Popping back in to say thanks and keep the ideas coming!
Some have said “time to cut the cord” and I agree in general but as a reminder, he’s mildly autistic so that changes things up. If that weren’t at play he’d be a college graduate by now anyway.
Point 2, I agree, though I’ve got a list (below) to get him started.
Point 1, the trips to Baltimore were day trips, no accommodations required, and it would be an easy drive for us to go fetch him if needed. VERY different dynamic. New York or some other major east-of-the-Mississippi city would be a good dry run. Again: mild autism, and something that wouldn’t phase you or I at that age might be disastrous for him.
I’m used to US airlines being VERY strict re changes (and charging you through the wazoo if you fly back earlier or later than planned). Is that outdated thinking? Should we encourage him to fly on an non-US airline for the across-the-pond bit?
Travelling solo / hostels: My thinking is (as others have noted) that he’ll likely meet up with people and perhaps travel further with them.
I think tomorrow I’ll sit down with him and make a list of stuff he needs to do:
passport
what kind of daily budget: what does a hostel cost in several cities, what would he need for food, what are train or cheap airline tickets like
Emergency procedures (critical documents photocopied and stored online)
Contact the phone company re options
tentative dates and look up airfares
discussion with his employer - I’d rather he not quit his job if avoidable, but taking 3 weeks off might make them grumble (he works at a grocery store so there should be SOME flexibility… I hope)
Plan an overnight to New York
A rough itinerary with the understanding it might change (and let us know if major deviations)
Arrange for a credit card with a higher limit - he has one we cosigned on, 4 years ago, but the limit is only 500 dollars.
And he’d need that to be a pin-and-chip card, right? US cards are just now getting chipped but we don’t use PINs.
With three weeks, I’d plan no more than six, and more reasonably five separate destinations. The main opportunities for chaos when traveling are around transportation, finding and checking in to hotels, and trudging through town with your luggage. Fewer destinations means more time for actually experiencing the places you go to, and less opportunity for things to go wrong.
Research packing, and in particular packing extremely light. Beyond being more pleasant, the lighter you pack, the more nimble and less conspicuous you are, and that makes you safer. I suggest packing his backpack while he is wearing it, having him go walk around the block a few times, and then deciding what you really need.
Research common scams. Once you know what they are, they are easy to spot.
Unless you somehow control the pursestrings, or have legal guardianship, I don’t know how this is any of your business. Autism or not, he is a grown man and can do what he wants. I really think you need to stay completely out of it even if you are paying.
Europe is generally quite safe, especially for men, with the exception of the former Soviet Union. (I’m referring to violent crime rates, not politics).
Why not get a few books and have him do the research? Maybe you can all read the books and then compare notes. The important thing is that he should be driving this if it’s important to him, with your gentle support. Put another way, he’s about to go off on his on for an extended period. He needs to start building and demonstrating some of those skills now. Also, the more he does now to plan this, the more he will have internalized and in his toolkit when he gets there.
Fretful Porpentine (I suspect I mangled that spelling) mentioned taking a student group overseas. Perhaps he would have a standardized packing list he could share with you?
Tell him to alert his bank and credit card company that he’ll be traveling overseas (you can usually do this online). Otherwise, they may suspect that the card has been stolen and put a block on his account.
I’m a “she,” but I’ll copy and paste the advice we gave students about packing. For obvious reasons, you can ignore the bits about bringing textbooks and a laptop; and for a “traveling around” type trip, I’d go lighter on the clothing, but insist on a good hiking backpack and NOT a wheeled suitcase.
I travelled through a few European countries recently. For the most part we were in relatively large communities. English wasn’t a problem - most everyone spoke english.
However, the same couldn’t be said of Romania. We were in a rural part of Romania, and things may be different in larger population areas, but we found very very few English speakers. Thankfully a Romanian was part of our travel group and he served as translator. Romania is beautiful.
I’d also recommend a money belt, in addition to your regular wallet in your pocket.
The wallet is for daily use. The moneybelt is not.
The moneybelt holds your passport, and emergency cash in case your wallet gets stolen (a few large-denomination bills.) You wear the moneybelt hidden under your shirt at ALL times, including when sleeping at a youth hostel… When you use a communal shower, you put the belt in a plastic bag and take it in the shower with you.
Open a throw-away email account on Yahoo which can be accessed from any computer (including the reception desk at a police station, if necessary!). Use it to store photocopies of your passport and important stuff, like the barcode on your plane ticket, phone numbers to notify the bank of a lost credit card , etc.
There’s no need to be paranoid. Probably nothing bad will happen at all. But you are on your own, so don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If your backpack gets lost/stolen, and it contains your phone, your passport, credit card and your money–you’re going to be stranded helplessly and there’s nobody within 3 thousand miles who cares.
I know Fretful Porpentine’s list recommends not bringing any sleeping materials, and I am not sure what is standard today, but when I went in the early 90s, it was common for one to bring a flat sheet, sewn into a sleeping bag, when staying at the hostels. That way one’s body only contacted that surface as opposed to mattresses and bedding of undetermined cleanliness (if you know what I mean).
Also, echoing chappachula’s recommendation on a money belt.
Additionally, a small daypack can be handy if staying in one place for a few days - as long as the big backpack can be locked-up somewhere.
I have a small picture book for travel with photos of just about everything you might ever need–toilet, doctor, all the way through different donesses (?) of steak. Can’t remember the name and have never used it but it might be a great resource for yor son.
Would also second the flip flops/shower shoes. In hostel showers or similar quality it’s probably better not to go in barefoot.
He finally got formal approval to take the time off work - and STILL HAS NOT GOTTEN HIS PASSPORT. This is with a departure date of next Tuesday. He tried making an appointment at the passport agency (we live just outside Washington DC) but they wouldn’t do it until he had travel tickets. Which he’s finally purchasing tonight.
I had been pushing him to apply for a credit card with a larger limit - he didn’t do THAT until last week. Argh. And did he go to the nearby credit union that offers PIN-and-chip cards? Nope… he applied to the CU where he currently banks (which is fine, but they don’t offer PIN cards).
So I’m hoping he can get in tomorrow or Thursday, and I really hope they can issue it basically on the spot - or he’s out nearly a grand in airfare.
He’s planning on flying into London then immediately taking a train to Paris.
And he said he’s planning on using Couchsurfing for most of his accommodations, hostels where he can’t couchsurf. What’s the etiquette there? Is he expected to bring a sleeping bag? a gift for the host(s)? anything else?
I’ve couchsurfed a bit in Europe- etiquette isn’t exactly fixed, but a (very small, lightweight) sleeping bag, or sleeping bag liner (like snowthx mentioned) is not a bad idea.
As for host gifts, most hosts are pretty upfront if they have expectations; I’ve had requests to bring some groceries (staying somewhere pretty rural), and bringing a few tiny souvenirs from home (fridge magnets from your home town or similar) is a nice touch, but not generally expected.
If he knows anyone who has a couch surfing profile, getting them to leave some reviews on his profile before he leaves is a good idea.
PS, I know you said he’s heading straight though to France from London, but if that changes and he winds up in Bristol, England, which isn’t that far from London, I know the local couchsurfing group, and could probably host in a pinch.
You’re overthinking. He’ll be fine. He’ll embarrass himself a few times, but that’s how you learn socialization. He’ll come back in one piece, more worldly and well-formed.
He’ll meet lots and lots of other travelers, with varying degrees of experience. People are, in general, pretty nice. Even Europeans. People are accustomed nowadays to foreigners erratic behyavior, even autistics.
I’m also high-function autistic, and I had no problem going to places like El Salvador and Syria before I was 25.
One specific suggestion I can offer: I travel with a $50 Android tablet, which gives me (through Google Hangouts) free unlimited phone calling to any North America number wherever there is WiFi. Just activate his Google e-mail account for google-phone. No need for a phone or Simcard. Anywhere. Last month I was phoning home from Somalia.