(of course, I realize that what I complained about in the first place didn’t belong in this thread, so I do sincerely apologise for the hijack)
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen something like this in a review of 300. Kyle Smith of the NY Post didn’t review the film so much as he reviewed Ancient Greece (he gave it 2 Stars; I guess he’s more of a Holy Roman Empire kinda guy).
Anyway, it bugs me.
:eek: You saw 13 films last week?
Yeah, my husband travels a lot for his work so when he’s in town we try to see as many movies as possible. Last week was a good week (not counting Ghost Rider, which we saw as a “$5 Tuesday” movie) because a lot of good movies had just opened, and we caught up on some that had been out but we hadn’t seen yet. He got home Sunday night, Monday night we saw The Lives of Others and Zodiac, Tuesday we saw Terabithia, Astronaut Farmer and Ghost Rider, Wednesday we saw Amazing Grace, Black Snake Moan and Breach, Thursday we stayed home, Friday we saw Grey Matters and Starter For 10, Saturday we saw The Host, 300 and The Last Mimsy, and he left again on Sunday. We never ever go out to see just one movie, it’s like it’s not worth leaving the house unless we’re going to see at least two.
More on-topic, 300 is up to 85 million dollars as of Tuesday.
Hey Equipoise - Way Off Topic - I’d be interested in your thoughts on “Black Snake Moan” and “Last Mimsy”. Thanks
You know, I wasn’t expecting to like it, but I did.
Sure, there were plenty of things I could nitpick. There are a few things that deserve serious nitpicking. But in general, if you see the movie as a stylization/fantasy of the Spartan perspective on Thermopylae, it works pretty well.
It committed that greatest of sins, which I never forgive any movie for: it was boring. It was overdramatic, perhaps because I didn’t have any reason to care about these guys and it was always obvious what was about to happen. Oh no, the guy’s kid who was telegraphed to die from his introduction has been telegraphed to die right now. Wait for it … wait for it … okay, at least that was funny.
I’m really surprised after all the good things I heard about it. At least 5 people walked out of the theater and never came back, and one guy answered his phone and later started texting.
Two reactions in the entire film: a laugh for Xerxes hitting on Leonidus (from the texting guy) and a general “yeah” for the Queen stabbing what’s-his-face.
And I hate to compare it to Sin City, but: Sin City was hilariously overdramatic. This was just overblown.
And in any case, in the Real World, the worth of the suicide mission by Leonidas’ 300 fanatical maniacs (plus 700 Thespians, plus assorted auxiliaries and their respective servants and porters… how come nobody ever mentions them?) was that it bought time for the Athenians and their allies to set up a proper decisive battle and really save Greece, and Western Civ by extension.
As others have pointed out, the comic book is supposed to evoke what the Spartan storytellers and bards would be singing to the next generation: a totally mythologized version of events. And the film is a staging of the comic book – it’s about composition and scene and visuals and iconic representations and mythos. It is not a critical analysis of Classical Greece.
I have an old friend whose depictions of events and people are so wildly divergent from reality that if he told the Thermopylae story it probably wouldn’t be too far off from what 300 was.
If they have a Best Trailer award somewhere, 300 should get it. I can’t remember the last time I saw a trailer and said “I HAVE to see this movie.”
So, I saw it. I liked it, although I got annoyed at the “I’m gonna die” wheatfield, wife, and ethereal vocal that seemed lifted straight out of Gladiator. And I wondered why Leonidas whould want a Persian emissary and his entourage rotting in his well or whatever that was they threw them down. Although it was hacking limbs off gory it wasn’t intestines and brains spilling out gory.
And who knows, maybe this’ll inspire someone to, wait for it, open a history book and read! :eek: :eek: :eek: 
The Good: Gerard Butler doesn’t sing. The editing is pretty tight- no extraneous plot lines and you never felt it dragged on. The Queen is kind of hot.
The Bad: Xerxes in his Jack Sparrow makeup. Some illogical and unrealistic scenes, including:
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There’s this huge pit in the middle of town with apparently hundreds of feet to fall to a certain death. Shouldn’t they have built a fence around it?
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Swords going neatly through arms and necks with one swift blow.
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They made a big deal about this narrow passage being the ideal defensive ground to neutralize the numeric advantage of the Persians. Then when the Persians show up, they come out of their defensive positions. Maybe it would be harder to shoot action in a narrow corridor, but if you aren’t going to have them fight there, don’t make them stress its importance.
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The Persians show up with a gazillion troops, yet they can’t send a few hundred scouts around to find the way to the Spartan rear? Only with the help of the turncoat hunchback can they find the secret path.
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I don’t believe that it is possible to literally darken the sky with arrows. Such a cloud of arrows as rained down on the Spartans would I believe take many more arrows than an army could launch.
In my audience, several people clapped when the queen stabbed her traiterous rapist. I hate that- the fricking performers aren’t there to hear you so why applaud?
Actually, I think the what’s wrong with that isn’t so much where they fight as it is how they fight. Even when they moved out of the tiny mountain pass and onto the shore-road area, they’re still fighting along a very narrow front.
The problem is that the strength of the Spartan infantry (and the reason they were historically able to hold out as long as they did) was their phalanx formation and tactics, which made them virtually immune to the kind of frontal assault that the Persians could offer. I can see why the film took dramatic license – box of Spartans standing stationary behind a shield wall, poking the bad guys with spears, does not make for thrilling battle scenes. That said, if the Greeks had actually broken ranks like they do in the film, the Persian numerical advantage would’ve ended the battle in a matter of hours.
Historically, the Spartans actually did come out and fight in front of the wall. They also used some feinting maneuvers in which they briefly broke ranks in order to sucker the Persians in a little deeper against the phalanx.
Survival of the fittest my friend. Those ancient Greeks prolly felt that any kids stupid or clumsy enough to fall in a honking great pit was too stupid or clumsy for the ranks! OoooRah!
And bronze swords at that! Were those ancient Greeks something or what?!? 
Phalanx? We don’t need no stinking Phalanx!! (My guess is it would be more difficult to film…and probably a lot more boring…a phalanx in actual historical action. Most people wouldn’t know what they were looking at, as it would seem to just be a bunch of mopes pushing against each other and occationally getting stabbed).
The irony of course is, if I’m remembering my history correctly, this is actually what happened. The Greeks were eventually betrayed and someone led a Persian force around behind the Greeks to cut them off.
Well, admittedly the shade wouldn’t last very long but…
I still would have liked to see someone actually try and throw a Greek Phalanx pike something like 100 yards…hell, I’d love to see someone try and throw one at all. I actually went to one of those re-enactments once that had Macedonian Phalanx (longer spear, sure, but similar)…and there is no way in hell somone could throw one further than a few yards (nor would anyone in their right mind WANT to throw away their primary weapon).
-XT
This part actually happened. Ephialtes is portrayed as a caricature but he was a real person and the caricature isn’t so far removed from how he became remembered in the story. He became something of an archetypal traitor in Greek history.
I can’t believe I’m the first to ask what the deal was with the armless woman in Xerxes’ harem. That was the most memorable image in the whole movie, for me. Not a single post on the IMDB forum asks about it, either (not that I’d even compare that forum with this one.)
Was the idea that Xerxes was turned on by amputees? Or was it implied that she had had her arms chopped off as punishment for something?
Cancel that objection to the film and transfer it to Xerxes. I’m kind of amazed that they would have needed help to find the way with so many troops.
They didn’t know the terrain…and were a bit worried about what the Greeks in front of them were doing (the Spartans really were kicking ass and taking names…just not like in the movie). Ever tried to find a single mountain pass in unfamiliar mountainous terrain? I have…its a bitch, even if you KNOW there is one, and even if you have lots of scouts. I’d give the Persians a pass on this one…after all, they DID eventually manage to flank the Spartans, even if they needed a bit of help to find the goat trail.
-XT
My take on this was that the Spartans would hold their phalanx position in the gorge to break the first charge, then move out to mop up the shattered enemy troops. After the very first fight scene, they start cutting straight to the mopping up part because it’s more visually interesting.
In light of the discussions here, I just want to share a little cartoon that I think nicely sums up the historical epic as a genre:
