You people are a bunch of crybabies. Those with real problems minimize them and blame others for them. Those without real problems exagerate non-problems, like nosy parents, to the same level as rape and child abuse. You pick at your scabs to keep them bleeding rather than to let them heal and move on with your lives. You have chosen paths that will leave you wounded for the rest of your lives, secure in the knowledge that some other wounded soul will prop you up with stories of his own picked scabs.
It is sad that you have chosen to be losers, but there is nothing I can do to change that. You can go through your lives, fearing that every person who shows some interest in what you do is invading your privacy. You can expand every prying parental question into psychological abuse. You can liken every concerned adult to a war criminal. And you can enter parenthood secure in the knowledge that your little dears will sit you down and tell you everything that’s bothering them without you having to ask. But, you know what? It ain’t gonna happen. Little Suzy or Tommy is NOT going to say, “Mom, I’m shooting smack” or “Georgie next door knocked me up. Isn’t that cool?”
The lines of communication have to be kept open on BOTH sides. Your kids will ask you questions. I assume you will answer truthfully. But it is incumbent on you, as the parental authority and responsible party, to ask questions, too. And pry further if you have cause to think you aren’t being told everything.
You persist in thinking that you have rights of privacy. As minor children you do not. Try to find a lawyer who will help you with your lawsuit when you tell her that your mother has been reading your journal. Hell, try to find one who won’t laugh at you.
I have grown weary of whining children and don’t feel a compelling need to spend any more of my time with you.
I’m sorry for starting this whole thing. All I wanted to do was complain a bit about my mom. It may not be as big a deal as everyone’s making it out to be, but I was pissed off at the time. Am I not allowed?
Sure. And I’m allowed to post my beliefs on THE GENERAL CONCEPT of snoopy parents.
Hypergirl, I’m sorry you ended up in the crossfire of this discussion. Your mom sounds like a pain in the ass. When I was your age my dad was a pain. I didn’t go out of my way to speak to him until shortly before he died.
But I hope she only has your best interests in mind, and you try to look at yourself through her eyes. She’s scared. Scared you hurt yourself. Scared you won’t get the help you need, like she hasn’t. Scared that she doesn’t understand why you would want to hurt yourself, or scared because she DOES understand. Talk to her. Find out what scares her. The first few tries will probably deteriorate into screaming matches, but keep trying.
I apologize for hijacking your thread. At the time I thought I was just clarifying your legal position, which IS uncomfortably close to that of a dog. I got snotty, others got snotty back, and it turned into a flamefest. I’m sorry that happened.
I apologize too, hypergirl. The whole subject cuts a little too close to home for me, and I’m on edge this week anyway. I’m sorry for hijacking your thread.
Hey! Cut ME some slack, too! I’m coming at this whole thing from the standpoint of having the usual dysfunctional childhood AND trying to not have my kids go through the same BUT having many of the same worries as hyper’s mom PLUS being raised in a houseful of lawyers who had plenty of fun at my expense when I tried raising the possibility of having legal rights. You should have been there when I came home from work griping about my union’s crappy contract when my father had been the company’s negotiator on it! Any sympathy THEN? HAH!
Falcon, I’m sorry I said bad things about your therapist, if you feel he or she is doing you some good. Like the friend I flatter myself I am, I care about you and hope you are getting the best care. Ten years is a long time to work at not hurting any more. Mine stamped my hand “SANE” and threw me out after only a few months, telling me I was in a position where I could work out the rest of my problems on my own or by (GULP!) actually talking to the people with whom I had problems.
Dropzone, I think you may be a little harsh in your condemnation of Hyper’s “whining.” In my opinion, the girl has a right to vent. My mother invaded my privacy, and to this day I can still feel the hurt and anger I felt then. Let her get it out of her system, and if it bugs you, ignore it. The teenage years are the hardest, and where else can she get the kind of advice and support she’s been getting here?
We see rants about piss-poor customer service, annoying pop singers, commercials, telemarketers and a host of other “unimportant” things. That’s what the Pit is for. This board allows us to get it off our chests, and hopefully prevent us from going on a rampage in real life. It’s the cyber-equivellent of a punching bag, and I’m glad it’s here.
This board may be the best therapy Hyper could get. She’s been vindicated on several points, which can make anyone feel better. Getting pain and rage out of you system, even if just pouring it out here on this board IS the start of healing, and the It-Happened-To-Me-Too stories from other posters can have the affect of letting someone know they’re not alone in their struggels, and gives the other posters the benefit of experiance, letting them give better advice. If my 'puter is doing something weird, I’d like to hear from someone who had the same problem and how they fixed it before I’d take the advice from someone whose system has always worked like a charm.
Yes, her mother had a legal right to do what she did, but an ethical one . . . well, that’s still being debated.
Well, what do ya know? Peace breaks out all over. That’s good. I for one am gonna chalk it up to a situation where folks started snapping back and forth, and things went a little too far. Glad we all seem to have perspective now. This IS the pit, however, so I’m NOT gonna suggest a group hug, you bunch of namby-pambys!
Actually, it was some of her defenders who got me mad. And I apologize if she saw it directed at her. I was not sufficiently clear.
It is good that we have this forum to vent. However, because there is a broader crossection of the population here you run a greater danger of gaining an unsympathetic ear than at some board mostly populated by young people. And I run the same danger than I might if I hung out only with fellow parents. It’s all part of the fun of being a Doper.
