Dear Clueless Parents;
We go over this time, and time again, yet nothing seems to sink in through your thick skulls, when you are out in public, for example, at a retail store that sells expensive consumer electronics, you need to CONTROL YOUR FUCKING CROTCH-APPLES!
Yes, that means YOU, psychotic paranoid** mother, no, we DON’T appreciate your “little snowflake” screaming at the top of his fool lungs, climbing on displays, pulling inventory off the slatwall and strewing it all over the floor, and toddling around carrying a pointy metal pegboard hook, looking for stuff to hit with it, i’m sure
if your precious little “snowflake” can’t behave, I’m afraid I will have no choice but to get out the HEAT GUN!
and NO, your little hellspawn’s displays of wanton destruction and temper were NOT cute, they were NOT endearing, and they were NOT funny, he’s a terror, and not welcome in this store, nor is his mother
That goes doubly for YOU too, Mr. Absentee Father (different customer), that’s right, go ahead, ignore Junior’s ear-splitting 140 decibel screaming and temper tantrums, ignore him like he’s not there, also, try to keep your little demon OUT OF THE SERVICE AREA!!!
I AM NOT A BABYSITTER, and your little demon IS NOT WELCOME back here, thankfully, I was able to stop him in his tracks with my patented "Look-Of-Death Glare"™, I simply affixed him with a cold, evil “I could rip off your head as much as look at you” stare that stopped his progress dead in his tracks, he almost dropped the game he was carrying around
I do appreciate you carrying him out of the Employees Only area and verbally reprimanding him, but he shouldn’t have gotten back here in the first place, he got lucky, as the next phase in my Brat-Repellant arsenal is a deep, guttural muttering to myself, with an occasional look-and-snarl at your brat
He should count himself lucky he didn’t get up to the “Extremely Pointed Look” stage, as that has been known to cause children and small pets to start running away in abject terror, but I didn’t think I needed to escalate to the WMD level, yet
thankfully, the manager took care of the problem for me, asked you to control your brat, you got all huffy and left, good riddance!
**this “customer” bought a factory-new, unopened laptop from us, and no less than two days later, wanted to return it because the inner packaging was “double sealed” and she “didn’t trust it” and thought we were “pulling a fast one” on her, even though the computer was factory new, and we had not opened even the outer box, she called every day, and was verbally abusive to the sales staff, when she did return it, she even wanted us to delete her customer information, real class act, this one…
