A chili bounty!

Cafe Society
1

I was just given a bunch of different kinds of chili peppers. They are:

  • 3 Moraga scorpions
  • 3 bhut jolokia
  • a half-gallon of white habaneros
  • half a dozen red ripe poblanos (they’re usually harvested green, but these were left on the plant)
  • a half-gallon of red cherry

At the moment I’m thinking I’ll pickle the habs (should I try and stem/seed them first?) and maybe roast the poblanos. The cherries I usually use fresh, maybe I’ll do something silly with them and the Brussels sprouts I have in the fridge.

Chili spiciness may be increased by drought conditions. Hmm.

Suggestions welcome!

2

Wear gloves and possibly eye protection.

3

Bury the bhut jolokia at a crossroads at midnight, driving a stake through each one, and wear hazmat gear.

They are not, IMVHO, usable for any cooking experience. They are for testing the macho of stupid truck drivers with no remaining tastebuds.

4

Stuff the cherrys with proscuitto and provolone and marinate them in olive oil and vinegar.

5

Wouldn’t that be a chile bounty?

/pedant

6

Sure, if you’re speaking Spanish. Chili, chile and chilli are all accepted spellings in English.

7

I’ve only seen the pepper spelled that way in England. In the US, the i and the e usually serve to differentiate whether you’re talking about the dish or the ingredient.

Not that I didn’t understand what you meant, but I saw the thread title and my mind went to a pot of chili on the stove.

Clearly it isn’t a big deal either way.

8

Hehe I understood that part, but clicked to try to figure out how you put a bounty out on chilies.

9

Bury, pickle and roast, in that order.

10

Do be careful with the scorpions. I grew them a few years ago, and the ones I ended up with really were the hottest goddamned pepper I’ve ever eaten. (How hot they are will vary based on growing and soil conditions.) My cousin accidentally ate three last week on his hamburger (after half-jokingly complaining to the chef that his habanero hamburger he had last time wasn’t hot enough), and he texted me immediately afterwards that he ate something called a “rooster pepper,” that it was the hottest thing he’s ever eaten, and then began describing it. We soon figured out that the chef, for whom English is not the first language, actually gave him scorpion peppers (which was confirmed with a phone call soon after.) My cousin was out of commission for basically a whole day. He went into work the next day, stayed two hours, and had to come home because of stomach cramps. I ate one pepper raw and vomited about two hours later. I have never had a pepper do that to me before, and I’ve had and grown bhut/naga jolokias, too (although, to be fair, I did eat it on an empty stomach. It wasn’t so much the heat that got me, it’s what it did to my gut. After a certain point, all the superhots just taste goddamned hot and it’s hard to discern the difference in heat level between them all.)

Those stories aside, I have eaten the scorpions since, but not all at once on an empty stomach. They pack a wallop, but I don’t really like the flavor of either of these peppers and feel no need to grow them again. It’s not so much that they’re all heat–they just have this chemically flavor to them, perhaps a bit astringent, too. They’re in the ballpark of habaneros in flavor (they are, after all, capsicum chinense cultivars), but not as fruity and enjoyable. When it comes to those types of peppers, my favorites are the fataliis. Still blistering hot, but with a much more pleasant flavor.

So what would I do with those superhots? The bhut jolokia might be worth roasting, chopping up finely, and mixing with just lime and salt and use sparingly as a condiment, if you really want to gauge the flavor of it for yourself and see if you like it. Some people do apparently like the flavor, calling it smoky and “haunting,” but, at least the ones I’ve had, were, like I said, too chemically for my tastes. But they were edible. The scorpions I would use as I would use capsaicin extract (which I don’t like or use) and simply use it to amp up the heat level of something. (I made a tindaloo/phall type of thing for shits and giggles with ghosts and scorpions years back when I grew them. It was hot as shit, but I just didn’t like the flavor. Once you get into the 100K Scoville and higher, it’s all just really hot, and it’s really the pepper flavor that comes through and makes a difference.)

11

Missed edit:
ETA: If you (or anyone) is interested here is my post about trying the scorpion for the first time.

12

Meanwhile, for posterity’s sake, here’s a slightly redacted version of my cousin’s texts:

Cousin (5:02 p.m.): Dude I just had the hottest fucking burger. Heard of rooster pepper? At least that’s what he claims…it hurt so bad. It was hiccups and sweating profusely my shirt was getting wet. [He] said he made the burger insane spicy because the last two times I complained not spicy enough. Had 3 dried rooster peppers…fuck man…crazy pain. I can’t feel my lips. I ate it ten minutes ago.

Cousin (5:09 p.m.): I dunno man looked up rooster peppers they didn’t look like that. They look like shriveled up dried cranberries. Mother fucking painful.

Me: I grew some rooster spur peppers a couple years ago, and they were like Tabasco or cayennes. Don’t know any other rooster pepper, though.

Cousin: There’s no way they were rooster. My stomach is on fire. I feel kinda ill haha

Me: Wonder what they are. So small round hot peppers, huh?

Cousin: They were fat…size of quarter. Dark red almost brown.

Me: Oh, huh. Maybe he got rooster and scorpion mixed up :slight_smile:

Cousin: I’m gonna Google that. I’d hate to think I just ate 3 whole scorpions.

Me: I doubt they’re scorpions–they’re the right size, but have a funky shape to them. Who knows. Did they have that habanero-y flavor to them?

Cousin: It was fruity for a split second then fucking DEATH.

Me: Sounds like something in that vein, then.

Cousin: Dude. Confirmed. I just called him. He meant scorpion. Mother fuck! Fuck my stomach arghghghhhr

Cousin (6:38 p.m.) Fucking christ. Feels like someone punched me in the gut. I’m on my knees in my room. Kinda dizzy. Mouth watering.

Cousin (2:43 a.m.): Still suffering lol. Woke up with a hot coal feeling in my belly.

Cousin (9:15 a.m.): Only made it two hours at work. Stomach and ab spasms. Home now, organic whole milk, rice pudding, yogurt and ice cream. Chills and sometimes pre vomit mouth waters profusely.
So, take that as a lesson kids!

13

Update: I pickled the white habaneros. Handing one to my husband, I said “I haven’t tasted them yet, I don’t know how hot they are.” I ate one too.

Both of us considered it very hot. I, however, didn’t make a giant fuss and insist on ice cream to soothe the burn :slight_smile:

I had another this afternoon. They’re punchy and flavourful, and very very hot. I got a nice endorphin rush.

The scorps are in the fridge in a ziplock marked “INSANITY.” No idea what to do with them. Chemical weaponry?

I’m thinking about making a batch of chili sauce or sambal out of the poblanos and jalapenos (some ripe, some white, some green) which I forgot to mention in my OP. Maybe I’ll do a sauce and a jam/jelly…

Anyone have a favourite recipe?