Regarding natural selection, I doubt our distant progeny will need to develop additional epicanthic folds around their eyes to protect them from the glaring sun of the Asian steppes, since we all have sunglasses. I also doubt white skin will spread again as a result of random mutation in our descendants in order that they get sufficient Vitamin D, because, unless some disaster sends us back into the stone age, or a nuclear winter, we have sufficiently advanced and varied dietary options that will negate the need for selecting that mutation again. I guess it would be handy if our species eventually evolved large numbers of individuals with immunities to AIDS and Mad Cow Disease, but Modern Medicine is liable to solve those problems before evolution can.
I wonder, will the individuals posting complaints in About This Message Board and the posters “complaining about people around here” in The BBQ Pit receive similar words of advice from you, Marley? Or is it just me?
If I had a child or family member that was bullied, I was encourage them to pick up a metal pipe or brick until the individuals stopped moving. It is mind-boggling how many people believe that you can say what you want (no matter how hurtful) to others without repercussions or consequences. You all must’ve idyllic childhoods, bless your hearts. But for the rest of us, words matter: if they didn’t, some 12 year old - who could have been a future doctor, scientist, medic, or teacher - would not be lying six feet under the ground. Given that these children cannot rely on adults (teachers, principals, etc) for protection, force should be met with force until the bullying stops, the bully being wheeled out of the school in an ambulance, or the adults take their job as teachers and mentors seriously.
You’d be wrong. I don’t much care how bad your childhood was, murder is not a sensible response to bullying. There has to be a sense of proportion.
You’ve confused repercussions and consequences with killing people. I’m pretty sure there’s some middle ground.
Except the person who does the bullying is also a future doctor or scientist. Some bullies are probably crazy people with no remorse, but it’s more likely that most of them are stupid kids who will get better (at least a little bit) in time. So advising kids to murder other kids does have some potential drawbacks.
You’ve forgotten one more option: the bullies get together and beat you into a coma and pee on you. The whole ‘if you stand up to a bully theyll respect you’ thing is bullshit. They just fight back harder. If you hurt one, the rest will kill you. If you get one in trouble, the rest will kill you. If you stand up to all of them, they’ll all kill you. Bullies do it because they know there’s nothing you can do.
Not to mention the fact that when you bludgeon one of them and say ‘but he was bullying me’ you’re the one that will get in trouble. Everyone will go ‘it was just words’ or ‘its just kids being kids’ or some other bullshit that shows they dont get it. He’ll be in the hospital and you’ll be in jail.
You’re absolutely correct here. The justice system doesn’t recognize words as having the same impact as fists. It’s quite a shame because social defeat leads to increased Substance P release in the brain, which is the exact neural pathway that physical pain uses. For the brain, there is no difference between words and the physical, both can be sharpened into dagger and used to wound someone.
[QUOTE=Marley23]
You’d be wrong. I don’t much care how bad your childhood was, murder is not a sensible response to bullying. There has to be a sense of proportion.
[/QUOTE]
I’m not advocating murder, simply compulsory hospitalization.
Then the violence should escalate until adults become involved. Adults don’t care about children they’re being paid to monitor, therefore, the best way to ensure they’re protected is encourage your children to beat the living shit out of the bully. It’s not like the adults are looking/monitoring anyway.
[QUOTE=Really Not That Bright
Honesty, in all seriousness: are you mentally ill? [/QUOTE]
No, I just think violence should be used as a means to stop bullying. I apologize if it offends you or if you think bullies should be able to terrorize others without consequences.
Whenever I told the kids who threatened to kill or rape me that doing so would land them in jail, they would reply, “No, we won’t. We’re juveniles.” And they were probably right, in part because one of them was the son of a Federal judge.
My younger sister was later friends with his sister for a while, and I told our parents to never, ever let her go over to their house. Even though my parents always blamed me for the bullying I experienced (and yes, they wonder why I don’t visit much) they weren’t about to because they knew he was a Very Bad Kid. I wouldn’t be surprised to turn on CNN or the Internet one day and find out that he’s been arrested for a white collar crime and someone linked him to all the missing prostitutes. :eek: Even though he graduated something like 5th in a class of almost 500, that didn’t keep parents from keeping their own children away from him if at all possible. His own parents knew this, and they bought their son’s “friendships” by things like allowing him to have keggers as early as 7th grade, which was where part of his bad reputation originated. When we were in high school, he stalked me relentlessly and even tapped our phone. I know this because he walked up to me at school one day and told me who I’d spoken to the evening before, and what we talked about. I couldn’t tell my parents about it because…well, you can guess.
Which reminds me, the girl who wanted her brothers to rape me was from a family who were our part of town’s biggest dope pipeline. There were 7 kids in this family; most of them were known to be sexually active and using drugs while still in elementary school, and got away with it because they were all intelligent, and had considerable musical and (here’s the main thing) athletic talent. Goes without saying that they were Caucasian too. Not much anyone can do when they’re selling drugs to teachers, police officers, and others in authority.
I’ve got to say that when I found out that gang people shoot their rivals not to kill, but to leave them paralyzed with a colostomy, I thought of a few people who might have deserved that (no, not really).
Honesty, I stood up to bullies my whole life, and all through school, the only reason I wasn’t expelled multiple times is because the 4.00 grade average swayed some of the administrators to punish rather than expel. I will say clearly … don’t do as I have done. Do not stand and fight bullies. It is absolutely the worst option. Only fight if death or crippling is the only alternative. Give up your money, your property, your clothes, your reputation, but don’t fight unless you are really in fear of death or very serious bodily harm.
I regrettably made the mistake of standing up to bullies because my father was a boxer and he taught me to fight along with how to ride a bike and throw a baseball. I was confident and also knew he wouldn’t object to me standing up for myself. Dozens of injuries (some still plague me) and thousands of dollars paid by my parents in dental bills and emergency room visits mostly for unruly classmates, and a couple of court settlements, are evidence that fighting is wrong, it’s a bad choice, and should be a last resort.
Honesty, there are two kinds of bullies: the blowhard who maintains a reputation by picking on weaker victims, and hardly ever has to back it up with real violence. This is also the mentality of the intellect-nerd who will taunt you, gang up on you, or libel/ slander you, especially now with the internet. Then there’s the other kind of bully, the one who is either tough enough to beat you down, or always travels in packs and will gang-stomp you, or is a psychopath and will find some way to hurt you or your family or your pets without leaving evidence.
The first type of bully grows up to insult strangers on a message board, or to taunt a teenager on Facebook … the second type grows up to be a cop, or a biker, or a gang member. You do not want to confuse one type of bully for another. That can get you or your children killed. Real personal face-to-face bullying can turn into gang-style beating or execution in seconds.
Except you’ll be the target of the vast majority of that violence. And if it’s your word against 10 of them, no one is going to believe you. They don’t believe you now, and if you take the first real swing then it’s all your fault, and they’re free and clear. Even if they do get caught it’s likely to be swept under the rug, they might be made to apologize and that’s about all you can expect.
First arrests have been made, at their homes because their parents didn’t want to bring them in. Naturally, the father of one arrestee calls her a “good girl” and says “whatever they’re saying about [his] daughter is not true.” This is the same arrestee who allegedly “posted Saturday on Facebook that she bullied Rebecca and she didn’t care.” The sheriff calls her “very cold” and says she “had no emotion at all upon her arrest.”
If that’s a good girl, I’d hate to see what daddy thinks is a bad one. He and the other parents could be facing obstruction charges.
If you use the same alias on a lot of sites, that name effectively becomes your internet ID. Your friends use it to follow you. People recognize you. It’s what allows internet communities to practice the kind of FOAF-based word-of-mouth trust that you see in fandoms, boards, and other communities – including this one, where members sometimes (later) meet face to face.
Moving to new sites and changing a long-established consistent username is about as easy as moving to a new town and changing your real name. In order to escape a deeply crazy situation several years ago, I had to give up a net.nick I had been using for fifteen years. I’m still not done being pissed about that.
So yes, aliases are useful. But no, they are often not as ephemeral as you think.