100 (or so). The Grand Canyon, far from being the result of millions of years of erosion by winds and water, is actually what is left of the first “big dig” by the ancestors of the infamous Boston project. It leaked so badly that it was abandoned.
Mt. Rushmore was originally supposed to be a giant mooning of North Dakota. After carving the first cheek, the sculptor noted that it bore a striking resemblance to Jefferson’s nose.
The pyramids are the result of a breast fetish by Ptolomy III.
99+. Skeptical biographers of Joan of Arc have attributed the voices she attributed to various saints and angels as actually coming from her kid brother, Jimmy of Arc. They point out that Jimmy’s bedroom being directly above the area where she prayed and the early voices including commands from the archangel Gabriel to “give to thy brother thy share of Mom… I mean thy Mom’s… chocolate mousse tonight” and to “go thou to the bully that hath twice taken the lunch sous of thy brother Jimmy and smite him with a rod and before the village pull down his pants” really did not help the cause of the French monarchy.
99++. The most popular standup comic in 19th century Vienna was Ziggy Friend, but when he had a series of nightmares after hearing his opening act sing the new song “I Want to Marry a Girl Just Like the One Who Married Dear Old Dady” and later when he totally choked when a heckler called him a “motherf*cker” and could only muster the comeback “Why… why… why would you say that? I really don’t have carnal thoughts about my lover… I mean mother!” he changed lines of works, went back to his real name of Sigmund Freud and changed history and insurance guidelines for all time.
99+++. The most powerful resistance leader against the conquistadores in Peru was the warrior Denqadu. Though his rebellion ultimately failed, he was immortalized in the native song Inca Denqadu, which enjoyed a surprising novelty hit in the 20th century.
104 Original release of Sergeant Pepper had a third stereo channel, which played back throuh the Gentronomic tri-speaker system. Subsequent attempts to recreate the effect with ordinary stereo have fallen well short, leaving listeners unaware of the innovations the album presented.
105 Field hockey was invented in 1890, when a lack of compressed gas required small balls to be used in football competitions in most of England and parts of Europe.
106–Pirates were implicated, on the basis of parrot feathers found onsite.
The parrot was found to be dead, which served as part of the inspiration for a certain English comedy troupe slightly later in the decade. However, the Goons found that they could do nothing with the joke.
A follow-up to #4: Julius Caesar was not killed for political gain, as some books would have you believe, but rather because of an overdue scroll from the library at Alexandria. “Et tu, Brute” translates roughly as “230 drachmas for Tropic of Cancer? Oy!”
Batman, in his first comic appeareance, not only killed people, but danced.
There was a government conspiracy to rig the results of the 2000 US presidential election to but George Bush into power…but only because a maverick NSA agent had discovered that Al Gore was, in fact, a clone of Reinhard Heydrich being controlled by the remnants of ODESSA.
Woodstock was, in fact, financed by the KGB…primarily as an attempt to raise funds from ticket sales.
I’m a fan of Sister Aimee, the Electoral College & J. Edgar, and all these make me laugh!
“Sergeant Pepper” was the codename for a secret US Army project to create a supercharged saltpeter for basic trainees. The plan was uncovered when George Harrison, at the time a drill sergeant, attempted to intimidate a trainee by slamming down the trainee’s glass of water in one gulp. He became suspicious when his guitar wouldn’t keep its tune that night.
Although the US Army abandoned the “Sergeant Pepper” project, the Air Force continued it under the name of “Aquavita”. They eventually developed it into an intense psychedelic drug which created illusions in its takers’ minds that they were undergoing training in south Texas. During his Super Bowl halftime performance, Paul McCartney revealed subliminally that Lackland Air Force Base in San Antonio is actually an illusion. However, the network analysts failed to pick up on it because they were preoccupied by the task of privately re-“analyzing” the Janet Jackson halftime show.
Recently discovered manuscripts from the 10th century have revealed that “Unready” is an inaccurate translation of the moniker of King Ethelred II. They also reveal that he received several large payments from the Ray-O-Vac Corporation.
The Bake Sale was a failure, when everybody brought Rhubarb Pie.
“…That night, in the officer’s mess tent, General Tso and Colonel Sanders discovered that they had somethig else in common…”
There is a statue at Church and Wellesley of the man named Alexander Wood. A magistrate who was accused of sexual harassment after intimately examining the genitals of suspects in a rape case because the victim apparently scratched her attacker in said intimate areas.
Certain people are the results of early cloning experiments, which were discontinued when it was discovered that clones are immortal and undestrucible. The only three known clones are Brian Wilson, Dick Clark, and Keith Richards.
Most people don’t realise that the rear of that statue’s plinth has a brass plaque honouring Alexander the Great.
During the 13th and 14th centuries, many philosophers spent their time on the question “Whatever becomes of the broken-hearted?”
They never did find an answer.
Although Mother Theresa’s entire life consists of ‘service to the common man’, not all of it was done as a nun, or in the form of charity work in Calcutta. In her early life, she worked as a dominatrix (her professional name was Leather Mama)…and one of her most frequent clients was…Buck Henry.
The sneak attacks on Pearl Harbor were masterminded by…Buck Henry.
Rome was sacked by…Buck Henry.
The Tet offensive was initiated by…Buck Henry.
Napoleon went to Waterloo on the advice of…Buck Henry.
Julius Caesar’s last wood were actually “Fuck You, Buck” in response to being stabbed by…Buck Henry
The Sgt. Pepper’s album cover was actually an impromptu photo. The Beatles hung out in the park for 3 hours, then snapped the camera of the crowd that had gathered around them. It only looks like they are famous people in there.