I posted the OP as a way to get others’ opinions and to vent my feelings about this situation. Anybody that doesn’t like it doesn’t have to read it, or participate in it. And when it comes to kids, yeah, it is my business. It takes a village and all that. I’m not saying I’m morally superior, in any way. People do stupid stuff all the time and noticing and commenting on it in no way implies that you’re superior to them.
As for her choices, I find it hard to believe that her only choice is to bring her kids to work. She’s obviously well-fed and drives a nice car, so maybe her priorities are not in order.
Just to show that I’m in the same situation as her, I sometimes go hungry (although my kids do not) so that I’m able to pay my daycare bill. Literally.
If the alternative is leaving them in her car while she’s at work I’m all for it.
And I agree with everyone else that there sure are a lot of judgmental, sanctimonious assholes in here.
Was I being a sanctimonious asshole? News to me…
I see no issue with it in theory. I worked in a convenience store for about six months in 2001 and my manager at one of the stores had a young infant that she sometimes brough to work with her when she had no other option left to her. I can’t remember the kid raising any sort of commotion nor was there any sort of extra work involved in having the child around.
It can work.
That could be dangerous in the summer time just about anywhere and pretty much deadly in the southernmost states just about year round.
You’d never leave Baby Doors in a car for an 8 hour shift; I can’t believe you’d suggest such a thing.
Perhaps you meant “with the windows down.” Even so, kids put cars into gear accidentally (and on purpose) all the time. My nephew wrecked my sister’s car when he was 18 months old because he was playing Race Car Driver, put the car in gear and it rolled backwards into traffic. Luckily the damage to the car was minor and no damage to the kid.
IMHO, a car would be more dangerous than brining your kid with you to work at the JA Henckels store.
Actually, i was under the impression that Airman Doors did not mean:
“If the alternative is leaving them in her car while she’s at work I’m all for [leaving them in the car].”
Rather, i thought he meant:
“If the alternative is leaving them in her car while she’s at work I’m all for [taking them into the store].”
I might be wrong, but i don’t think so.
I don’t find trublmakr’s post to be a terrible thing. All sorts of people are parents and people make all sorts of choices in how to raise their kids. I think the OP is concerned and she has a right to be. I don’t recall her stating that this woman is a bad mother, persay. She did mention that this woman has a nice car and gets her fill of food. I think that maybe she could try to budget more efficiently and work daycare into her plans.
Again, I’m not saying I “know everything she’s going through” but it’s got to be hard to do her job properly with her kids in the store. Also, trublmakr probably can’t offer to babysit because she has her OWN problems to deal with (as she mentioned above). She’s not in the best situation either but she doesn’t take her kids to work. Being a single parent is HARD and child safety should be a priority. There are no easy answers.
Really? You don’t?
and
Whether you agree with the sentiment or not, i think it’s pretty clear that statements like this come pretty damn close to saying that “this woman is a bad mother.”
And this is the most amazing thing about some of the arguments in this thread–the idea that you somehow know exactly what this woman’s circumstances and her available choices are.
Trublmakr says that the woman is “obviously well-fed.” Wow, what a crime. How dare she have sufficient caloric intake to prevent her fainting on the job! Also, in case you were unaware, it is possible for someone to appear “well-fed” (i.e., not skinny) and yet for that person still to be undernourished. Unfortunately, some of the cheapest, most convenient food in our society is also the food that adds lots of fat but very few other nutrients to the diet.
And curse the woman for driving a “nice car.” I don’t know exactly what constitutes a “nice car” in your world, but i’m assuming this person isn’t getting around in a BMW 5-Series or a Cadillac. Those of you who live in Arizona, of all people, should be aware of the way that southwestern cities sprawl, and also of their often-inadequate public transit systems. Cars are often the only way to get around. And even if decent public transport does exist, i’m sure you’re also aware of how difficult it might be for a single mother to get her toddlers anywhere, including daycare, and do things like grocery shopping, if she has to go everywhere by bus. It strikes me that, in some circumstances, having a reliable car is almost a necessary pre-requisite for being a good parent.
See, now i’m having trouble working out what the biggest gripe with this woman is. Is it her parenting, or her job performance?
Are you worried that her kids might be in an unsafe environment? Or it is just that she might take an extra 15 seconds to ring up your cigarettes and twinkies?
I’ve already conceded that the circumstances for the kids are not ideal. Of course it would be better if she had some reliable, safe daycare for them. And it’s also possible that she is just a really crappy mother. But again, we don’t know all her circumstances.
I’m afraid that i really can’t bring myself to give a flying fuck about her job performance. The store manager obviously knows the kids are there, and doesn’t think it’s such a big deal. Maybe it’s the only way he can get someone to do the job at all, and maybe it’s the only job she can get that alleviates the need to find money she doesn’t have for childcare.
If the inconvenience of seeing a couple of kids running around the store is too much for you, don’t shop at that 7-11. I’ve seen kids running around in plenty of 7-11 stores, and most of them belonged to customers. I don’t see that it’s really much worse if they belong to a staff member.
Oh. Good point. I hadn’t thought of the alternate interpretation.
And that, my friends, demonstrates the danger of misplaced modifiers. Let this be a lesson to you all.
:smack:
$200 a week for a preschooler. Twin Cities. Center based, so more expensive than home daycare - but more dependable as well.
Assuming 7-11 pays a whopping $7 an hour here, you’d have $80 left a week. Before taxes.
And Minnesota has cut way back on subsidizing daycare. Lots of people are on waiting lists. And the copay increased about 500% last year.
It would be lovely if the woman could find affordable, reliable day care or babysitting; for all that any of us know, she’s looking for just that very thing. Maybe she’s one of the people on the waiting list for subsidized day care. I don’t know. But I will say this: if she must bring her child/ren to work with her, they should be taught to behave properly. Not bothering the customers, not running around grabbing things off of shelves, not being huge pains in the ass. I know a woman here in town, her husband and she own a local music store. She brings her children in to work all the time. She has an area set up for them where they can color, watch videos, play quietly while she deals with the customers. Now, the woman being discussed in the OP doesn’t have the same freedom she would if she owned the store, but there are plenty of safe, quiet toys she could bring for the children, and teach them to stay in an isolated area. Bringing the kids to work may not be an ideal option, but it may be the best option she has at the moment. But the kids must be taught how to behave.
Must be more common than I thought, I stopped at a cell phone store for a new antennae tonight and was thoroughly charmed by the employee’s pre-school aged daughter. She gave me a sticker picture.
Good points Dangerosa. I was wondering if perhaps the mother had exceeded her two years on assistance, or however it works now.
I pay $175 weekly for a jr.high aged child, and am grateful there’s someone willing to provide home care at the monstrously early hours I work since there are no centers available. If I was charged $300 weekly, I’d pretty much have to fork it over or switch to a much lower paying job with better hours, lose~lose situation.
I think it’s a relatively safe presumption she wouldn’t be bringing the kids along if she had a better option. So she’s not the most skilled parent while she’s otherwise occupied…my reaction to that would be something like thank Og I’m not in her situation.
trublmakr the sanctimonius alarms might not be clanging so loudly if you hadn’t claimed that you’re a single parent in nearly the same dire financial straights and also said you shop at 7-11 often enough to notice this woman’s work habits. 7-11 is a convenience store, with the raised prices one expects for that benefit. If you’re skipping meals to pay the child care bill, yet shopping at 7-11 regularly, I’m not sure you’re really in a position to be questioning anyone else’s ability to make sound decisions.
First off, I buy gas at convenience stores… and I do it at the pump. No clerks are involved. I don’t buy cigs and twinkies, and thanks for assuming to know me, mhendo. Weren’t you getting on my case for supposedly doing the same to the clerk? I offered the suggestion she try to get daycare through DES, which she might be able to do since she has a job that doesn’t pay well. Or are you ignoring some of my comments to suit your arguement? And it’s the childrens’ safety that concerns me, not the extra time it takes for her to do her job. But you should wonder about her concentration at said job. If something happens, will she be able to do anything?
I find the situation inappropriate, too. Commenting on her “mothering skills” still doesn’t sound like “she IS a bad mom” to me. And again, I feel you’re ignoring my statements:
*Again, I’m not saying I “know everything she’s going through” but it’s got to be hard to do her job properly * (like correctly counting back change or making sure she counts out her register drawer in a timely manner to drop money in the safe) * with her kids in the store. Also, trublmakr probably can’t offer to babysit because she has her OWN problems to deal with (as she mentioned above). She’s not in the best situation either but she doesn’t take her kids to work. Being a single parent is HARD and child safety should be a priority. There are no easy answers. *
This comment about performing her job duties was just one of the various issues this situation brings to mind, not a main gripe at all. I’m hoping she’s NOT a bad mom and that she can get help because she is devoted to her kids. I could be wrong, too. I honestly hope nothing bad ever happens while she’s on shift but how can we know?
I don’t care that she has a car, I’m saying if she can afford it (again assuming she makes payments but it’s oh, so evil of me to assume this so ignore this) that maybe her budget can be tweaked to include daycare or even getting a family member to help with a smaller amount of babysitting pay. But remember and please look back to where I stated she might try daycare through DES. I truly think she could and I’d not judge her harshly for it.
But then again, I’m talking out of my ass, aren’t I? :dubious: