Old business: as the current year passes into the shadows, the Judging Panel is close to wrapping up the final rankings out of the thousands of entrants in the 2025 Pool; results to be anounced on January 1st, or soon after, or maybe not so soon; one of the perks of running this racket is you can neither win nor lose unless you try to bend the rules which I’m sorry to say a few people have attempted.
But now is the time to look forward to a new Pool, and here it is.
Choose 13 certifiably dead Celebrities. How hard can that be?
Real people, not fictional characters who never existed thus cannot have died.
Go ahead and double-space your entries. What the hell difference does it make? I have nothing but pity for the Death Mistress in that other pool, whose attempts to enforce a single-space, one-name-per-line rule have been widely flouted. I think they’re doing it on purpose.
No deadline to enter. Go ahead and submit your list in July or November or whenever you like. Dead is Dead and it ain’t gonna get any deader.
If one of your Dead People comes back to life within the year, please let me know - it matters.
Entrants will be judged on Originality as well as Funniness. Think hard before you press the Submit button, no takebacks, don’t even ask.
No need to include Generalisimo Franco this time around. That joke has run its course.
Please try and include some ladies in your list. I shouldn’t have to say this. Being dead is an Equal-Opportunity state of non-being.
Okay, I’ll start us off now:
Gert Frobe
Richard Deacon
Billy Sol Estes
Jay Silverheels
Bebe Rebozo
Lloyd Thaxton
Helen of Troy
Howard Johnson
Nellie Melba
Mile-a-Minute Murphy
Ma Barker
Maria Montez
Bill Bixby
There, that’s mine. Think you can top that? Go ahead and try! Bad luck!