22-year-old wants to go to Europe, solo

In My Humble Opinion
1

OK, that doesn’t sound SO insane taken out of context, but:

  1. our son (known in my posts on the board as “Dweezil”) is mildly autistic. High functioning, he drives, is holding down a part-time job and going to college part-time, and so on, but still might miss social cues.
  2. He’s never travelled solo before beyond some day trips to Baltimore (we live near Washington DC). He did spend a year away at college in a small town.
  3. He doesn’t speak the language. He studied some Spanish in high school but Spain is not one of the places he’s interested in.

OK, I know 'murricans visit Europe all the time without speaking the language, so I imagine he’d manage - especially with translate functions on his phone, but still (heck, I speak reasonably good French and would be nervous about bumming about Europe).

To make it interesting, one of the places he wants to visit is Galatz (Galati), Romania, because his great-great-grandfather was born there. (the guy escaped from there over a hundred years ago, which one would think should serve as a hint). Not entirely sure what he really wants to do there, but that’s the one stated destination.

First off, we suggested that he do a trial trip to New York for a weekend. Easy train or bus ride from here, he speaks the language and knows the currency, there are plenty of youth hostels, and with Google street view we can even get a sense for the neighborhood they’re in.

And he has to make the arrangements to get a passport (he had one years back but it’s expired).

Logistics if he goes:

Rail passes: I’ve heard of Eurail passes but know nothing about how they work. Do all countries take them? Any issues to be aware of? (I presume sleeping accommodations would NOT be included on the long-distance trains)

Medical care: A friend’s son recently had appendicitis while in Hungary. They had to pay out of pocket for the surgery and hospitalization (600 dollars, which would barely get you a consult in the US, but that’s another topic entirely). Are other countries similarly affordable in emergencies?

Emergencies: Our friends had NOT taken out any travel insurance policies so while I think the airlines worked with them on rebooking their son’s flight back (and daughter’s; his older sister stayed with him) they were in fear of spending a fortune on emergency tickets. Another fellow I knew was badly injured (broken femur requiring 6 weeks of traction) and the airline offered to get him home - for 20,000 dollars (the cost of 4 first-class seats which they’d have to remove to get his gurney on). His employer sorted things out and got him home on a military transport. So anyway, I’d want to have some kind of travel insurance policy in place just in case but I have NO clue how that all works or who’s reputable.

Phone: I gather he’d just go somewhere on landing and get a new SIM card that works there - presumably prepaying for minutes and data at that point. Any idea how much that typically costs? And does a SIM from one country usually work in another?

Safety: We’ve got a very Jewish last name. Any especial worries there - particularly in Romania? He’ll also obviously be travelling under an American passport - any countries where he’d be more subject to hassle than others?

2

How long is he thinking about going for?

3

Travel insurance should be very cheap for someone in that age range. We used this company when I took a student group on a month-long trip to Ireland a couple of years ago, and it was only around $30 per student (although we were lucky enough not to need to use it, so I can’t speak as to the quality of their coverage). Prepaid local SIM cards are also very cheap, usually starting around $30 US in most countries.

It’s harder to make a Eurail pass pay for itself than you might think, unless you’re doing a lot of long-haul train travel in countries where the trains are expensive. I’d suggest mapping out a rough itinerary before purchasing anything and making sure it makes sense for the type of trip he’s planning. If he’s planning a lot of time in eastern Europe, it will probably be cheaper just to buy point-to-point tickets as he goes. (Also, don’t forget that long-distance buses are an option, and in many places they’re cheaper and / or more frequent than trains.)

I’ve never been to Romania, but I’ve traveled a bit elsewhere in the Balkans (Croatia and Bosnia and Herzegovina, back in 2004 when not too many people were going there, and Bulgaria more recently). It’s fine and perfectly safe for a solo traveler, but there’s definitely less infrastructure for travelers than in more commonly touristed places, and it helps to have a little travel experience first; my sense is that he’d probably be best off flying into Budapest or somewhere else that gets a lot of English-speaking tourists, and then working up to Galati once he’s got his feet wet. (A trial trip or two in the US is also a very good idea.) I can’t speak to the Jewish-last-name thing, but I doubt very much that traveling with an American passport would be a problem anywhere.

From what I understand, there are a few issues with scam artists targeting young men, so make sure he gets the “if a pretty girl invites you out to a bar for a drink and it seems too good to be true, it probably is” talk.

4

If he’s been to Baltimore alone, then sending him for a weekend to New York is just a waste.

I suggest that you plan NOTHING for him, you have him do his own planning, including a budget, and then go over the plan with him and suggest the things he hasn’t thought of.

5

I lived in Hungary for a long time, and my father is remarried to a Hungarian colleague. These are my two cents about the current situation in the country:

So long as he sticks to Budapest/Pécs/Györ/Székesfehérvár - big cities, essentially - he’ll be fine. They’re fantastically beautiful cities with some great culinary, artistic and architectural experiences, and while the locals generally do not speak English very well, if at all, they’re very friendly nonetheless.

However, if he intends to travel to rural Hungary, particularly the poorer, eastern regions of the country, I would advise strongly against openly advertising his “very Jewish last name”. There’s a real issue with antisemitism - sometimes of the violent sort - in that region of the country, and having a very Jewish last name won’t be popular.

6

Generally, unless you really want to take trains everywhere and you’re going to take a lot of them (like, on a train every other day), a Eurail pass isn’t worth it. He can buy individual train tickets. And there are often cheap flights (Ryanair, Vueling, etc.) that are even faster and cheaper than rail.

Not speaking the language isn’t really a big deal for practical reasons. There are enough people who speak English in Europe that you can find someone who does if you really need to. And you’d be surprised at how well you can get by with smiling, pointing at stuff, and learning “thank you” and “toilet” in the local language. Commercial transactions for up to 10 of something can be accomplished without even taking off your shoes!

And pretty much everybody at youth hostels speaks English.

That said, it can be disorienting to get lost in a foreign country, or to not be able to do something you expect to be able to do. Since you mention autism spectrum, does he have good coping mechanisms when he gets disoriented or overwhelmed?

Might be good to start in Spain just to lessen the shock? That’s what I did. And after realizing I didn’t really speak Spanish at all well, and it didn’t bother me, I cheerfully went on to places that I had no hope of learning the language (other than “hello”, “thank you” and “toilet”).

7

I don’t know the extent and impact of your son’s autism, so I’ll just give the advice I would ordinarily give to anyone and you can take what applies to you.

Solo travel is my favorite kind. I suggest keeping a loose, flexible itinerary, so take you can spend a lot of a little time in a place. I also strongly suggest hostels over hotels. It’s easy to book them online these days. Unless it’s high season, I usually only book my first night in case the hostel or the city isn’t great.

Don’t overthink language. It’s really just not that big a deal. I don’t even carry a phrase book anymore. Frankly, the biggest language challenge you are likely to face these days is too many people trying to practice their grade-school English on you. Outside a few situations (basically, developing countries where you need to talk your way out of requests for bribes) it’s really a non-issue.

Do the math on Eurail passes. I take night trains when I can-- you don’t waste your days en route and you don’t have to pay for a hotel. But you’ll probably be sleeping in coach (do European trains still have couchettes?) so it depends on your ability to do that.

Get Rick Steve’s “Europe Through the Back Door,” which is a book about how to travel rather than a guidebook. It’s a skill like any other skill, but the only way to really get that skill is to do it. The Lonely Planet will be important to, and they usually give a rundown of common scams. Don’t travel with anything you’d be too upset to have stolen.

You can do a trial trip in the US (I’d suggest a trip with some movement between cities in it), but it’s probably not necessary.

8

There’s still some, but the long distance overnight train is becoming a rarity these days :frowning:

9

Check with your current phone provider to see if they have an international add-on. Some providers allow you to buy 30-days of international service of different packages of data/voice/text. If so, make sure they have coverage in the countries he’s going to.

How flexible is he when things don’t go his way? Travel in Europe is likely going to involve a lot of figuring stuff out as he goes along and working through issues when they come up. If he’s the type who likes a fixed schedule, specific foods, regular habits, etc., it may be a pretty difficult trip.

Also, how gullible is he? It’s likely he’ll come across some scammers or pickpockets while he’s there. Will he be aware enough to not be taken and protect his belongings?

10

Just let him go. At 22 he really needs to be figuring out stuff for himself without training wheels or parental supervision at this point even if he has social cue issues. Him getting it done on his own will be a huge confidence booster for him.

11

I agree about being on guard for scammers. And with hacking into phones at coffee shops and restaurants, it is a real threat. However, I advise not letting the fear of getting ripped-off get in the way of meeting people. One of the great things about solo travel is you are more likely to start a conversation with a stranger. Some of the times I got with an impromptu group at the hostel and then just explored the city together were really memorable. I really did not spend much of my solo trip in Europe truly “alone”.

However, overly friendly people at the train or bus station would make me wary. As long as he can recognize the red flags of various situations and know how to exit them, he should be fine and will enjoy the journey.

12

Maybe it’s because my kiddo also has autism, but I’m cringing a bit. I agree 100% on the solo trips closer to home. See how those go and then make plans.

I’m also wondering if there is anyone at all he could go with in terms of the longer trip? A friend or relative close to his age? A long trip without company makes me nervous for any young person, autism or no.

I’m not saying never, btw. Maybe work up to it by stages.

13

At 22 I traveled to Asia “solo”.

Before I even got to Japan, I met a couple going to Tokyo and another solo traveler on the plane. Much of Japan (and the rest of Asia) was the same. There are hundreds of other travelers out there, some solo, some in a small group.

Your son may start his trip “solo”, but it won’t be long before he meets other fellow travelers from all over the world doing what he is doing. Travelers stick out like a sore thumb and gravitate to each other. Hostels provide an incredible experience. I was only
alone when I wanted to be and I loved the independence of traveling solo. If I wanted to stay in Varanasi for a few days longer than I planned, I did. If Rangoon wasn’t what I hoped it would be, I caught the first train to Pagan.

And I was not the most outgoing, gregarious person, but traveling will open you up. I’ll bet your son has a great time.

One thing though, it took my seven years to get back home. He might be gone longer than he planned.

14

As mentioned above, the norm for backpacker-types is to meet short-term travel companions on the road. Hostels are generally set up to facilitate this.

15

You have a completely different experience travelling solo vs with a friend(s). Going alone naturally forces one to interact, break the ice or run home with tail between the legs. With a friend there is simply baggage and it’s harder to meet people.

I traveled with a friend, and many more trips solo in China way back in the 1980’s when it was first opening up. Very different experiences and both were good. Sometimes I travelled for a week or two with someone met on the road, other times for 3 months, and one Australian gal I traveled with 30 years ago is still a buddy.

Mama Zappa, you son sound very high functioning (I dream my 11 year old spectrum daughter will be any where close to that level when she grows up). Does he have any friends or make friends? I for one would really like to track how he views life on the road and his experiences.

I think it would be a great experience for him. And one that neurotypical peers do all the time. Just make sure he knows he can pull the rip chord on his parachute (you have a cell phone, a credit card, and emergency credit card, and a round trip ticket good anytime, and the parental units make clear that while you hope he’s gone for 3 months, there will be nothing mentioned if a week into the trip he decides it’s not for him and he wants to come home).

16

Oh me too. When I first read the title I thought “He’s 22 time to cut the cord.” Then I read the OP and thought of my ASD daughter and shuddered.

17

At 21 I went to New Zealand, via Malaysia for a year, solo. I didn’t enjoy the first week really, and I retrospect I was hilariously paranoid in Malaysia (about food poisoning, lived on toast for three days), but it was an incredible experience.

Since then I’ve bummed around Europe a bit solo a few times (living in England it’s pretty cheap and easy). I haven’t always stuck to the tourist routes and I’ve never had any issues.

I would recommend starting in Holland; not only is it a major hub for flights, literally everyone speaks English, including the 5 year olds, and they’re seriously set up for backpackers. Yes, there is a very sleazy side to Amsterdam’s backpacking scene, with the people just over for the weed and hookers, but it’s easy enough to avoid, and it really is all rather safe.

Regarding insurance, it should be pretty easy to get insurance that covers medical care (as a UK citizen, I don’t tend to bother generally, as we have reciprocal agreements in place). It may well be far cheaper than you’ll expect.

Obviously I don’t have experience of travelling under a US passport, but I have quite a few American friends who have backpacked with one, and aside from the odd snide political comment, no-one’s really had any issues. I would advise him to try and sidestep any political discussions if possible, and avoid negatively comparing anything with “back home”, but the worst he should really be at risk of is an eye roll and someone being less friendly.

18

But an autistic kid not great with social cues might have problems establishing those sorts of connections. And some of those connections are scammers, who would take advantage of someone who didn’t catch on - its easy for you or me to figure out our short term arrangement doesn’t look like its working to mutual benefit, and choose to head a different direction - no harm, no foul in those 24 to 48 hour friendships - that isn’t going to be as easy for Dweezil.

I did it at 20, which is 30 years ago. And I went with my 18 year old sister. I’d recommend a traveling companion if he can find someone who wants to bum around Europe with him.

I wouldn’t worry about speaking the language, English is pretty ubiquitous throughout Europe.

19

Shrug. I’m not officially mildly autistic, but I can tell you that social cues Elsewhere are relatively easy to miss, on account of being different than Back Home. Sometimes a distance as short as 60 miles and no intervening borders of any kind already produce Other Customs.

Eurail works in every country that’s part of the network… yeah, yeah, that’s circular. Their webpage is not :D. Romania is in the list.

Medical care: other countries are either similarly cheap-by-comparison or cheaper (no out of pocket expenses or only for medication), it depends on the setup. I suggest getting travel insurance including medical and making sure it covers all the countries he wants to visit.

Phone: some carriers work in multiple countries, others do not. Without knowing specific countries I can’t recommend specific carriers.

Very Jewish lastname… being “very Jewish” in the US doesn’t mean it’s “very Jewish” in Europe. Shimon Peres changed his name because Szymon Persky “didn’t sound Jewish enough”, you know what Peres suggests to most Europeans? Depending on how good they are with spelling, Portuguese or Spanish; it’s just the Portuguese equivalent of Peterson. IIUC, your lastname is from Romania: it may be considered very Jewish there, or it may be another equivalent of Peterson.
Pity he’s not interested in Spain, I could offer a room on fonda’l sopapo regime (here’s the keys, there’s the fridge, there’s the supermarket, if you find yourself petting a dalmatian you’re in the wrong flat).

20

As already mentioned, an Eurail pass typically isn’t a good deal. And I believe that they also overcharge significantly for point-to-point tickets by comparison with tickets sold directly by the European railways companies (In fact, I just picked a random example and checked, and Eurail did indeed massively overcharge for this ticket).