I stole this recipe from an earlier salsa recipe thread, and i can’t seem to make it work. I’d like to bring a dish to Thanksgiving that I made myself and would be eaten…I had thought it impossible to ‘screw up’ salsa. I was wrong.
First, the Stolen Recipe:
Mix the following in a blender:
A can of tomatoes,
About a third of a fist-sized white onion.
A lot of fresh cilantro, like all the leaves off a set of stalks half an inch in diameter
A couple of cloves of garlic.
One or two Jalapenos, to taste. Remove core and seeds as per heat preference.
Six or seven good shakes from a salt-shaker.
Disaster#1: 5 cloves of garlic will keep most humans away, never mind the vampires. Also, just because ‘shopright’ says they are jalapeno peppers doesn’t mean they are. After all garlic, no heat, I bit into one directly, and it was just a small bland green pepper.
Disaster#2: 2 cloves of garlic are still Way Too Much, even for a quart, and red chili peppers where only a slight heat improvement. (Damn you, Shopright!!!)
Tonight is my last chance. I still have 1/2 a bunch of cilantro, 2 huge non-hot peppers to chop up and add for volume, the rest of the chili peppers, and a 4x4 plastic box of red/yellow Habaneros. I’ll probably throw in a half-fist sized chopped up onion for the heck of it…but zero garlic.
There will be Heat, by Og, or the deli manager will be getting the blandest enema of his life in the Shopright parking lot after work tonight…
Wow- That recipe is for a Abominable anti-Salsa in my opinion
Texas A&M is who I’ve heard to blame for the tasteless Jalepenos. Get Serranos, they are about the same heat level as the old Jalepenos, and a little fruitier.
Cilantro is pure evil. If you want that flavor just add 1 TSP of Tide and 1 tbsp Hi Karate.
Blenders on salsa is evil too, just knife chop.
There is no such thing as too much garlic. 7-8 cloves per quart is good.
I prefer half canned fire roasted whole tomatoes, for sweetness, and half fresh Roma Tomatoes for garden freshness.
Red onions, not white
a dash of Lemon juice, and a dash of lime juice to brighten it up.
A little over ripe corn gives a great little squirt of extra sweetness.
The only thing I agree with in the salt, but you need a little black pepper too.
Try using serrano chile peppers, or a mix of serranos and Jalapenos.
I agree that more salt and fresh tomatoes are important.
You also might like regular brown onions for more heat. Get the roundest ones you can find. The flatter the onion the milder it is.
Get a handful of large tomatos, some green and sweet onions, a few peppers, and a few cloves of garlic. Chop-chop-chop in a bowl. Add a few squirts of lime and a pinch of salt. Let it sit for an hour or two and taste.
The garlic taste will improve a little after it sits. If it needs more heat, add more peppers. Too hot? More tomatos.