A bunch of Bond movies were on the other day

Let’s nitpick:

I watch Goldfinger, and the car with the dead guy goes through the crusher, and I wonder, as small of a cube as it becomes, why he isn’t oozing out like toothpaste.

Was it Dr. No, where Bond is crawling down the inside of a big pipe and, oh no!, here comes a huge torrent of water. He stretches out and holds on, and the water passes over him. When he gets to the end of the pipe, he kicks out a flimsy metal grate and climbs out. There is no evidence of the water in the room. Did I miss something?

The problem I have with that scene is that the crushed car is then put in the bed of another car/pickup (what was that, anyway) which seems to carry it just fine. The crushed car may be smaller, but it still weighs as much as a car.

Actually, there are all kinds of problems with that part of the movie. Why would Goldfinger tell all the gangsters about his plan just to kill them a minute later? Why build that whole briefing room in the first place? Why not have Oddjob take the gold out of the car rather than have to pry it out after it’s crushed?

I don’t recall the exact order of things, but the pipe Bond is crawling through branches off in other directions, including (if I remember correctly) down. It’s possible the water flowed somewhere else.

I read the book ages ago, and I got the impression that the pipe Bond escaped through was intended as a test, or to torture or kill him, and that there were observers watching him crawl through it. Can anyone else who’s read it confirm that?

Yeah, the crushed car was a 1963-64 Lincoln Continental, which weighs 5000 lbs without the gold. And they put it in a Ranchero, I think, which had a capacity of 800 lbs. It sags a bit, but in real life it would have been collapsed down around the wheels.

Dennis

Yeah, the “escape pipe” was a planned torture thing in the novel Dr. No, and No observed Bond throughout his tribulations. In the movie it was just a pipe. Nobody knew how big the Bond franchise was going to get, I suppose, so they cut some corners in the first flick.

Also, Honeychile Rider was just gonna get drowned in the movie. In the book she was tied down in the path of thousands of big icky crabs. Dr. No didn’t realize she was a stone Nature Girl, and simply loved having big icky crabs climb all over her nekkid body.

Not to mention that the $1M of gold bullion is now smashed somewhere in the middle of the cube and has to be extracted (by sawing through it with recip saws? Cutting with a blowtorch?) where it would have been easy enough to just pull it out of the trunk before compacting the car.

And yet, this is only the eighth or ninth more implasible detail in Goldfinger, notwithstanding that Bond gets himself captured (twice, three times if you count his abortive escape in Kentucky), gets both of the Masterson sisters killed through his carelessness and ineptitude, trashes his bulletproof and gadget equipped Aston Martin because he gets confused an advanced technological device known as a “mirror”, fails to send a signal to the CIA even though they are observing him, and cheats at golf. Bond doesn’t do one thing in the film to actually stop Goldfinger unless you count “seducing” (i.e. forcing himself upon) Pussy Galore, converting her from a man-hating lesbian to turncoat who betrays her boss. (We can only assume that she realized that Goldfinger’s plan was pure idiocy and used Bond as a convenience avenue to seek immunity from prosecution in exchange for her assistance in foiling the destruction of the Federal Reserve Depository at Fort Knox.)

There was never any real need for an Austin Powers movie; Goldfinger is pure self-satire. Now, let’s talk about Skyfall

Stranger

The crushed auto was inspired by a newspaper article on how the Mafia was making certain people disappear. It was proposed to one of the producers (Cubby Broccoli, I think) in his office and he paid (IIRC) $500 for it on the spot. So it was a real thing, just would probably have been a lot messier than shown in the movie. And yeah, that was one powerful little pickup truck, eh?

As for extracting the gold, it was shown earlier that Goldfinger had blast furnaces at the plant in Switzerland, as part of his smuggling operation. We’re left to assume he had one in Kentucky as well.

He’d planned to kill them all along, just needed a way to lure them into the room.

What I never understood was why he needed both the gangsters *and *the Chinese. Beijing couldn’t supply the nerve gas along with the laser and nuclear device? It was just something the screenwriters cooked up to make things more interesting.

And hey, that nerve gas must really have been concentrated, eh? It’s let into the atmosphere at an altitude of between 500 and 1000 feet, and those soldiers dropped dead (supposedly) not even a second later!

He’s spent all those evenings putting together his diorama for Fort Knox and he just had to show it off to someone, even if it killed them. It’s like when your Uncle Jack insists you come down to the basement to look at his new expansion of his model train village even though the entire area is strewn with worn extension cables and puddles of condensation.

The Chinese supplied the weapon, but he needed the gangsters to import the components and other things needed for his plan, because smuggling nuclear weapons is exactly like smuggling heroin.

Of course, it makes little sense that Goldfinger, who describes his obsession as “All my life I’ve been in love with its color… its brilliance, its divine heaviness,” would blow up the largest stockpile of gold he has ever seen or wouldn’t at least avail himself of at least a few bars of bullion while in the vault. It would be like Donald Trump going to “inspect” the Miss Universe pageant and not taking the opportunity to go backstage and creepily gawk at naked contestants.

Stranger

Exactly my point. The Chinese can do it all, so why involve gangsters? I know he says in the movie they smuggled in the nerve gas for him (presumably from Canada), but doesn’t China have nerve gas? Just pack the canisters in the same crate as the bomb (it’s never revealed how they got *that *into the country) and you’re all set!

You say that as though it were a bad thing… :dubious: :confused:

Glad to hear you guys mentioning this. That whole sequence always bugged the hell out of me, although to be fair, it’s not like the rest of the film was some paragon of kitchen-sink realism.

This happens often in Bond films of this era – supervillans exterminating mobsters, it also happened in Diamonds Are Forever. Something about the era made it seem alright.

OK. Now its time for me to be obtuse – who says Pussy Galore is a lesbian? Oh she says she’s “immune” to charming, and doesn’t care for James’ rapport. But does that make her a lesbian? Oh she’s a tough woman, and she’s the skipper of an all-girl flying squad. But I don’t think I’m missing any subtle “wink-wink” evidence that she’s absolutely playing for the team which doesn’t contain James Bond. She’s just saying, “I’m not easy to manipulate.”

Heck. In From Russia with Love, I don’t even believe Roza Klebb is a lesbian. Yeah, she grabs Tatiana’s legs – but she’s just testing if Tatiana is really able to fake being slutty for Bond.

Arkcon:

Not limited to that era - didn’t it also happen in A View To A Kill?

I think it was explicit in the book, but it wasn’t something Hollywood was prepared to do more than hint at.

It was explicitly stated in the books. P.G. was an out-of-the-closet lesbian, and Rosa Kleb overtly made a pass at Tatiana.

Lord of the Rings must have been unbearable for you with all the unrealistic nonsense.

My pet theory for the gangster deaths was that Goldfinger had it planned from the start it was going to be an “all-or-nothing” deal with them. If they all agreed, they would all get their shares of the money but even if one decided to abandon the project they would all have to die. Why? Well if one guy left he might just blab to the government or someone else and jeopardize the plan and so he would have to be killed immediately (while still putting on a show for anyone watching he was leaving fair and square). Now that he was dead however, the other gangsters might suddenly wonder where he went and if they realized he was dead might also attempt to leave early fearing a Goldfinger reprisal for themselves. Thus, they all had to die to cover-up his plan if they all weren’t unanimous.

According to Wikipedia China was never really big on chemical or nerve weapons. Apparently Chile was experimenting with nerve gas in the 60’s so you can imagine it was smuggled in from there.

Hey, all I know is Roger Moore had a pair of Olin Mark VI Comp SL’s in that one movie.

That was fuckin’ awesome!

(I had a pair. Put about 2 million vertical feet on them. Wish I could find a good pair now)

In the novel, Goldfinger’s plan was to actually steal the Fort Knox gold (loading it on a train IIRC). How he thought he would somehow manage to get a train full of gold out of the country when every element of the U.S. military and law-enforcement agency would be searching for him…<shrug>

The screenwriters’ decision to change it to irradiating the Fort Knox gold stockpile in order to “…cause economic chaos in the west” actually seems reasonable in comparison to that.

Bond does seem to stumble haplessly through the movie. But to be fair, his original assignment was just to discover how Goldfinger was managing to smuggle gold out of England, which he does (spoiler alert - the gold is made into parts of the bodywork of Goldfinger’s Rolls Royce). He’s actually leaving Goldfinger’s Swiss plant with that information when he stumbles across the second Masterson sister, which leads to all the subsequent events (getting captured, etc., discovering the details of operation “Grand Slam”, etc.)

In the novel, it is stated outright that PG is a lesbian, because IIRC she was raped by her brother when she was twelve. But Bond “cures” her. :rolleyes:

I never understood the seduction scene in the book version of FRWL. Earlier, Kronsteen reads her dossier and it says that Rosa Klebbs was a Neuter - she had no sexual desires. Then Klebbs tries to seduce Tatiana, Tatiana freaks out and runs away, and that’s the last we hear of it.

It is sort of like the scene in The Man With The Golden Gun, where Scaramanga eats a snake. It doesn’t seem to do much beyond establishing the character as creepy.

Regards,
Shodan