Skip the turkey. It’s bland and takes up too much time and space.
Ham, Lamb, Rib Roast, Pork Roast…any and all of those things beat the crap out of turkey.
An Arky
Heretic
56, thanks for some great suggestions!
So what is the right temperature? Getting the bird to be just right is always what gives us the biggest problem (after all of these years most of the other stuff is pretty easy).
I recently read some interesting advice on Turkey temps: take the bird out when the breast is done, remove the breast to carve, then return and cook the remainder so that legs are done.
Our other “problem” is that everything else gets cold while my dad makes the gravy. He makes fantastic gravy, so hard to complain too much. Hope that foil will keep things warm!
Gravy can actually be made several months in advance, if desired, and frozen. It won’t have giblets in it, but if done properly will be full-flavored. Making it in advance prevents T-day catastrophic gravy failure (CGF). It involves roasting thighs/drumsticks and making stock. I can post a recipe if somebody wants it.
Best suggestion yet! 
(Great minds, and all that. ;))
Well, my dear friend Rick will vehemently disagree with me, but I’ve found the best solution for getting both the white and dark meat done at the same time is to cook the bird upside down, unstuffed (except for some herbs and loose veggies for flavor). The dark meat drippings run through the bird, keeping the breast moist and not drying it out before the rest of the bird is done. It has never, ever, ever failed for me. this is the basic recipe I follow.
Important point: if you plan to present the bird before carving, and want a pretty, brown skin on the breast meat, you’ll have to find a way to flip the bird over near the end of cooking. HOWEVER, if you don’t want to risk dropping the bird on the floor, or any other catastrophe that might occur, it isn’t at all necessary to do. If you carve it in the kitchen and present it on a serving tray, no one will ever be the wiser, but they will be extremely impressed with your moist and delicious breast meat!
QFT.
Especially other people’s children. Having busy-bee stuff to keep them out of trouble avoids the whole “if you won’t discipline your child, I will” “I can’t believe she had the NERVE to yell at my angel” argument.
If you have a separate table for the kids, set it up as a craft station until you absolutely need to put down the plates. Crayons, coloring books, blank drawing paper, maybe some play-doh, whatever’s easy to get out of the way and seems suitable for the age. When it’s time to get ready for serving, have them clear the stuff out of the way and/or help set their table. If you still need something to keep them occupied, send 'em around to make sure everyone has something to drink and take orders for anyone who doesn’t have something already.
I’m sure your grandmother is a better cook than I could ever dream to be, but not even the best hot gravy in the world can help cold mashed potatos. 
Absolutely no alcohol consumed by the hostess before the dinner. A drunk hostess ruins the dinner.
True, but she meant that hot gravy on warm potatoes works wonders. Her point was don’t worry if everything isn’t piping hot - piping hot gravy fixes a multitude of timing errors!
The first year I did all the Thanksgiving stuff (my mom usually did it, but her brother was dying of brain cancer) I made a last minute panic post - “Isn’t there supposed to be a heart in this bag?! Where is the heart?!?!?!” Several people calmed me down by telling me that they’d gotten a double hearted one sometimes. I don’t know why I had this idea in my head that the bag contains Your Turkey’s personal bits - I was afraid I was missing something because I wasn’t used to cooking whole birds. So don’t freak out if your Magic Bag includes more or less of the turkey than you’re expecting.
You lying blasphemer. Sometimes that’s the only way I can get through the dinner, considering who I’m serving my lovingly prepared food to. (If it was good enough for Julia Child, it’s good enough for you.)
No doubt about it.
Once the cook is two sheets to the wind things go wrong. Lush out after the meal.
But if the host is the one working in the kitchen, he can drink as much as he likes? That sounds a bit unfair to the hostess.
Carve the turkey like this: http://blog.lib.umn.edu/richlee/Thoughts/21carve-650.jpg
I dunno, a drunk hostess can provide all sorts of comic relief. Drunk cooks can screw up meals, but drunken witticisms are a family tradition with us. We strive for a separation of those duties.
Zsofia that was meant in a lighthearted manner. I really don’t consider you a lush.
We mostly have the kids play outside on Thanksgiving, usually on the lanai but we’ll put them in the street if we have to*. This year we’ll have ten adults, six kids, a teenager and a pre-teen. My daughter is the tweener, she’ll be 13 in a few weeks. I’ll lobby for her to get a chair at the grown up table this year, mainly because she eats like a grown up. But she’s a trooper and will be okay with the rest of the kids if need be. Not sure how we’ll handle it in a few years when we have 10+ adults and a gaggle of teens with just a few under 10s. Might have to go buffet.
*Current Thanksgiving forecast is for high 60s with sunshine, cooling off quite a bit once the sun sets. A little cool for us on Thanksgiving but it should make the meal more enjoyable.
That’s just because you don’t know me very well.
You beat me to it. This is a must-do for me. It’s amazing how much time it takes to make it all happen. If I tried to guess at this, dinner would definitely be late!
Yeah, one of our guests is insisting on bringing one of these to “add” to the menu I’ve already planned. :rolleyes: Since he’s boyfriend’s family, saying no would be more drama than just letting him bring it. However, my rule is “Bring your own platter/carving utensils. Mine will be in use.” :rolleyes: