33 substances that come out of a human body

[Tim_from_Sylmar]

[QUOTE=muldoonthief]
Assuming you’re referring to The Golden Globe by John Varley, the originators of the list, Sparky and Polly, specifically stated that snot and boogers are two different substances. Remember to approach the list from the point of view of 2 precocious 10 year olds.

As you may able to tell from my post, I take issue with your description of the novel as “forgettable”. How can you forget the Charonese Mafia?
[/QUOTE]

That’s the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren’t Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me.

[muldoonthief]

[QUOTE=gabriela]
On preview I see that our clever muldoonthief has found the novel – muldoonthief, do you want to tell our OP what substances he has wrong and what substances he is missing?

[/QUOTE]

In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like:

“Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here’s a hint - babies don’t count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of Sparky and his Gang!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna.”

The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I’ll have to check it tonight.

[QUOTE=Tim from Sylmar]
That’s the name of that novel! But if I remember correctly, weren’t Sparky and Polly actually 30 or 40 but being kept physically 10 years old by medical technology for the good of a long-running trans-planetary TV show? Yeah, the Charonese Mafia were cool, but the whole killing my father thing ran thin for me.
[/QUOTE]

By the end of the show, they were in their 20’s or maybe early 30’s, but still looked like 8 year olds. But they were making the list very early on in the show’s run, before Sparky has wrested control & ownership of the show away from Peppy, so he was still around 10. Mind, he was a 10 year old who had memorized all of Shakespeare’s plays, so he wasn’t quite your average child.

BTW, I’m sure John Varley would be amused this is still being debated 15 years later by a bunch of adults, including some physicians and a forensic pathologist (that’s what you are, aren’t you gabriela? If I got that wrong, no offense intended, and my sincere apologies). I’ve emailed him a link to the thread.

[chowder]

Well after I’ve come into a human body I then come out of it.

Does that count?

[OneCentStamp]

[QUOTE=gabriela]
This short off-the-top-of-my-head list gives us an additional 36. I’m sure irishgirl or Qadgop the Mercotan could come up with many many more if somebody would bring pie as a reward.
[/QUOTE]

Pie?!? Who can think of pie at a time like this. hurk :eek:

[HMS_Irruncible]

[QUOTE=muldoonthief]
In the novel, the two kids are actually setting up a contest, where watchers of their show have to come up with their own list of 33 substances. Like:

“Hey kids! Can YOU come up with 33 substances that come out of the human body? Here’s a hint - babies don’t count, but snot and boogers are two different things! The winner gets a walk on part on an upcoming episode of Sparky and his Gang!!! Send your completed list to Room 25, Corridor 6, King City Studios, Luna.”

The novel itself lists only 10 or so - I’ll have to check it tonight.
[/QUOTE]

It’s worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar.

[muldoonthief]

[QUOTE=Brain Wreck]
It’s worth noting that it just says 33 substances, not THE 33 substances. I think the point is just to come up with a matching list of 33, an exercise akin to counting the beans in a jelly-bean jar.
[/QUOTE]

Don’t go by my “quote” - it’s purely from memory. I’ll post the actual text from the novel tonight.

[RumMunkey]

33 substances that come out of a human body

How about OTHER human bodies?

[muldoonthief]

Well, I’ve got the book in front of me now, and it’s actually 36 things.

Here’s some quotes:

“No, really,” Sparky says. “We’ve made a list of thirty-five things that can come out of the human body. Without, you know, surgery.”

“Only it may be thirty-six,” Polly says.

“If boogers and snot are different things. See, we decided plaque, tartar, and calculus are different. But toenails and fingernails are the same.”

“We’re not counting babies,” Polly adds. “And eight of the things are different kinds of hair.”

“There wasn’t a very good definition of snot in the dictionary.”

“Or boogers.”

A few pages later:

CONTEST!!!

Hey gang! Can you think of 36 things that come out of the human body? That’s how many things Sparky and Polly used when they created Armageddon Angry, the newest kid on Sparky and His Gang! Well, if you can, have we got a contest for you! Sparky and Polly want to treat you to a seven-day, all-expenses-paid stay at Dreamland! Your parents, too, and your whole family! While you’re at Dreamland you’ll have breakfast with Sparky and Polly and some surprise guests! You’ll rida all the coolest new rides! To enter, simply write the 36 things on an official entry form.

We’ll even give you two hints!

1. One of the things is EARWAX!

2. Babies are not one of the things!

Send your entry form along with a box top from SUGAR SPARKLERS, “The Cereal Sparky Eats!” to “Sparky, Sentry/Sensational Studios, Mare Vaporum, Luna.”

The premise is that Sparky takes the 36 things, and in his lab creates his new friend, Armageddon Angry. Something goes wrong though, and Angry doesn’t have a soul.

It’s a great book.

[Duke_of_Rat]

What about acetone? I swear I heard that people with certain disorders (maybe even as common as diabetes) produce acetone in their breath.

[gabriela]

So grateful you dug that out, muldoonthief - now we see it’s 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don’t count.

Which means chowder’s funny line doesn’t count either. But he knew that when he posted it.

A quick nod to muldoonthief, Chronos, and OneCentStamp - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like elfbabe. Yeah.

And OneCentStamp, I’m disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I’ve had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body.

Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!

[WhyNot]

[QUOTE=gabriela]
Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!
[/QUOTE]

Me! Me! Me! I’ve never been so squicked out by a discussion that I couldn’t eat. I just don’t get that.

Let’s see, there’s take-out Chinese, pie, apple cider, cheese, eardrops, eyedrops, syrup of ipecac, anal probes and Chowder! Who’s got another?

[chowder]

[QUOTE=gabriela]
So grateful you dug that out, muldoonthief - now we see it’s 36, not 33. And I totally forgot plaque, tartar, and calculus. And we see there that babies don’t count.

Which means chowder’s funny line doesn’t count either. But he knew that when he posted it.

A quick nod to muldoonthief, Chronos, and OneCentStamp - Yes, I am a forensic pathologist. Chronos, of course only men fart. Medical fact. Ask someone expert who should know like - like - like elfbabe. Yeah.

And OneCentStamp, I’m disappointed in you. I could make pie while holding that discussion. Heck, I’ve had an in-depth discussion of local Chinese food places over a partly dissected body.

Who wants to come over for take-out Chinese and pie? Let’s think of 36 substances that can go into a human body!
[/QUOTE]

Excuse me, I was perfectly serious, I Do come out of a human body, female I hasten to add.

For shame sir, for shame, thinking I was extracting the urine :dubious:

[jvarley]

I thought I had lost the list, but I found it. I see there can be endless debate, as in “Are boogers and snot the same thing?” and the natures of various puses, hairs, and secretions, but this is Sparky’s definitive list:

1. Head hair
2. Dandruff
3. Eyebrows
4. Tears
5. Sleepy dust
6. Eyelashes
7. Boogers
8. Snot
9. Blood
10. Spit
11. Teeth
12. Vomit
13. Earwax
    14 Stuff inside zits
14. Stuff inside blackheads
15. Lungers
16. Bad breath
17. Sweat
18. Milk
19. Bellybutton lint
20. Fingernails
21. Farts
22. Poop
23. Pee
24. Jizz
25. Penis cheese
26. Period blood
27. That slick stuff when you’ve been hard a long time
28. Vaginal slick stuff
29. Placenta
30. When your water breaks
31. Toenails
32. Toe jam

I thought I was nuts when I was making this list while writing the book. Nice to see there’s other nuts out there.

[chowder]

jvarley…and ME!!!

Do pay attention

[chowder]

On a more serious note.

34. Heat
35. Sugar
36. Salt
37. Babies
38. Undigested food

[muldoonthief]

For those who may be unaware - jvarley above is John Varley, the author of the book in question. I emailed him last week with a link to this thread.

[WhyNot]

Oh, sure, he comes in here like some kind of quote-unquote expert or something, just because he wrote the book!

muldoonthief, do you feel a little like Woody Allen in line for a movie now?

jvarley, I hope you stick around and peruse the rest of the board. We have captivating discussions like this all the time!

[chela]

snip
[QUOTE=Dr_Paprika]
hernia, belly button lint, fat, fascia, bone, muscle, tendon, ligament, sebum, pus (already given credit), bezoars, bile, gallstone, kidney stone, tumour, melanoma, keratoses, etc.
[/QUOTE]
/snip

Its the thiry three that must be in witchies brew!