Oy.
When I wrote this I made two distinct columns headed Clue and Answer. The format got screwed up in the submission, but you can still dope it out, I’m sure.
Nixonism.
The expression, “Let me make one thing perfectly clear,” was
a favorite Nixonian preface to all sorts of pronouncements.
Make sure to tell them if Mr. Lyon isn’t in that they should ask to speak with Mr. Bayer.
I had an exam yesterday so I didn’t risk pulling a big prank on the professor, since it might take too long. I just slipped a fake million-dollar bill into my exam as I handed it in, and calmly left the classroom.
Today she came into class and said “Next time any of you try to bribe me, please use REAL money! I almost got arrested at Wal-Mart!”
I have awesome profs. 
I taped someone’s mouse ball down. That’s about it. I’m lame. 
You sure do!
Thanks, Roxx! I laughed and laughed.
In class yesterday, as my prof Dr A set out to take attendance, he asked for the date. Someone said “oh it’s April fools day!” My friend D turned to me and said “oooh play an April fools on me!”
About 15 minutes later I passed her a note saying “omg I totally just realized I had a sex dream about Dr A last night!” She was so stunned, she couldn’t even form words. I only waited about 10 seconds before telling her ‘April fools!’ but her face was priceless. She passed me a note back saying "holy crap I nearly had a heart attack." Love it!
We told the kids (middle schoolers) that they were going to have to retake the statewide assessment test (FCAT) because the books were tainted. We also told them that it was not statewide, it was only one or two schools. The kids kept running up to different teachers asking “Is it true???” We, little stinkers that we are, said “Yes.”
At the end of the day, we let them off with a HUGE “April Fools!”
Some of us weren’t very popular today…
I did this.
Apparently I’m a bastard.
Waaaait a minute. That was posted … last night.
Heh … you almost had me there! Nice one!
Apparently someone else (who had heard the joke before) was in the room when she gave it to him, and started laughing and gave it away. I don’t think he even tried to call.
:mad:
Except for Miss Ohio of course.
I told this story on the board last week, but we replaced my professor’s pointer (a big orange hand, which was originally pointing with its index finger) with one we made (pointing with its middle finger).
We told him about it today. He loved it.
Okay. I knew I’d f*ck it up somewhere in the transcription.
Thank you so much for your alert proof reading.
Here in the UK, GMTV (independent commercial nationwide morning TV channel) ran a deadpan news report (complete with interviews) on “Diet Water” being distributed by Yorkshire Water to a limited number of consumers through a “third tap”. The water was supposed to carry negative calories.
Apparently, the water company received thousands of enquiries.
(Not surprising when a recent survey alleges that as many as 10% of adults believe that Adolf Hitler was a fictional character and that Conan the Barbarian was real.)
I called a friend that works in a doctor’s office. In my best shaky, weak, old-lady voice, I said “Help! I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up!” She replied, “Well, what do you want ME to do about it?” And she thought it was real.
Not me but a friend.
His brother is an avid collector of antique radios. So my friend calls his brother up and leaves a message something like this. “Hi I got your name from a friend. We were cleaning out my dad’s house and found (highly desirable items) unless you want them I will leave them for the trash. If you are interested please call 123-555-24… and hangs up.
Much hilarity ensued while he tried to find the caller, he even called the phone company to try to find the rest of the number!
I didn’t play any tricks on anyone, but I did give my boss an April Fools gag gift.
While on a road trip my wife and I stopped for gas and food at a truckers’ stop, and I saw something that made me laugh hysterically (ok, I have a weird sense of humor). It’s called a “tire thumper”, and is ostensibly for truckers to test the soundness of their tires. It’s about the thickness of a light baseball bat and about half the length, and basicly it’s a bludgeon or heavy nightstick, like something out of a Warner Bros. cartoon. You can just see someone using it to beat the **** out of somebody. So I bought it to give to my boss on April 1, and I added a tag with the printed label “Raise Negotiator”.
Everyone at work thought it was a big hit (no pun intended 
), and my boss’ comment was “just don’t ask me for a raise now”.