My mother went on holiday last week. I was has happy she was having a holiday. She deserved it. She asked me to look after her dog and cat. No problem! I love the dog and I don’t hate the cat.
They (her and her friend) had a wonderful time. It was a walking tour in a region of New Zealand. They wandered along beaches, they saw seals, they roamed over farmland, they met cool people, they stayed in nice places (and had their luggage meet them at the next place) and they visited a vineyard or two. A jolly good time had by all.
When mum arrived home she said “I bought you a present” and gave me a bottle of wine. My mother is a bit of a wine snob. I am not. I usually drink two bottles a week (yes far too much!) and tend to spend NZ$10-15 on a bottle, a perfectly presentable drop but nothing that will send the wine reviewers into spasms of delight.
So mum gives me the bottle of wine along with this gem “It was expensive! It’s not just to drink”
Tonight she rang me just to check I hadn’t opened it because “it was expensive and it’s not just for drinking!”.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!”. At the best of times she is a skinflint, I bet the bottle didn’t cost more then twenty dollars (NZ) but FUCK IT IS A BOTTLE OF WINE!!! What am I supposed to do with it!!! Frame it? Put it aside to crown the head of my first grandchild? Crack it over the bow of a ship? Use it to cook something spectacular? Put it in the wine rack under a large arrow pointing out it’s price? Wait till a visiting dignitary pops in? Cart it around as an “expensive” accessory?
At this stage I am very tempted to give it to her dog. I reckon a pissed Airedale could be amusing.
Am I being unreasonable if I just drink the fucking thing and revel in the fact that it was “expensive”? Or should I just go with my instincts and tell her that is JUST A FUCKING BOTTLE OF WINE and she needs to learn how to give a present and SHUT UP!!!
I apologise for the exclamation marks but it helped. I am calm again
Now tell me stories about presents that gave you more grief then happy-happy-joy-joy (or am I alone?).
I don’t think two bottles of wine a week is too much. Being a vinophile myself, and one who can easily put away a bottle in a matter of hours while simply reading a book (although I do this rarely; I probably average two to three bottles a week), I did a little calculating to try to determine if I was overdoing it.
Now, assuming the typical 750ml bottle of wine is roughly 26 oz., and has an alcohol content of 10%, that works out to only 2.6 oz. of alcohol from an entire bottle, or roughly the equivalent of drinking three Bombay Sapphire gin martinis. So, if you’re drinking two bottles a week, you’re only drinking the alcohol equivalent of about one martini (or most other mixed drinks) a day.
As far as you mom goes, perhaps she’s thinking it should be saved for a special occasion. (Given that she’s a wine snob, I imagine she knows that it can’t be opened and used sporadically for cooking or over several holiday periods without its becoming oxidized.) Either that or she thinks you should just display it in order to impress other wine snobs.
I’d just ask her what she has in mind and then if it doesn’t suit you, you can always say that you rarely have an opportunity to enjoy such a ‘fine’ wine and that you’re going to go ahead and treat yourself accordingly.
P.S.: Have you Googled the wine? If you truly do have a really expensive and nice bottle of wine there, you might want to save it for a special occasion yourself…you know, like for whenever I might make it to NZ.
Sorry about the slight hijack and not offering a tale of my own, but, what the hey!..nobody else is here this time of morning.
Maybe you could throw The Wine a dinner party. Clean the whole house, make a fancy meal, wear your best clothes. Set a place at the head of the table for The Wine. Then propose a toast, and guzzle the guest of honor straight from the bottle!
I have never googled a wine ever but I just looked at it again (I’m only allowed to look!) bad news! It’s a Reisling. My mother IS a skinflint!
New Zealand does good Sauvignon Blanc and even a decent Chardonnay but Reisling? Nope my mother is a cheap arse control freak
If you ever visit NZ, I will find you a good wine and I won’t tell you it was expensive (we have plenty…I strongly doubt the bottle I have is one of them)
Please forgive my presumption, but do you know of the Google search engine? I assumed it was available the world over but it sounds like you’re not familiar with it. (Or am I being whooshed? )
That’s funny; I had no idea my mother had moved to New Zealand.
Or that calm kiwi was my sibling, apparently.
My mother gives us gift certificates to area restaurants for Christmas and birthdays - with the caution that, “It’s not just for eating out! Save it for something special!”
Well, if it’s not for eating out, WTF is it for?
You know what? It’s been a long week, a sucky week at work, and I don’t feel like cooking. I do feel like having a Blooming Onion, a steak the size of my head and a couple of beers, and the wonderful feeling of knowing I can plunk down a gift certificate and not have to pay for it.
Hey, whadda ya know? It’s a ‘Special Occasion’!
…great, calm kiwi and Starving Artist, two of my favourite posters, in the same thread! I must contribute…kiwi, what vintage was on the bottle? What region was she touring and what was the Vineyard?
I didn’t know you were into the wine Starving, so I now take back my offer of a Steinlager, and now offer you a glass of Kim Crawford 2004 Tietjen Briant Gisborne Chardonnay. instead. I’m not at all a big wine drinker, but I’m stuck in an industry where knowing a little bit about wine is part of the job…
Sounds great, my friend! Thanks for both the compliment and the wine.
I’m not familiar with that particular Chardonnay but I’m sure it’s quite good; New Zealand is developing an excellent reputation for wine production these days.
I’m presuming the Steinlager would still be your drink of choice? After all, no one says a beer drinker and a wine drinker can’t sit together in fellowship and good cheer (until the beer drinker falls off his stool that is.)
…actually my favourite tipple would be DB Export Dry, an easy drinking beer that isn’t really that exciting, and has slowly disappeared from NZ pubs over the years, but is pretty easy drinking.
In that case rest assured that I shall leave no stone unturned – nor pub door unopened – in my quest to repay your wine-gifting kindness by locating a couple gallons( ) of this fine brew for your quaffing enjoyment.
(Excuse me…For some reason I seem to have suddenly begun channelling roger thornhill.)
Carefully open the bottle- I assume a cork and wrapper, but keep them as intact as possible.
Drink the wine.
Fill the bottle with water when you are done.
Replace the cork and wrapper.
Place it back in the wine rack. if she asks to open it, reply “I’m saving it for a special occasion- I’ll let you know.” Stall for as long as necessary.
Oops! Sorry, calm kiwi…it’s just occurred to me that I’ve been traipsing all over your thread. My apologies, as I’ve been up all night and am now pretty much on automatic pilot. You are one of my favorite posters too, and I meant no offense. I think I’ll bow out now.
Bed calls, just finished a double shift supervising some corporate boxes for a mate at the Westpac Stadium, NZ played the West Indies at Cricket, and we won! But now every bone in my body hurts, even typing is hard! So night to you Starving, I hope we haven’t doomed this thread to MPSIMS! :eek:
…that may just work! Most NZ wines are moving towards the Stelvin, or “Screw Caps”. Take the lid off, drink the wine, fill with water, replace lid. Brilliant!
Better yet, fill it with something like stale Coke or Pepsi and invite your mom over for a special dinner. Open the bottle and pour her a glass, remarking all the while over it’s special color and aroma, blah blah blah. Then watch her sputter when she takes a tase
)