_Frauenliebe und -leben_ in 30 seconds or less

  1. ZOMG, I just saw this total studmuffin down at the mall!
  2. I think he’s out of my league, though.
  3. ZOMG, he asked me out! I wanna marry him! I wanna marry him!
  4. I’m gonna marry him!
  5. I married him!
  6. Bun in the oven!
  7. Bun out of the oven!
  8. God damn it, why’d you have to go and eat the salmon mousse?!

(There is a 9th poem in the cycle, which Robert Schumann did not set. The heroine is now an old widow, and her daughter has grown up and is about to get married herself. It can be best summed up as, “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”)