So I’ve had a gym membership for more than a year, but only really began going in earnest about three months ago after an extended period of sloth, gluttony, and some other second-tier but no less deadly sins. And I’ve discovered—much too late, I’m afraid—that it’s addicting. Not in the sense that I crave, look forward to, or even particularly enjoy it. No, more the joyless later stage of addiction, when the heroin doesn’t get you high anymore but you can’t stop or you’ll feel completely miserable.
“I’m just a chipper,” I told myself. “I can handle it.” Well, let me tell you: the gym is a cruel mistress, my friends. It starts out innocently enough, but then one day you find yourself looking in the mirror at a pathetic creature who’s slipping in on his lunch breaks for a 20-minute cardio “fix,” pricing sets of dumbbells, and thinking utter absurdities like “you know, I don’t think my beer gut has been expanding at quite its normal rate lately.”
Heed my words—stay home where it’s safe, on the beanbag with your PS3 or XBox 360* and your Costco-sized tub of Fiddle Faddle. You have been warned!
- But for god’s sake, not a Nintendo Wii… all that unnecessary arm movement is as good as a gateway drug!
I love the gym. I love the feeling of soreness you get after an amazing workout/not going for a while. It’s the feeling of…deep inhale…progress…
It’s too late for me, my friend. 
I had a panic attack when I realized I was a week late paying my gym dues. :eek: I bought new shoes just for the gym*. I keep shopping for workout clothes and equipment. I…weigh and measure way too often, just so I can feel good about my progress. :o I…sometimes even look forward to working out, and dammit, I keep setting goals and being proud when I meet them! :smack:
My gym has started opening up the swimming pool early just for me, when they noticed me hanging around outside waiting. And I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be, when I rowed and had the keycode to the rowing club gym.
I discovered cardio kickboxing last month. My body was previously unaware how much we craved this form of punishment.
I look silly doing it, I’m not actually boxing. And yet I want to go, I need to go. I can’t help buying boxing gloves to take along for these silly cardio exercises!
Is it Thursday yet? It’s been too many days.
Actually my addiction to exercise once I start doing it is probably the reason I have such a hard time sticking with it.
Last year, I discovered rollerblading. I started out slow, no imperatives, just going until I felt like stopping… 30 minutes maybe. By the end of the month I was skating 1.5-2 hours straight every day (for the record, the reason I was going so long was because I was trying to constantly improve my distance but making no progress in speed.) I would come home exhausted with sore muscles all the time. All that energy I was supposed to be having wasn’t happening. I just can’t stop myself from overdoing it and becoming compulsive, demanding progress and more and better. Then, when the slightest thing interrupts my routine, I’m so exhausted and my body feels so good from having a rest that I stop doing it altogether.
So it’s been 8 months since my last regular exercise routine (though oddly enough I lost 45 lbs in that eight months.) Spring is coming… roller-blade season just around the corner… we’ll see if I can find a balance, somehow.
I’m not addicted to the gym. I can stop. Any time I want to. Really, I can. gulp
I started running again the other week. previously, because of knee issues, my cardio has been the stair machine, treadmill or elliptical machine. I thought I’d do some intervals on the 5 laps/mile track - run one, walk one. After the first day when I started paying attention to where the heart devices are on the walls, I realized that I had whole new areas of my body that hadn’t been hurting for years, now I can’t wait to get there each day (or every other day which are my running days) again.
This week, I’m up to run 1 1/2, walk 1/2 lap. At some point in the next few weeks, I’ll get to a straight mile.
A week late? I just found out the gym has been expecting payments for an extra half a year after my contract ended. Like I need another financial obligation. I just got a traffic ticket too. This should be fun.
I feel bad if I miss a day at the gym. Even if I only do the treadmill, I still feel better if I go.
I work at a University. I’ve convinced myself that I go to the gym solely for the myriad of fit college-aged women in skimpy clothing.
the back row of the elipticals is a wonderful place to be.
Motivation is the key, my friend…and that is an amazing motivation…
If I could just get the “personal trainer” vultures to stop accosting me with their “free fitness assessment” offers, I would be considerably happier. It happens at least every couple of weeks, and although most of them piss off after a “no thanks,” one cornered me while I was using the elliptical recently and blabbed for a good fifteen minutes, even after I made my disinterest clear.
I’ve been trying to think of an effective way to repel them, as “not really interested right now” appears not to be forceful enough, and “fuck off” might be a little too forceful. I thought of buying an iPod to discourage conversation. Then I thought—why spend money on an iPod? A pair of ear buds with the cord-end tucked into my shirt pocket might do the trick.
But then I thought—why bother even with that? Leave the cord-end dangling, obviously unattached to anything, and I’ll not only look unavailable, but slightly crazy. But then I thought—why only slightly? Why not a stethoscope, or wooly earmuffs? But then I thought…