A Cautionary Tale of Dating

So I’ve been single for a loooong time, and I date quite a bit. Herein lies a tale of my most recent tribulations on the dating scene.
I met a new friend- she started working at my job a few months ago, and we hit it off very well immediately. I almost instantly knew that we would be very close friends, and for a long time. This friend likes to hang out in Tombstone- “The Town Too Tough To Die”, about an hour away from here. We went on Memorial Day weekend, and there were tons of people there, drinking and dancing, some of them dressed up like 1800s people. It was lots of fun- and I met this guy. We hung out that night for a bit, talked and danced a lot. He started calling me every couple of days, and we made plans for me and my friend to come down there this weekend (last night) to hang out with him some more. He seemed very nice and gentlemanly, courteous and thoughtful. Told me he was 50, which bothered me a little, as I’m only 38, and dating someone 12 years older than I is a little off-putting, but I decided to go with it and see if he really was as nice and stable as he seemed.

Last night we arrived, and he took us both out to dinner and then for dancing and drinks afterward. He was a little too touchy-feely with me, which I did not like at all, and besides that I started to just get a bad vibe from him. At one point I leaned over and asked my friend, “How fast do you think you can run in those shoes?” Something was wrong, but I hadn’t quite put my finger on it yet. We left about midnight, and came back to Tucson, but not before I made sure that I knew his last name, which I hadn’t known as of yet.

Back home, I plugged dude’s name into the Public Access for Court Information page online, and turns out he’s not 50, he’s 58, and also he has a court date coming up on the 19th for violating a restraining order and has another charge for disorderly conduct. Also it told me that he was married in Tombstone in 2005, when he had expressly told me that he was only married once, 30 years ago, and had never married again because he hadn’t found the right person.

I called him today and told him what I’d found out about him. He maintained that he had never lied to me- although in fact, everything he told me about himself was a lie! I told him that I didn’t think I’d be coming back to Tombstone any time soon, but if I did, and he saw me, he needed to go ahead and cross the street to the other side. He agreed to do that. Fortunately, he doesn’t know my last name or where I live or work.

All’s well that ends well, I guess, and this leaves two very important lessons: 1) If you are a scumbag that lives in a tourist town and spend your time picking up chicks from out of town, you should stick with the dumb ones. 2) If you’re someone that dates at all, investigate someone within the first couple of dates- you’d be surprised what you can find out about someone online.

You’ll thank me later.

Gah. Dating can be like going into combat. It sounds to me like this is a very good case for listening to your gut instinct, and acting intelligently on it. I am afraid lots of people are so eager to meet someone and be with someone that they don’t listen to that little warning beep, and end up in an Ann Rule book.

Yet another reason I doubt that I’d ever date again should something happen to my husband. Especially since my gut isn’t all that perceptive. Glad it all worked out for you.