I’m posting this in the Pit because that’s where it appears to be most needed. I wrote these originally as rules for traveling in foreign parts; however, it seems to me that conversing with people from other countries is a form of mental travel. References to sewing flags on backpacks should be taken metaphorically in this context, but not ignored.
Do not expect other countries to be exactly like your own. Not only is it rude, but you are certain to be disappointed.
When you visit another country, look first for things you can honestly praise or learn from. Stress these things when you converse with other people, whether they are locals or fellow travelers.
If you do find reason to critique someone else’s country, apply the same standards when you examine your own.
Be honest about the things you don’t like about your own culture. This is not only a healthy attitude in itself, it will often score you free beer. When other people are honest about the things they don’t like about their cultures, the polite thing to do is buy them a beer and tell them something you like about wherever it is they come from – not join them in bashing the place.
On the other hand, don’t bend over backwards apologizing for everything your compatriots have ever done wrong since the seventeenth century. You are not responsible for them. You’re responsible for you.
If you are American, for God’s sake don’t sew a Canadian flag on your backpack. Concentrate instead on showing the world that Americans can be intelligent, open-minded, and courteous. Since many people have preconceived notions about ugly Americans, you will have to be twice as courteous as other people on occasion. But don’t abandon the good fight.
If you are Canadian / Australian / Belgian / whatever, don’t sew your own country’s flag on your backpack just so you won’t be taken for one of those awful Americans / New Zealanders / French / whatever.
Have a little common sense about geography. Europe is not a country (yet). New Zealand and Australia are not the same place. “England,” “Great Britain,” and “the UK” are not synonymous. A simple glance at a map will make all of these things clear.
If you have read about a place, but never been there, and you meet someone who is from that place, for goodness’ sake don’t tell them about it. Ask them about it.
Take the time to learn a couple words in the language of the place you are in. It doesnt take much and all the words you need to know can be picked up by listening to the people around you. Please learn to say “hello” “please” “thank you” and “excuse me”. Those three words seperate you from the godless heathens that invade other countries looking for Disneyland. They earn you instant respect (in that they show a little bit of respect for the host country).
True story: In a tiny town on the Italian Riviera, my travel partner and I ate in a tiny restraunt on a seaside cliff. We ordered in out usual way, buy pointing at the item we wanted and attempting to pronouce it (thankfully the waiter usually takes over) and peppering the conversation with the few Italian words we do know (which is not much beyond “please” and “thank you”. We soon got our wonderful meal.
A group of young American tourists came in to the empty restraunt. They sat down and ordered in English, causeing the waiter to look perplexed (they didnt even try to say anything in Italian or even use body language to communicate). Eventually they got their food and ate. They then demanded to know what kind of animal the meat they were eating came from. They demanded this loudly in English, as if the non-english-waiter could somehow decode their complex request. He looked really really confused and after the Americans repeated their question several times, he came over to us, as if we could speak Italian. Being the monogots that we are, we replied in italiansized Spanish (Spanish being a language we can speak with some success). Eventually the idea got across and replied to the Americans by mooing.
Moral: DOnt walk in to some place on another part of the planet and start blathering in English, expecting to be understood. Not only will they not understand you, they will be frusterated and insulted.
You don’t have to be outwardly magnanimous about it, nor do you have to include every person within four blocks of your hotel. But when in a developing nation - tip like a banshee. If your meal costs much less because you are in there, ignore the exchange rate for your tip. If you would normally tip $3-4.00 for lunch add enough Rand, cedi, or whatever it would take to make the few bucks. Out to a nice dinner in the city? It only runs you eight bucks a head for a meal that would have cost you thirty? Lay down four or five bucks per person, not a dollar or so. Give them how much you would want to do the same job. Tip like a banshee.
i think a good start is bargaining. let’s be honest, people, it a game, there is no need to get angry over the 25 cents you might be saving on a trinket you’re bringing back for a friend. i think bargaining is very hard for Americans because it isn’t part of our culture, so let’s keep it simple.
from my experiences in SE Asia: the first quoted price is usually 2 or 3 times what the seller is willing to let it go for. they aren’t always trying to rip you off–it’s just standard for any transaction (watch the locals having to do the same and you’ll understand). make you first offer according to this and be ready for the mock disbelief. be ready to walk after your second or third offer and you’ll get the item at a decent price…no stress.
i loved sharing a bus in Bali with an idiot from “Hollywood” as he shared his idea that the entire country had no idea how to run their businesses (“you gotta move the merchandise–you have a lot of overhead!”) just because somebody wouldn’t give him a silver ring for the price he asked–all of 50 cents cheaper than the seller’s final offer. he spent 2 hours in paradise arguing over a ring he’ll wear a couple of times. what a waste.
also, please be patient and have a sense of humor when buses/trains/planes don’t arrive on time. very few cultures share our obsessiveness about being on time. you’re on vacation and if you haven’t allowed for some delays, you’re not planning well…
Fretful Porpentine, i have to agree with your idea #6. i’m never ashamed to be American because i know that i’m not a loud-mouth idiot. but i take the time to learn local history before i go and i don’t have to act interested when learning about other cultures. i always figure when i’m backpacking that 5% of the population is going to like you for no personal reason, 5% is going to hate you for no personal reason (although they often have a good political or historical reason to hate Americans), and 90% of the people are pretty indifferent. i don’t worry about the angry 5% and i give a smile to everyone to help my case with the 90%…
whatever) The fact that you are an American and I am an American does not mean that I want to spend my entire trip (in a country other than America):
a) being your tour guide
b) translating for you
c) commiserating about whatever you are complaining about and agreeing that “this would never be allowed to happen in the States.”
d) having you tag along everywhere I go
e) interceding for you with locals that you’ve pissed off with your complete idiocy
Why do I always find people like this? I’m always happy to make friends on the road, but I always manage to run into complete idiots who expect me to babysit them.
whatever + 1) There are some regions of the world where the dollar is very strong, so things seem very cheap to Americans. However, in such places (Eastern Europe, for example), much of the population is struggling to survive on a day to day basis. Talking loudly about how “Everything is SO cheap here! I could buy the whole country with a couple of paychecks” in front of locals will NOT make them like you. It is the epitome of rude.
whatever + 2) Watch where you swing that giant fucking backpack!
That’s it for now, but I’m sure I’ll think of more.
Just because someone isn’t speaking in English doesn’t mean that they can’t listen in it. The same goes for any language. Assumptions are not our friends.
Seeing people learn this the hard way can be quite interesting…
If you drink the water and get diarrhea, then stop drinking the water!
If you’re in an English speaking country, or know enough of the language to get by, ask the waiters what’s good at the restaurant you’re at. You’ll often find something quite yummy that you won’t find stateside.
Well, I originally posted this as a response to Major Feelgud, QUINCY’’’ et al, but it seems to have morphed into a general travel advice thread. I’m starting to think I like it better this way. Mods, is there any chance you could transfer it to MPSIMS if you’ve got time?
When I was in the Navy about 10 years ago, we had a class in Behaving Ourselves Abroad.
We were advised to keep the ten-pound gold crosses and witnessing to ourselves. Seems not all countries feel the same way we do about religion. Makes sense, actually.
Wow, I agree with everything said here. Backpacking is fantastic, and your experience will be best if you behave with courtesy. I can only think of a few additions.
Make friends with your fellow backpackers, of all nationalities.
Be noncommittal if someone berates your country. Don’t get angry, just prove them wrong with your politeness. Saying “Well, we’re the most powerful nation in the world and we could kick your ass!” is not really a way to win someone over.
If you are in a country from which your ancestors came, don’t act like you just came home and this is your true culture. Saw some irritating behavior of this sort in Ireland and Israel. Israelis in particular get pissed off if you think that being Jewish gives you some right to their country (come back after you serve in the army for two years).
Don’t treat the locals like they’re there solely for your camera! They aren’t “quaint”!
Well-chosen and intelligent thread, FP, a breath of fresh air compared to a few of late.
Just a couple of hints I can think of
Don’t get angry/irate or load too easily, although a raised voice, is often accepted in western countries, many cultures abhor this type of expressiveness, or simply do not comprehend it.
Don’t take yes for yes, many people, especially Asian, will nod or say yes if they don’t understand you or don’t know an answer to your questions. Recognising when this is the case can be very useful, as repeating or rephrasing the question will simply get a second nod.