A Choice of Afterlife

In My Humble Opinion
1

So at some indeterminate point in the future you shuffle off this mortal coil, to your surprise (or maybe not) it turns out that death is not in fact The End, instead you find yourself sitting behind a desk in the Afterlife’s Anteroom. Sitting on the other side is a young woman who patiently explains what happens next, she is also willing to answer whatever questions you may have but counsels that she is not omniscient and does not know everything, though she would probably be able to find out.

She explains that God exists and He is benevolent, there is no punishment in the afterlife but rather a choice of what happens next, she indicates a row of doors behind her. Every deceased person is treated the same and given the same choices.

First option is to enter Heaven. She tells you its really hard to describe because there is no real mortal analogue, but basically its entering God’s presence where a person is cleansed and transformed. Part of it is an education for where a person failed or sinned in their mortal life, again it is not a punishment but rather a learning experience. Technically a person can choose to leave Heaven but no-one ever does.

The second option is Reincarnation, a person is returned to the mortal realm and reborn for another cycle of birth, life and death. There is no choice of mortal body and you may be incarnated as male or female, human or animal. You will not consciously remember your previous life, or lives, but on dying and returning to the Afterlife Antechamber your soul will recall and have access to the knowledge or experience of your previous existences. The fact you do not have any memories of other lives suggests that this is your first incarnation.

Third option is Hell, she explains that again this is not a punishment, but rather it is a place or reality where God has voluntarily withdrawn His presence so people are able to act freely without any divine influence. She is unsure of what this existence is like but states that people who choose it do not return to the Afterlife Antechamber.

Option four is to return temporarily to the mortal realm as a disembodied spirit, you are invisible, intangible and cannot interact by any means with the material world. At any time you can choose to return to the Afterlife Antechamber just by willing it. If you spend long enough without making contact one of the divine powers will come looking for you just to check you’re OK.

Option five is annihilation, on passing through the door the person ceases to exist, their soul is nullified and they painlessly die instantly, permanently and forever.

Having explained the options she reveals that she is actually an ancestor of yours, a person is allowed as long as they like to choose and she has been dead for several decades already. She has been asked and has agreed to welcome newly deceased people and explain the options to them. Eventually she herself will have to choose one of the doors but so far she is content to watch what other people decide. One caveat is that while in the Afterlife Antechamber you can observe but cannot communicate by any means with the mortal realm or with the residents of Heaven or Hell. Existence in the antechamber is pretty much like life on Earth except you do not age physically and require no sustenance or sleep, you also cannot be injured. You can interact with others but any negative actions are heavily frowned upon and she assures you that it is one of the few occasions where the divine powers will intervene directly and you do not want that to happen as if the offence is egregious enough or repeated often enough you will be forced through one of the doors and not one of your own choosing.

So, she says with a smile, do you have any questions you would like to ask? Or would you like to make a choice?

For the purposes of this thread there are no tricks or hidden agendas, the situation is as it appears, the person is who she says she is and the options are as described.

2

First question: Which God?

3

I chose reincarnation. I am not at the end of my life, (that I know of), but certainly closer to the end than the beginning. While my life has not always been easy or fun, on the whole I’ve had a pretty good time. I’d like to go around again.

I am curious about the “Remaining in the Antechamber” options, just how much can you observe the other realms? (Mortal, Heaven, Hell) Seems that would make choosing more informed, perhaps too much so?

4

I’d go with reincarnation. It’d be interesting to try out being a few hundred different people and a few thousand different species.

5

Reasoning that I’m going to face this decision again, probably a lot of times, I’ll go with “Haunting the Mortal Realm.” I want to be able to freely explore this current world.

Once I’m bored with that, reincarnation. A few dozen or so cycles of that, and I’d be ready to explore some of these other realms.

6

Yes, I realised I didn’t describe that well after my initial post. I pictured it as something like the departure lounge in an airport, you are free to wander around and interact with other waiting people but its restricted in size and scope. You can watch what’s happening on Earth like through a television set but don’t have that much control over what you see. You can’t view Heaven or Hell because of their ineffability and difficulty of your limited mortal mind comprehending what they are like.

7

Reincarnation sounds closer to hell to me.

I think I’d prefer heaven or haunting. I think there will be amazing technological changes in the next 200 years, and I’d want to be a ghost walking around so I could see it all.

But heaven sounds better. I’d hang out in heaven and then stop by as a ghost to see what all tech changes have happened.

8

I chose haunting, partly because I think I would find it interesting for several years (perhaps decades) but mainly because as described, it seems to be the option that is most likely to confer the ability to at some point come back and choose one of the other options. Once I’d had my fill of haunting, I’d almost certainly go for reincarnation, for exactly the same reasons. I think it would be many visits to the antechamber before I considered it was time to take one of the other options, and if that time came I think Heaven would be my choice.

9

I chose Heaven, because the thought of another random go-round is exhausting, at this point.

Mini rant: the ‘vote now’ button needs to be a color, because 9 times out of 10 I hit ‘reply’ by mistake.

10

If my exit was particularly unpleasant (like, nibbled to death by an okapi) I’d probably go with heaven or annihilation just to put all this life nonsense behind me.
Reincarnation is a nonstarter–if there is any chance I could come back as a spider (they mate with spiders! ew!), I fold.
Having worked in customer service I’ve had quite enough of being screamed at for shit that wasn’t my fault–no way am I greeting the freshly dead!

Haunting sounds great, actually. Just this morning I was wondering how cool it would be to have the freedom to explore a huge city without having to deal with all the people. Just to see what they get up to, and what they’ve gotten up to and forgotten about. Once I get bored, and thoroughly convinced that I can’t figure out a way to mess with the living, off to heaven I go.

11

Presumably The Real Deal, the archetype upon which are based all the earthly misrepresentations.

12

Does the Antechamber have a library? An infinite one? Does heaven?

13

Afterlife? If I thought I had to go through a whole 'nother life, I’d kill myself right now.

14

Heaven and Hell, as you’ve described them, aren’t all that different from the mainstream Christian interpretations of them.

But before deciding, I have a few questions. If the receptionist has never seen Heaven or Hell, how does she know anything about what they’re like? If she learned it from another receptionist, how did that person know, and so on? If at some point a receptionist learned from some other source, can I have access to that source instead of just talking to the receptionist?

I don’t have any memories of past lives, but it sounds like there are plenty of other souls in the Antechamber. Presumably some of them have, and some have tried the haunting thing for a while: What did they think of either?

My first life was apparently as a human, but if human souls can reincarnate into animals, are there any souls whose first lives were as other species? Do they end up in the Antechamber to make a choice, too? Are all of the same options open to them? Are there any options open to them which aren’t open to humans?

How about others I’ve known who have died: What have they chosen?

15

So Riverworld is off the table?

16

Actually, let me expand that last one: What about people I didn’t know? Did the Buddha choose reincarnation? Do all popes go to Heaven? And of course, what about Jesus?

I guess I’m sort of choosing “remain in the antechamber”, because it’s going to be a long time before I run out of questions to ask.

17

I picked annihilation (the first to do so, it appears). And…then I read the OP. (Er, yeah.) On reflection though I’m not sure I regret my choice.

I’m not a trusting soul, and I would have a hard time buying the “there’s no tricks” thing. Particularly about things like “there’s a benevolent god” and “hell is spiffy”. The greeter frankly admits that they have no knowledge of what either Heaven or Hell is like beyond the fact that nobody comes back. That’s…ominous. I mean, particularly on the hell front (unsupervised humans have a poor track record creating egalitarian utopias that nobody wants to leave from), but to be honest Heaven sounds dodgy too. The fact I would be modified upon entry sounds quite bad, and the fact the self-described benevolent God has done such a lousy job presiding over earth bodes ill too. Neither option sounds promising, and to be honest the fact that nobody leaves, even briefly, suggests to me that they can’t, and since that fact isn’t advertised you’d have to wonder why…

But, per the OP, all such thoughts are fighting the hypothetical. (I’d still have them, though…)

Regarding the other options, reincarnation sounds pointless and haunting sounds like it would only be useful as a way to wallow in regrets and depression. Lingering in the waiting room sounds kind of boring - do they have wifi? Residences? Who else is standing around? Can I interview them? Date them? Get them all pissed off at me and be shunned forever?

Regardless of the other options, I figure at some point I would get bored of living forever and decide to go quietly into oblivion anyway. (Unless I stumbled into heaven or hell and found I no longer had that option.) Nothing about these afterlives sounds particularly fun, and there’s little indication of any sort of economy that would provide me with the pleasures of life. (In fact there’s little indication that there’s company - unless you just hang around the waiting room and bother your ancestor while she’s trying to work.)

But in any case, back to the situation at hand. It seems I have the opportunity to ask questions. Question one is, can I get an interview with God? I have some questions to ask. At the moment I don’t have enough confidence in his character to trust that my poor ancestor hasn’t been fed a pack of lies.

18

No to reincarnation: going through this mortal coil once is enough. Already been through school, dealt with the angst of not knowing WTF to do next, dealt with romances gone bad, the ups and downs of a career…hell no, I’m not doing that shit again!

I’m glad for everything I’ve been through (modulo a few mild regrets), because it’s all made me who I am now, and I’m pretty happy with that guy in the mirror. Erase all but some vague outlines and start over? Fuck that noise.

Haunting? Nope. Just as bad, only without the ability to interact.

Nah, if there’s a ‘next,’ when this life is over, I want to move on to whatever’s next. Call it heaven, call it what you will. Let’s see what’s there.

19

I chose “remaining in the Antechamber” because I often take a while to make decisions.

Though when I do decide, I don’t think I’d enjoy reincarnation. Haunting would be out for me, as I don’t know if I’d want to return to a world I couldn’t interact with, and therefore couldn’t help people. Annihilation sounds kind of like a depressing option since there are other options where you can continue in an afterlife. And if God exists and is benevolent, as is the condition in the OP, then a Hell with no divine intervention doesn’t sound nice. So I guess it’d be Heaven for me.

20

I find myself irresistibly drawn to this thread, as I stand here in the waiting room running the situation over and over through my mind. I apologize in advance is this turns out to be threadshitting or something.

It’s obvious to me that, given the chance to do so, the obviously most prudent thing to do would be to briefly visit both Heaven and Hell to determine which is better (since neither is presented as being explicitly awful). It’s also obvious to me that I wouldn’t have been the first person to think that way - which means that the fact that nobody’s come out means that they can’t come out. And it’s also obvious to me that there’s no clear reason to visit any specific one of them over the other, which means that both of them are traps.

Which leaves the wandering mind to ponder what sort of traps they might be.

With hell, the obvious conclusion is that it is in fact an explicit prison. The young woman knows nothing about it but that God isn’t managing the place and that nobody’s leaving it. This strongly suggests that people are using their libertarian freedom in there to deprive others of their libertarian freedom. Entering that door would be to enter into slavery at best.

Heaven’s a somewhat more interesting case. It’s explicitly stated that people who enter therein will be annihilated and replaced by a ‘cleansed’ individual who has no thoughts of leaving, ever. In fact, given how utterly impossible it would be for a normal human to remain engaged and happy forever while simultaneously never wanting to do anything that is even slightly out of line, it seems reasonable to conclude that everyone therein has been brainwashed and had their minds replaced by blissfully drooling morons, lacking thoughts because they’re entirely swept up in mindless happiness. I’m having no luck imagining any other way to be happy all the time without ever coloring outside the lines - and without one of my other relatives feeling the desire to step outside and try and coax my greeter relative to come in and join the fun. Seriously, I’ve known enough theists to know they can’t resist trying to spread the good word. And she’s family. There’s no chance they’d leave her to rot - unless they were blissfully decomposing in mindless stasis themselves.

Hanging out in the antechamber seems perilous. We already know the God mentally reprograms people who go to heaven to make them tolerable company, so he’s unlikely to be very tolerant of missteps on the doorstep. (Plus it’s outright stated that offenses are “heavily frowned on” - if I didn’t know better I’d think my relative was trying to clandestinely warn me about the looming judgement that she herself is only evading via constant vigilance.) And the judgement is harsh - presuming random sentencing you have a 60% chance of being sent somewhere you’re not coming back from, and the sentencing probably won’t be random. And given it’s for bad behavior you probably won’t be sent to the supposedly happy place.

Reincarnation, as described, involves your mind being ‘shelved’ for the duration, while your brainless soul goes and lives out another life. As far as you’re concerned, it’s not something you’ll actually experience - you’ll just say “reincarnate me” and then suddenly you’ll have the memories of a whole other life. Or more probably, you’ll suddenly be a completely different person who is surprised to find that she’s suddenly developed unexpected and incongrous memories of your life. Or more likely you’ll wake up as an insect reeling from being thrust into an afterlife its insect mind can’t even comprehend. In any case we’re talking about complete annihilation of your mind and personality. You might as well go to heaven.

Turning our attentions to haunting, it’s presented as an empty room with video privileges. Really good video privileges - you can wander freely and look in on anyone’s life anonymously. Sneak into theaters, board rooms, locker rooms, bedrooms. Wander the highest peaks, the vastest deserts, the thickest forests, the wildest savannas, the deepest oceans. The entire world is your oyster - but you can’t taste that oyster. Or touch it. Or effect it. Honestly I’d expect to go mad within a month - or just give up and come back to the proper afterlives where people will acknowledge my existence. (This is presuming there’s not some sort of spectral society of ghosts that has sprung up that you can interact with. Of course if there was one it would probably be mostly devoted to keeping you from spying on the living’s bedroom activities… and also if there was a viable spectral society the powers that be wouldn’t feel compelled to check up on you. So there probably isn’t one.)

Annihilation is looking better and better all the time. It’s not like it has downsides, other than what you’re missing, and none of the other options look all that great. And it’s not like anybody’ll miss you when you’re gone - nobody’s missing your relative, after all.

Still, though, to make an entirely informed decision one should probably take a few minutes to look around and see what sort of society has sprung up in the antechamber, while being extremely careful not to be caught chewing gum or something during your survey and thus get tossed into hell. Who knows, perhaps it’s not being closely monitored by the powers that be, and perhaps it would be possible to make a(n after)life there for a time. Before screwing up and getting tossed into the torture pits in hell. Naah, too risky. Door number five, please!