Open Letter to Clueless, self-centered parents;

The BBQ Pit
1

To; Clueless Parents
From; Retail Store Staff
Re; your children’s bad behaviour

Dear Clueless Parent 1 (CP1);
We, the retail staff of ComputerStore Inc DO NOT appreciate the behavior of your children, you may think that it’s cute that your little demon-spawn are whining and caterwauling about how they don’t want to be here, how they want to “play” with the computers (and probably end up breaking them), and you may think it’s cute that your daughter keeps bonking her brother in the head with her sippy cup, causing your son to whine even more noisomely…

it’s not, our tech has a splitting headache and their caterwauling is not helping

It’s also not appreciated that your son is attempting to eat Peppridge Farm Goldfish crackers, and dropping more on the floor than he’s actually eating, that is, when he’s not sticking them up his nose, we’re not a cafeteria, we’re a computer store

and finally, it’s definitely NOT appreciated that you leave those selfsame booger-ridden Goldfish crackers on our carpet when you leave the store, please, you’re a grown woman (or at least old enough to reproduce) please clean up after your brats, children learn by watching the world around them, all you’re teaching them to be is self-centered little brats, and Og knows we have enough of them already

…as you yourself are a prime example of…

To; Clueless Parent 2 (CP2)
From; Staff
Re; Tantrum-throwing Brat

Dear CP2, <sarcasm> Thank you EVER so much for bringing in your little hellspawn into our store when he’s deep in the throes of a Gran-Mal Tantrum, I never thought I’d experience a tantrum that was so loud it would make the walls reverberate, thank you so much for that fascinating experience…</sarcasm>

Thankfully I have a box of shooters foam earplugs left over from when the jerks with the jackhammer were tearing up the floor next door, I had hoped to not have to use them again, but I’m glad I kept them there, thanks to your son’s prodigious lung power, I was still able to hear him clearly through earplugs designed to attenuate 32 decibels of noise, that vast lung capacity and near inexhaustable ability to scream nonstop for a half hour bodes well for him if he chooses to follow a carreer in politics… or any other profession that requires long bouts of high volume incoherent screaming, such as a street bum…

Please, take your <sarcasm>adorable</sarcasm> little Banshee out of our store, before our sales staff lose their hearing, it’s the polite thing to do, and feel free to visit again, BUT leave Little Banshee with a sitter, please, our employees ears will thank you

Sincerely;
Retail staff

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I offer my sympathies that you are in retail. The scenario you describe in no small way drives my decision to do most of my shopping online.

3

This reminds me of something that’s been bugging me. When did it become necessary for children of all ages to have access to some sort of snack food and sticky, colored beverage EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY?

People blame childhood obesity on fast food and video games, but I can’t help thinking the fact that they never stop eating has to be a factor as well.

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CB2 was almost as bad as the kid in this advert, at least Lil’ Banshee didn’t destroy merchandise
WARNING, MUTE SPEAKERS BEFORE CLICKING THE LINK, IT’S A HORRIBLE ADVERT

5

Whining? Bad.

Stinky whining? Very very bad.

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yes, quite, remember, this is the kid that thought he could consume Goldfish crackers nasaly…

keep the Crayons away from this one, we don’t need another Homer Simpson

7

Which is precisely the sort of thing we need to know! Do people want goldfish crackers that can be fitted nasally?

8

I normally go with both my kids at around their nap time (when they are at their crankiest) when Sprint or my cable company force me to go to their place. Let them loose and watch them tear the place down while I have to wait. Payback is a bitch.

Other than that, I time my outings with them for when I know they will behave. I will even head back home and leave an errand for another day if they are not at their smiling best.

9

Sapo:

I haven’t thought of that. Although it does remind me of the good old days when I drove a diesel and could spit out huge flumes of black smoke at tail-gaters. Ahh, those were the days.

10

Everybody in the store appreciates the parents bringing a kid into the store screaming I want to go home. It’s late on a Saturday and you’ve hauled the kid around for the last eight hours. The kid will scream for the next hour as you ignore the screams. You dear parent need a horse whipping.

11

MacTech works at Computer Store, Inc? Which one would that be? :stuck_out_tongue:

12

heh. My good old days at the wheel were on a Fiat Uno. My only weapon was the single wiper. It could fling water accross two lanes at just the right height to enter through an open window.

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Dear parents,

It’s been a few years since I worked at the MegaBookStore in the strip mall, but I’ll bet you’re still dropping your kids off in the kids’ section while you go to shop at Target.

The only reason I didn’t call the police and report your children is because the manager wouldn’t let me.

But they might have a different manager now.

PS I’m not the one who keeps putting the lavishly illustrated sex advice books in the children’s section, but I do think it’s funny, and I may or may not see them before your child does.

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Yes. I quit a playgroup because we had to provide snacks, at 0930 for an hour’s worth of play.

If there is one thing I hate while shopping, it is the sound of a crying child. Most of the time, I can identify the cry–usually the kid’s in pain or has that exhausted note of “too many errands, too long for me.” I pity these kids. And mom is almost always oblivious–how can she be? Does the kid cry that much that she just doesn’t hear it anymore? How sad is that? How can you ignore a pain cry? I don’t get people.

15

Dear not-quite-clueless parent:

When you had to go chase your screaming 3YO down to get in line to order, you let us go ahead of you, which was nice. Bringing screaming 3YO to sit beside us while you waited for your meal was not. But asking if you could have your meal boxed up to go when it became apparent 3YO was not going to stop screaming was. Thank you for allowing us to enjoy our meal.

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And even more funny to the eventual buyer of said sex advice books containing lots of sticky kiddie fingerprints and fragments of goldfish booger crackers.

Just curious - but where is our OP from? The reference to “advert” makes me think it is not the USA.

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You see, sometimes it is not bad parents or bad kids, just bad days.

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I worked in retail for a while. I saw people dragging kids around, when the kids were crying to be taken to a bathroom. Now, it’s true, some kids will use the potty excuse just to see what THIS bathroom looks like, as opposed to the half a dozen he’s already been in today. However, I do think that most of the kids really did need to go. Little kids have little bladders, which fill up quickly. Little kids also get tired easily, especially toddlers. Parents and caretakers need to take this into account.

I usually had my husband do his daddy thing while I ran errands, or we ran errands together with our child with us. Sometimes I worked out a swap with another parent to watch my daughter, and then I’d watch her kids for a while. Kids are not adults, and should have allowances made for them BY THEIR PARENTS (guardians, caretakers, whatever). A screaming child should not be inflicted upon the general public if it’s at all avoidable. Unfortunately, that child will probably grow up thinking it’s all right to haul screaming kids around.

IMO, if a kid’s screaming, it’s up to the caretaker to find out WHY, and fix it. A baby doesn’t scream for no reason. Even if it only wants to be picked up and cuddled for a bit, that’s a good reason to cry, and if a baby learns that its needs will be attended to, then it will grow up much happier and more secure, and is less likely to be a screaming kid.

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And don’t forget those stellar parents who say to said crying child, “you wanna cry; I’ll give you summthin’ to cry about!” and either smacks the kid or doesn’t. I just love those people. <sarcasm>
Kids are not adults–and I get exhausted by the mall. Sometimes naptime must be skipped or the errand is unavoidable. That’s when the parent needs to dig deep into their psyches for more patience and understanding. Involve the kid, express interest in him/her, make allowances for their crabbiness (this is not the same as letting them run amok).

I left Joanne Fabrics the other evening due to 3 small boys (they looked about ages 4, 5 and 6) running and yelling down the various aisled. Mom was busy looking at eyelet fabric–I think that was Mom. Hard to say, since NO adult took an interest in the kids. I told one of the boys to stop running. He just looked at me like no one had ever given him a limit before. Sad. The check out woman said that she had had to shoo them out of the ladies’ room! But then she told me that they are just babies…Um, no. At 4, a child should know not to run and yell in a store. At two they should know this. Hell, at one they should be stopped from doing it.

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Of course you know that there’s a substantial body of opinion (which makes up for in sheer bloodyminded tenacity what it lacks in intellectual sophistication) that holds that happiness and security are far less important to the development of a well-adjusted personality than regular and righteous applications of whoopass.