A collection of observations while being temporarily handicapped

The BBQ Pit
1

I broke my ankle in the beginning of June. Spectacularly. Surgery, titanium plates, screws, and NO WALKING FOR 3 MONTHS. I use a knee scooter, and I have a handicap tag for my car until December. (Yeah, I’m talented, but this isn’t about me.)

I wanted to share a few things I’ve noticed from my undoubtedly privileged position of being temporarily handicapped. Privileged in the sense of being able to walk away from my disability at some point. I hope. My hat is off to everyone who has to deal with all of this stuff on a permanent basis.

People are assholes. Unrestricted douchebags.

Type 1: Handi-parkers. They take handicapped parking by blocking access to the spot. I actually need the extra-wide spot to hop on one leg out of the driver’s door, open the passenger door of my van, heave out my scooter, put it into position next to my van, get anything else I need out of my van, and then keep moving. If you park into the extra space, or into handicapped spot, I can’t do that. Type 1: Asshole.

Type 2: Handi-parkers, the fakes: They borrow mom’s car, so they can get the good spots at the mall. I can’t tell you how many times in the last few weeks I’ve watched in astonishment as young 20 somethings pile out of a car with a handicapped placard. Nothing wrong with them. Exercise would be good for them. Type 2: Irritating little flea bag maggots.

Type 3: Cheap skate building designers: They put the handicapped stall in the bathroom, but there’s no way to open the door to the bathroom or the front door for that matter. I’ve gotten really good at slamming hard into doors and then trying to make it all the way through while the door is thrown all the way against the wall. That or looking around and asking strangers for help. Which I personally hate. Is it that hard to make the doors swivel a little easier so a person in a wheel chair or on crutches can manage on their own? Don’t get me started on the ramp angles. Riding down a ramp is an exercise in terror. Just make the angle a little shallower for the love of all that’s holy! Type 3: Penny-pinching, miserly bastards

Type 4: Think it’s funny: it’s not fucking funny dimwit. Yesterday, for example, I’m at CostCo. I lost track of the number of people who asked if they could ride my scooter. “Looks like fun.” “Can I use that?” “Well, that’s one way to get around, yuk, yuk.” You know what, my leg hurts like a someone jammed metal rod up it, I’m NOT doing this for fun, get the hell out of my way, take your hand off my scooter, Og damnit, the world is populated by idiots! Who the hell thinks anyone rides a handicapped conveyance around for fun? Type 4: Oh, just bite me.

TL; DR Being handicapped, even temporarily sucks, and the world is populated by assholes who make it worse.

2

I can support this pitting wholeheartedly. I am able bodied, for now, but when I have my 90 yr. old mother–yes, people are assholes. I’ve taken to pointing my phone at their cars and pretending to take a photo when some car jams into the last handicapped spot and out jumps grubby Mom and her 5 spawn. Way to teach those kids, Mom. And I sit, with handicapped placard hanging from the mirror, and a tiny grey headed lady next to me in the passenger seat, waiting for that spot. Fuck you and your nasty spawn who will no doubt be the next generation of stupid people.

And the able bodies motherfuckers who take the carts at the grocery stores and Walmarts of the world. Mom uses a walker for now; she’s resisting the wheelchair, but she LOVES the independence of the cart. But you creeps take them for fun, and Mom has to toddle along with her walker to shop. Fuck you all.

Please understand, servers of the world’s restaurants, that Mom needs her walker where she can see it. Sorry 'bout that, it’s the dementia that make her think everyone is stealing from her, so I will put the walker where I can, as much out of the was as I can, but it has to be within her eyesight. If she even sees you touch it, she’s gonna get agitated, so please ask me first.

Oh, and BTW, servers, when you walk up to the table, I will say to you “She’s very deaf, please look at her when you speak to her, and speak up and as clearly as you can.” I have a hundred dollar bill tucked in my wallet for the server that gets it. In 5 years I’ve given out 1. The dementia hasn’t gotten so bad <yet> that she needs to be treated like a retarded 4 yr. old.

3

I had to look up “knee scooter”.

4

Knee scooter = a form of wheeled support that you use with one leg standing and the other resting on the device, instead of sitting. You rest your bent knee on a platform, it has 4 wheels and handle bars. Mine has hand brakes, like a bicycle.

Knee Scooter

5

Here in New England, they plow the snow into the handicapped parking spots. (I’m looking at you, JC Penny!)

6

As amazing as a knee scooter is, I can’t imagine it’s very comfortable to begin with while using in a store for over an hour. The wisecracks alone would send me to the taser aisle.

Hoe you don’t need to use that too much longer, ddsun.

7

Oh yeah, I learned this the hard way. Between two reconstructive surgeries on my right foot I spent a year and a half on crutches.

I can count on one hand the number of people who went out of their way to help me.

I damn near punched a kid when he jumped on the cart I was using to get through a grocery store and yelled ‘Go! Go! Faster!’ in my ear. I damn near ran his idiot mother down when all she did was laugh.

It lowered my already low opinion of people in general.

8

How the fuck do you know?

9

They usually display an amount of vigor (fast walking or running) incompatible with breathing or heart disease and show no sign of difficulty walking.

10

Yes. And no wheelchair, cast, or other sign of other of other issue or need for the handicapped spot. Call me an untrusting cynic.

11

I know e.g. a “young 20 something” who has MS. Most of the time, nothing seems wrong. But when something is wrong, something is very, very wrong.

12

Fair enough; but when nothing seems wrong, does that mean they still need to use the handicapped spot? And would the person with MS be horsing around with his/her friends when they get out of the vehicle?

In any case, the folks arguing with #2 are technically correct, it is always possible that there is some handicap or disability that is not immediately obvious. But we’ve also seen the studies that show that handicap placard abuse is rampant (here’s one article from last year about San Francisco; here’s another one from this year about San Diego. I don’t know, maybe it’s a California thing).

So the odds are that if no-one in the vehicle appears to be handicapped, then the driver is taking advantage of someone else’s card to score a good parking space.

13

Wow. They seriously can’t be bothered to speak to your mother in a way so she can understand them?

That’s nice. For one of those, there are 50 others (yes, made up number but experience tells me it’s probably close to that) who are using someone elses handicapped hanger or a fake one.

14

:mad: My late grandmother went legally blind before the dementia said it; I once pulled a waitress who completely ignored her aside with the owner and by the time I was done I had the entire table’s meal compt and the waitress was crying. I am not ashamed at what I did.

15

I am sorry about your young friend’s illness. I acknowledge that some percentage of the apparently able-bodied may not be.

There’s still a lot of chumps out there.:mad:

16

I spent ten years in the bowels of the Americans with Disabilities Act, and nowhere did I find Moral Bankruptcy among the protected disabilities. :wink:

17

I don’t think you get to decide where the walker goes. What if in “mother’s sight” is still a hazard to the server, other customers, including children, or mother herself?

18

A walker takes up less space than a wheelchair. Take a chair from the table and put the walker there. Even easier if the walker folds.

19

Someone with a heart problem, severe arthritis, breathing issues, etc might not wear a cast, or use a wheelchair, but they still need that spot just as much as you do. Haven’t we had this discussion on this board before? :dubious:

Invisible disabilities
(Note: I’m not saying that assholes don’t abuse handicapped parking spaces. But the whole, “well, those people look perfectly fine!!!” is a bunch of bullshit)

20

I have “it’s not MS but it shares all the symptoms” and when something is wrong I’m either in bed or grabbing the nearest support with both hands - I’m not skipping along.