And how much does flight time at a flying club go for anyways? And that’s only for small single-engine planes! How much would you pay to rent time on a multi-engine plane?
I say at least $50/hour to fly the plane, and for a small extra fee, you can log the flight hours as part of your training. (Instructors at a special extra hourly rate.)
And you can advertise the passenger compartment as ‘encounter therapy’ and charge $85/hour for that.
<IfWeCan’tJokeAboutItThenTheTerroristsHaveAlreadyWon>
We can cut out those big ol’ landing fees too! With our staff-recruitment programme targeting Al Qaeda training camps, who needs to land on runways?
</IWCJAITTTHAW>
I think none of you have really caught on to the spirit of Empire modern America is striving for.
Flying should be free for us. We fund it by taking over Saudi Arabia and Iran. We then enslave them and train them to build our airplanes, fueling them with their oil and funding the capital and operating costs with sales of the left-over oil to Europe.
Other things we can get for free include cars and homes. For cars, we take over Russia, use their oil for our cars and their labor for building our cars. For homes, we take over Canada (timber, construction skilled labor) and Mexico (unskilled labor).
Once we embrace empire, we will have a much better lifestyle.
No. In Russia, Labour uses YOU!
Great suggestions by everyone, but most of you are only thinking deductively. Think value added experience.
I say the more people that are packed in standing room only, the more they should charge, for the presumptive sexual experiences possible.
The thought would be to average out charges, whether passengers chose to refrain from anything or indulge, e.g., inadvertent rubbing, deliberate frottage, groping, ass-grabbing and what-not (even more could be charged if one chooses to go behind the shower curtain).
And, taking into account the possible illegality of charging for such acts, a plane that could hover over Nevada while this is happening would be great.
All you need are giant slingshots and giant nets. You shoot off from one airport and land in a giant net at the other end. Or the optional parachute, handy for landing somewhere other than the destination airport net.
Hell, you don’t even need the friggin’ airplanes. Just take folks’ money, then before boarding announce that the flight’s been cancelled for “mechanical reasons” or “severe weather in <insert city name here>”.
We might have to pop for a couple of dummy airplanes that can be pushed to and from the gates though, just to create the illusion that we’ve actually got planes.
Boy, are my arms tired.
You must have gone behind the shower curtain.
You could require that all passengers bring a gallon of aviation fuel with them.
Or you could force passengers to bring food and drink to share with everyone else. “Mr. Smith? Is that gum? Well I hope you brought enough for everyone, Mister, because you’re sharing.” Frequent flyers could coordinate so that one guy brings the donuts and another gets the coffee.
Instead of in-flight movies, everyone has to stand up and tell a story or provide some other kind of entertainment.
-I imagine that airports aren’t exactly giving away terminal space and runway usage for free these days. Which leads me to think that we should just start our own airports. And by “airports,” I mean we buy big empty fields in rural areas. And by “buy,” I mean we squat.
-No online reservations, no phone reservations, hell, no reservations whatsoever. Computers and customer service agents cost money. Passengers should just show up at the nearest designated field and wait for a plane to land. First come, first serve.
-Cover every inch of the plane-- inside and out-- with ad space. If it works for NASCAR, it’ll work for an airline.
Don’t forget the product placement announcements:
Welcome to ChargeAir flight 021, sponsored by Dramamine. In a few short minutes, the Black&Decker ground crew will be pushing us off for take off. We are currently 137th in line for take off, but for a small additional fee, I can pull the Doritos 737 to the front of the line. In the event of a water landing, the Zebco seat cushions can be used as flotation device for a fee of $275. For you comfort and survival, the Little Debbie stewardess team will be sell oxygen for $2/minute, when we reach our crusing altitude of 37,000 feet. If you wish to open the HBO porthole, please deposit 4 quarters in the slot for a minute of breathtaking and or hair raising viewing. Again thank you for flying ChargeAir sponsored by Darmimine, where everyday is a Mayday!
Sign an iron-clad, preflight waiver absolving the airline of any and all liability in the event of a catastrophe and pass the savings off to the passenger. Why should your survivors become the beneficiaries of a seven figure insurance check while the unfortunate slobs who got splatted against the side of a mountain did all the hard work?
I flew into Columbus (SkyBus’ hub) last week. I saw two of their planes.
One was the one for their commercials; painted up with the huge Skybus logo and graphics.
One wasn’t. It was painted with a huge Nationwide logo, with a small skybus logo on the tail. I wish I would have gotten a picture of it…
(Just wondering… is it a bad omen that an insurance company is sponsoring your plane?)
Quite the opposite.
You’re almost there… you just need to take this idea away from the budget model and on into the luxury model. After all, people pay MORE for hotels and apartments with workout rooms…