a 5 business day backlog *IS* a 5 business day backlog...

The BBQ Pit
1

“Dear” customer;

when you are quoted a FIVE BUSINESS DAY backlog before i can get your machine on the bench for diagnosis/repair DO NOT call back in TWO asking “is it done yet?”, no, it is NOT done, it hasn’t even hit the frakkin’ bench yet, and all your call is doing is pissing me off

i do not care that it’s your only machine and you run your business on it, if you rely that much on a computer to keep you in business, then perhaps you might want to consider investing in a backup machine for these situations, or maybe you shouldn’t have sold the old machine to pay for the new one, wouldn’t it be nice to have a backup machine, even if it’s old, at least it still works…

all your impatient whinging does is piss me off and make sure you get the bare minimum service to fix your machine, nothing more, only what’s needed to get it functional again, you won’t get the insides vaccumed out (special electronics vaccum that’s grounded and does not create an ESD field), the case cleaned, and the OS tweaked for performance

i’ll never perform a substandard repair, but you won’t get the niceties that the nice, understanding, and above all, PATIENT customers get, i won’t explain what i did (you can read that on your invoice anyway), all you’ll get is your machine handed back and a thank you for your business, no free hints or tips

you were made aware at time of drop-off that we have 2 labor rates, standard (5 business day backlog), and emergency (on the bench NOW), you chose standard so don’t expect emergency service for that price

i’m the only service tech here, and your machine is NOT the only one i’m working on, you’ll have to wait in line like everybody else, i work on machines on a first-come-first-served basis, your machine is behind others that were dropped off before you, get a clue, if it’s truly an emergency, you’re more than welcome to upgrade to emergency service, but expect to be billed at the emergency rate

one final note, you do realize constantly calling me asking for status is slowing down your repair, you’re eating up time i could be using to get my other jobs off the bench and yours on the bench, your constant harranguing is slowing your own repair down, give it a rest…

2

oh, forgot to add my closing comment…

remember the following quote and we’ll get along fine…

“A lack of planning on your part DOES NOT constitute an emergency on MY part…”

thank you, i’ll be here all week, try the veal and don’t forget to tip your waitress…

3

He should get a Windows box. Then he could afford two machines.

Hell, a Linux box. Then he could have three.

…d&r…

4

How many times did this guy call?

5

I wish we had a five-day backlog. Ours can be measured in months.

6

okay, lets stop with the Mac Vs. windows thing in this thread, m’kay, it’s no secret i’m a Mac fanatic (as the username makes blatantly obvious) but this thread has nothing to do with Mac Vs. PC, ALL machines have the potential to fail, the platform/OS is irrelavent

this guy’s called at least 3 times since he’s dropped it off, he’s one of those “I’m important and you should move me up to Emergency status but bill me for standard” kinda’ people…

‘aint gonna’ happen, you want Emergency service, you PAY Emergency rates, heck it’s only $25 more than standard anyway…

…self important prick, go away and let me work

7

How typical is this in the industry?
Are you always backed up 5 biz days?
Is it the same way in PC service?

8

Next time he calls, tell him that you’re going to bill him $10 for every phone call before the 5-business-day backlog period is over.

Maybe then he’ll figure out that he should either shut up or upgrade to emergency service. $25 extra, and he’s being that bit a jackoff? Sheesh.

9

1; dunno, i’m the only tech in our store, really depends on the workload
2; not always, i have had 1 and 2 day turnarounds in slow times, sometimes as long as 7 days when it gets really heavy
3; dunno, since hardware failures are platform-agnostic, i’d imagine so, if anything, the PC service departments (we’re a Mac-Only shop) would be more backed up due to the prevalance of PC Malware, but on the flipside, those stores probably have more than one tech on staff so the workload is spread to multiple techs…

10

Have you told him this? Why not, the next time he calls, tell him exactly what you told us?

“I have other machines ahead of yours, and your phone calls are delaying me getting to them, which means you’re delaying me getting to yours. If you want emergency service, you are welcome to pay for it, and I will fix your machine ASAP. Otherwise, I will be happy to call you in (x) days when I am finished with your machine. Thank you for your patience and understanding.”

11

Five days? Fuck it! We throw the box out.