No love for “bile”?
My SIL was bloated with fluid due to a failing liver. The fluid would actually seep out of her skin. What’s that called? Has it been covered?
That “gold fluid that dries to become a scab” is essentially plasma. But that’s not how scabs form. In crude terms, scabs form when blood platelets burst, and (after a series of reactions) the fibrinogen in them produces a net of fibrin. As blood flows through the fibrin, mmost of the cells (the larger onces anyway, get caught in that net, and form the scab. The fibrin acts like a filter; the scab is a dried, oxidized, completely clogged filter; and the plasma and a few cells (including more platelets leak through) to dry and harden on top of what will become the mature scab.
Other external bodily fluids included colostrum [as distinct from breast milk as some of the other secretions listed), the secretions of Skene’s[arguably prostate in men], Bartholin [Cowper’s in men] and natural primary vaginal lubrication (which is not the product of a gland, despite what some sources still imply). I could have listed the male equivalent primarily (there is less controversy about their nature and composition) but I like women. A lot. Prostatic fluid is quite distinct from semen, e.g. vasectomized men emit one but not the other.
Sorry, for the technical bent, but it was starting to look like these weren’t going to get listed, and we’d end up in an almost medieval medical debate on classes of snot instead. I won’t spoil the fun by listing other obscure secretions.
Properly called blood serum, may contain some Erythrocyte (red blood cells), neutrophil polymorphs, Eosinophil cells, macrophages, polymorphonuclear leucocytes, etc.
Maybe a microbiologist can get this all straitened out to find the correct seven.
Undigested food…sweetcorn for example
I scratched my head over this for a while. FWIW, a microbiologist studies microorganisms – bacteria and the like. As a (former) molecular biologist, I’d say that we’d probably list closer to 3300 substances than 33. I think we need to page a histologist/anatomist. (I appen to have one down the hall at the moment, but he was no help at all, the fuddy-duddy) A forensic pathologist [paging gabriela] might be a good choice, too
In the end, even another author of throughly forgettable novels is unlikely to replicate the arbitrary list concocted by this novelist. Not that it isn’t fun to try.
Have we covered cervical mucus yet? There’s several very distinct types, none of which are signs of infection - as commonly mistaken by the women experiencing them - or of arousal - as commonly mistaken by men who think foreplay’s over!
There’s creamy, sticky, stretchy, white, clear, swirled, lotiony, watery, straight smearing and circular spreading. There’s one kind that makes fantastic crystaline shapes under the microscope. Every single woman may have some or all of the different types during different point of her cycle.
or for pre-ejaculate.
If we include dead human bodies, I’m sure Gabrielle could supply us with a colourful list of other substance.
<we need that pukey smiley>
Lymph, oxygen, nitrogen, carbon monoxide, heat, semen, B.O., B.B.O
If you are including pathology: hernia, belly button lint, fat, fascia, bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, sebum, pus (already given credit), bezoars, bile, gallstone, kidney stone, tumour, melanoma, keratoses, etc.
Assuming you’re referring to The Golden Globe by John Varley, the originators of the list, Sparky and Polly, specifically stated that snot and boogers are two different substances. Remember to approach the list from the point of view of 2 precocious 10 year olds.
As you may able to tell from my post, I take issue with your description of the novel as “forgettable”. How can you forget the Charonese Mafia?
The way it’s phrased ("…out of a human body"), technically, this list should really be divided into male and female divisions, since no one person can produce 'em all.
Can nasal phlegm be distinguished from pulmonary phlegm?
Also, tonsiliths and salivary-gland squirts (when you yawn and curl your tongue upwards – it’s basically spit, but presumably a lot cleaner, with less bacteria, etc.)
And does no one else dare mention female G-spot ejaculate?
I think that’s the secretion of Skene’s gland, mentioned by KP.
While we’re at it, KP, if vaginal lubrication isn’t produced by a gland, what is it produced by?
And we can probably split out several different kinds of pus, as well. For starters, there’s the watery pus which fills a burn or abrasion blister, and then there’s the thick, pasty pus which squeezes out of pimples and infected hangnails. And the latter probably has a few sub-categories: Pimple pus might be different from hangnail pus (I’m not completely certain on that score), and I’ve seen both in various colors (even including green hangnail pus).
Is it bilirubin, the by-product of red blood cell breakdown that’s normally eliminated by the liver, and produces the yellowness of jaundice in those with compromised liver function?
That waxy stuff that comes out when you squeeze a blackhead.
Sebum.
More sebum, but I thought you knew that.
Actually, aren’t there four kinds of sebum? Or, more specifically, four consistencies?
I think the OP’s 4, 5, and 19 are all covered by sebum, the magical emollient. Your life would be miserable without sebum.
How about pinworms?
PS - if the list was originally generated by children, I think cooties would be on it, too.
That really sounds like it. It was yellow…almost like Gatorade. And when they removed the big bottle that was collecting it, it squirted out like someone removed their thumb from the opening of the hose.
Preface this by saying I have never anywhere encountered the idea that there are 33 substances that exude from the human body. Ever. No such number accepted by any authority known to medicine. Pure poetry. Not community standard.
So the novelist made it up out of his own head, and who knows whether our creative Doper community is going to hit on the same 33 substances. I like KP’s remark that molecular biology could find 3300 substances more easily. Or 3200, or 4,169. No reason for the number to be 33. None at all.
On preview I see that our clever muldoonthief has found the novel – muldoonthief, do you want to tell our OP what substances he has wrong and what substances he is missing?
I also like alive at both end’s comment on what are we calling a “substance”. Is it something you can give an Avogadro’s number to, something you can describe molecularly – like salt – or cholesterol? Is it something a layman has a word for because we experience it – like spit? Is it something that isn’t mingled with something else – are streaks of blood in your urine two substances or one?
To show how difficult this is to parse, one of the classic medical dangers of vomiting too much is hypochloremia and metabolic alkalosis, because you lose so much HCl when you vomit repeatedly that you run out of chloride and acid. And hydrogen chloride could be given an Avogadro’s number; you can specify a mole of HCl from your chemistry supply house. So is chloride a substance that you lose when you vomit, along with water, acid, mucus, and undigested food, making five substances? Or is vomit one substance?
Why, it depends on your definition of “substance”, doesn’t it? And I hope it’s clear that your definition of “substance” is “what you feel like calling a substance”, which means it is unique to your schema of the world.
This is basically to say that the OP is merely poetic, makes no sense, and can be answered in any poetic terms available. Which means no arguments are needed over whether anal mucus counts as a separate substance. It does if we feel like saying it does.
Now to wade happily into the poetics as if I were serious about all this, which is one of my favorite pastimes. We need to bring a little order to this substance-listing. We could take the mediaeval humors, and go with which substances remind us of earth, air, fire, and water, striving to get eight in each, with a final magical 33rd substance which wasn’t any of the above (infants would be good). But I’d rather go prosaically by body part. And I’m not going to separate the gases in the air.
Starting with normal healthy people, a stipulation I feel you ought to have made before you started counting the golden crust you get on scraped skin:
Head
Scalp – hair, dandruff, oil (sebum)
Eyes – tears, dried crusts from the early morning
Nose – blood, boogers, mucus
Mouth – spit, vomit (includes bile as a separate substance that you can vomit up so this is 2), exhaled air, baby (deciduous) teeth, cells from the lining of the cheek (mucous membrane) or tongue (squamous epithelium) – trust me, these are 2; but I am not counting undigested food from the gastric pouch as a substance separate from vomit
Ears – wax
So the count from the head is 15. And yes, the dried crusts from the eyes are different from mucus you produce in your nose. Although boogers are dried mucus, so it’s up to you whether a booger is a separate “substance” or not.
Neck See Skin
Torso
Skin – Desquamated cells (you’ll see them on your towel sometimes), sweat, fine hairs
Armpits – Odor, waxy substance different from watery sweat, hair
Nipples – Milk
So the count from the torso is 5. I am ignoring the armpit, velar, and pubic hairs because the OP wants all hairs counted under scalp hair, including eyelashes.
Extremities – Fingernails and toenails
The count from the extremities is 2.
Female genitalia and surroundings (pudenda and anus)
Menstrual blood containing shed endometrium, vaginal secretions, cervical gland secretions (such as we see in Nabothian cysts; yes they are quite different from vaginal secretions), urine, non-implanted ova, secretions of the Bartholin glands (thanks KP), secretions of the Skene’s glands (thanks Chronos and KP), placenta with membranes (I’d count the cord as part of the baby), amniotic fluid (the “water” that breaks hours before the child is born), feces, meconium (thank you Beware of Doug) which is really different from feces – for one thing, it contains no bacteria and is odorless and non-infectious – it’s just desquamated colonic mucosal cells and amniotic squames
Male genitalia and surroundings
Semen, smegma, prostatic secretions, seminal vesicle secretions, Cowpers’ gland secretions; also urine and feces; farts
So the count from the pudenda is 15.
We’re up to 38.
Now we pass to people who are unhealthy.
Head
In people who have had their cribriform plates fractured by a blow to the head – Cerebrospinal fluid rhinorrhea (this really happens and is a very bad thing with which to present to the emergency room)
Virus-infected clear fluid pouring from the sinuses
Pus from the sinuses or middle ears or Eustachian tubes
Lungers from persons with chronic bronchitis
Curschmann’s spirals of inspissated degranulated eosinophils from persons with asthma
Infected cells mixed with secretions from the tonsils, tongue, salivary glands, or Waldeyer’s ring during bacterial infections (see this thread)
Slurry of tumor cells from persons with oral cancer
Infected teeth that fall out because of dental caries, or are pulled by a dentist; healthy teeth that are knocked out by trauma (count both under adult or non-deciduous teeth)
Neck
Secretions from a leaking thyroglossal duct cyst or other branchial arch remnant (ask irishgirl)
Mucus from a chronic tracheostomy
Torso
Skin – blood; serum – golden dried crusts that form over an abrasion (see KP’s explanation for more detail); different type of serous fluid that forms in blisters in second-degree burns; desquamation of intact epithelium in Stevens-Johnson syndrome; desquamation of only keratinized layers in certain skin diseases; tumor cells from basal cell or squamous cell carcinomas; non-purulent inspissated secretions from pimples (whitehead or blackhead); sebum from sebaceous cysts; abnormal sweat from persons with cystic fibrosis; urea from sweat from persons in renal failure
Deeper than skin – stomach acid or small bowel contents from an intestinal fistula
Ascites – what would leak out of Kalhoun’s relative
Extremities – Trace evidence such as skin scrapings (from the homicidal assailant) under fingernails
Sequestra (dead bone fragments filled with pus) coming to the surface in open chronically infected comminuted fractures
Pudenda and anus – miscarriages; bloody colonic mucus that pours in copious quantities from people with Crohn’s disease or ulcerative colitis; amebas and worms in people who are infected with them; diarrheal feces (watery fluid with very little fecal matter in it with a different salt and water composition from mucus or other secretions); kidney stones (thank you iano), particularly those in people with cystinuria or ethylene glycol poisoning, so there is nothing in the stone which is a constituent of normal urine
And from dead decomposing people:
Purge fluid
Blister fluid
Entire scalp from slippage (could also be seen in non-decomposed people after a knife attack)
Skin including hand-and-fingernail “degloving”
Complex methane and putrescine related gases
Dangerous bacteria in liquefied tissues
Adipocere
This short off-the-top-of-my-head list gives us an additional 36. I’m sure irishgirl or Qadgop the Mercotan could come up with many many more if somebody would bring pie as a reward.
Tim from Sylmar, which 33 would you like to pick out?
Gabriela
pluming herself
But after she’s married, it’s just the same damn thing night after night after night… :rolleyes:
I’ll have a Rolling Rock.
Did anyone else notice that gabriela listed “farts” as a distinctively male secretion?
And bughunter, I didn’t actually know that vaginal lubrication was a type of sebum, but that still doesn’t answer the question: Isn’t sebum produced by glands?