yeah, how’d that work out for Jesus?