A butterfly flaps its wings in China

And the sound of it wakes me up in the Isle of Man.

I swear I have no useful superpowers, but when I am trying to get to sleep I have hearing that makes spiderman seem like a deaf old godger and sight that makes superman envious.

I got two words for you: white noise.

I have but one word for you: Percodan.

Or Tylenol PM, if you want to be a pussy about it.

Excuse me, I live within the laws of Britain where anything useful is strictly illegal.

I am aware of the concept of uniform sound as an aid to sleep. In my part of the world options are limited. I actually managed to get to sleep one time with (not quite uniform) radio white noise playing at max volume (to drown out my neighbour’s’s fUCKing irritating sunny dispositions and megaphone-volume voices at fuckoff-oclock in the everywhere) but only once.

I reckon I should move to tibet or end my life in a painless way. any suggestions?

Either works for me. :smiley:

I have a relatively inexpensive clock-radio/CDplayer/noise generator, without which I’d never be able to catch a wink; my bedroom window is over a daycare center playground, I work till midnight, home by 1am, in bed by 3 or 4am, sleep till around 11am. If my white noise maker ever quits on me, you will read about a daycare-center massacre in the papers.

So you must be willing to help with suggestions right?

You want me to look up flights to Tibet for you?

Ear plugs?

Headphones attached to your computer playing a sound loop, either white noise or wind or waves breaking.

So you don’t want me dead or remote then. Those were what I gathered by your reply.

would this help??


Lack of sleep make you lose your sense of humour?

The same Britain where I can buy Codeine cough syrup from Boots over the counter (without a prescription)?

Actually, that superpower could be quite useful. You would make the best security guard EVER!

You realize if you move to Tibet, that butterfly will just be noisier.

What is the sound of one wing flapping?

If the Chinese don’t do something to rein in* all those butterflies on their territory, we’re going to have to invade.

*And that’s assuming the government isn’t behind all that flapping in the first place!

“Did you ever hear a noise that just makes you want to punch a baby?” - Dane Cook

Well, as a matter of fact . . .