60 years ago today

[Quartz]

Adolf Hitler killed himself.

I expect Adolf is extra-toasty today.

[Reeder]

Maybe he’s destined for extra toasty…

But no one goes to hell before “judgement day”.

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

Shhh! You’ll wake John Wayne!

[Reeder]

The Last Will of Adolf Hitler

As I did not consider that I could take responsibility, during the years of struggle, of contracting a marriage, I have now decided, before the closing of my earthly career, to take as my wife that girl who, after many years of faithful friendship, entered, of her own free will, the practically besieged town in order to share her destiny with me. At her own desire she goes as my wife with me into death. It will compensate us for what we both lost through my work in the service of my people.

What I possess belongs - in so far as it has any value - to the Party. Should this no longer exist, to the State; should the State also be destroyed, no further decision of mine is necessary.

My paintings, in the collections which I have bought in the course of years, have never been collected for private purposes, but only for the extension of a gallery in my home town of Linz on Donau.

It is my most sincere wish that this bequest may be duly executed.

I nominate as my Executor my most faithful Party comrade,
Martin Bormann

He is given full legal authority to make all decisions.

He is permitted to take out everything that has a sentimental value or is necessary for the maintenance of a modest simple life, for my brothers and sisters, also above all for the mother of my wife and my faithful co-workers who are well known to him, principally my old Secretaries Frau Winter etc. who have for many years aided me by their work.

I myself and my wife - in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation - choose death. It is our wish to be burnt immediately on the spot where I have carried out the greatest part of my daily work in the course of a twelve years' service to my people.

Given in Berlin, 29th April 1945, 4:00 A.M.
[Signed] A. Hitler

[Witnesses]
Dr. Joseph Goebbels
Martin Bormann
Colonel Nicholaus von Below

http://www.historyplace.com/worldwar2/timeline/death.htm

[Marley23]

Tough task, pitting Hitler. You can argue that no one who has ever lived more thoroughly deserves a pit thread, but somehow the words underwhelm.

[Scissorjack]

@Marley23

Tough task, pitting Hitler. You can argue that no one who has ever lived more thoroughly deserves a pit thread, but somehow the words underwhelm.

And then there’s the problem of Godwin’s Law: “The Nazis acted just like a a bunch of - ah, screw it.”

[Diogenes_the_Cynic]

Coincidentally, I went to see the movie, Downfall today. When they showed the date that Hitler killed himself, I thought, “Hey, that’s 60 years ago today.”

And that may be the least interesting anecdote anyone has ever posted on SDMB.

Good movie, though. It’s nice to hear Hitler raving in the original German.

[Beware_of_Doug]

OK, Anschluss-Face, break’s over. Back on your heads.

[Beware_of_Doug]

Er…head.

[Sevastopol]

@Marley23

Tough task, pitting Hitler. You can argue that no one who has ever lived more thoroughly deserves a pit thread, but somehow the words underwhelm.

1. Mao
2. Stalin
3. Hitler

[SlyFrog]

It’s only a pity it wasn’t 80 years ago today and we all would be better off.

For the politically incorrect, I’ve always thought the following is funny. I assume most have seen the following: “If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion? If so, you would have aborted Beethoven.”

I’ve always wanted to put up a sign that said, “If you knew a woman who was a loving mother, in a household with a father who had a good well-paying job, in a small stable little town in a beautiful and powerful country, who would give birth to a war hero who loved children, animals, and the arts, would you recommend that she have an abortion? If so, you would have aborted Hitler!”

Somehow I don’t think the types of people who put up the original sign would get it.

[Alessan]

You know, I couldn’t care less about Hitler’s death. There are at least six million deaths that interest me more.

[threemae]

I’ll second that.

[threemae]

@Sevastopol

1. Mao
2. Stalin
3. Hitler

Damn, this is what I was seconding.

[The_Hook]

@Sevastopol

1. Mao
2. Stalin
3. Hitler

…walk into a bar…

[HPL]

Another day, another pinapple up the ass for Der Fuerher.

It is sad though that Hitler couldn’t have been captured, tried and hung instead.

[FinnAgain]

Ahem…

It was roughly eight years ago today
Adolf Hitler got the urge to slay
he’s been going in and out of style
but he’s guaranteed to raise your ire
so let me introduce to you, the one and only Adolph H.
Adolph Hitler’s corpse was burned to aaaaaash.

(I am so going to hell for this)

[Avenger]

Bonus reverse-Godwin points for the first person in this thread to compare Adolf Hitler to George Bush…

[Ranchoth]

@Reeder

Maybe he’s destined for extra toasty…

But no one goes to hell before “judgement day”.

Depending on your point of view, Lil Adolf might just be wrapping up his tenth or so reincarnation as a tapeworm.

The part of him that isn’t sitting in a shoebox in a Moscow basement, that is.

Not to mention the pieces that ended up in an East Berlin sewer.

ahem HOW YA DOIN DOWN THERE, ADOLF? ::stomps floor:: Eh? EH? Havin’ a fun time with all the buddies of yours we sent down to keep ya company?

[Marley23]

@threemae

Damn, this is what I was seconding.

The 30th anniversary of Mao’s death is about a year and a half away, and the 60th anniversary for Stalin isn’t until 2013. We can have pit threads for them too. Anyway I was careful to say “you can argue” Hitler deserves it more than anyone.